To really hate the word "passed" for someone who's died

[Slippery]

Passed what? Passed to where? They've died. Doesn't matter how you try to dress it up.

I've recently had two family members die, and it really pisses me off when someone says they've "passed".

End of rant.

My baby died. When people ask about him I can't bring myself to say 'XXXXX died', I have to say 'XXXXX passed away'. I know he's dead, but it hurts to say the actual word aloud. There's many reasons why people choose to say 'passed' or 'passed away'. Please don't judge them.

My father passed away a week ago. I quite frankly couldn't give a fuck if people don't like the term. It's easier to say than died or dead.

@Namesarehard it's coming up to 3 years since I lost my dad and it's so hard. You're still in the disbelief/wtf bubble And I did lose my dad, he's not down the back of the sofa, he's not just wandered into the wrong room, he's fucking lost to us for the rest of our lives.

Time to hide this crappy snidey thread I think

My ex husband found himself a new partner, she was an amazing step mum to the 3 DC from our marriage, she died very suddenly, 7 years ago. My ex tried to tell our children who at that time were 12, 11 & 9 that their Step mum had passed, it only added to their confusion. I was totally different, I sat the children down and explained as honestly as I could that she had died, and that the Doctors had tried to save her, but they couldn't. Yes, the children, like the rest of were devastated, but they knew that she had died, and they wouldn't see her again. It gave us the right footing to talk about her in a positive way, and remember her with love . I know that if we had continued with the 'passed' conversation, and that we had lost her my children would have been so confused as these words do not convey the end of a life.

Circumstances are different and that includes the understanding of children. My sister died when I was nine. She was in hospital after a traffic accident. I did fully understand when my parents came home at 1 in the morning and told me that we had lost her. And that was how they always described it in the years after when they spoke of it. I think that that was the beginning of my understanding that some people just have a very difficult time saying that someone has died.

I lost my husband suddenly two years ago. I still cannot say out loud that he has died. It makes it too real. I know it is silly and does not change the facts but I just cannot do it. Many people said they were sorry for my loss or they were sorry to hear. For some reason this felt better.

My only objection to using the word 'passed' or 'passed away' is when it is used in an official context such as by a doctor or newsreader or a newspaper article.

When talking to relatives after the news has been broken, I would like to take the lead from them. If they prefer softer language then that would be good enough for me.

I agree with the OP. It does not make any sense, other than having vaguely religious connotations. Where or what have they passed? Sounds like nonsense.

If you think using a different word changes anything about what happened, you are deceiving yourself. If they died in their sleep, why not say "died peacefully"?

Passed over to the other side.
Sounds more peaceful than dead
Means the same though

THIS IS A THREAD FROM 2018.

SIDE NOTE : LET PEOPLE USE THE WORDS THEY WANT BECAUSE ITS FUCK ALL SKIN OFF YOUR NOSE HOW THEY PROCESS THEIR TRUAMA AND SADNESS.

What other side?

It's the usage on the news that irritates me. Sound childish

@Graduate223

YABU to criticise terminology of such a sensitive subject. Passed is a much nicer and polite term and should always be used unless someone tells you they have a preference for a different term. Fair enough if you personally don’t like it but the majority of people prefer it so it’s much more kind to use what the majority prefer.

How do you know the majority prefer it? Can you provide a single shred of evidence for this? I'm guessing what you mean is you prefer passed so are blindly assuming everyone else must too.

@Georgeskitchen

Passed over to the other side. Sounds more peaceful than dead Means the same though

What now??? The other side of what??? The other side of the coin?? The other side of the world - Australia??

I have an irrational emotional anger whenever I hear the word too.

When my baby son died, I couldn't bear to say the words, I'd say "we lost him" because the grief and guilt was too much to bear. Now, 14 months on, I can talk about his death without crying.

I phoned the crematorium this morning to arrange to collect the ashes of my second dead baby, a little girl. I am so numb, I can say "she's dead" without being overcome with emotion.

But if I were to choose to say that they had passed on, gone on ahead, gone to heaven, gone to be in the stars, that I'd lost them at birth etc, anything to make the grief of their deaths bearable. The end result is still that they are dead, but I would not expect someone to be angry or to ridicule the language, however fluffy, a bereaved person chooses to use to talk about and process their grief.

Agree. I also hate the term 'loved ones'. I don't see what's wrong with friends/family etc.