Husband's inheritance

[samanthajonespr]

My husband's grandma died a few weeks ago and left some money to each of her grandchildren (10k). My in laws are being very controlling about the money and are keeping it in trust rather than letting them all have their share. Husband's been told that he has to put it in ISAs for the sole purpose of saving towards a house deposit otherwise he can't have it. (Those lifetime ISA setups where you declare it's for a house and then you get 25% added by the government)
I'm a SAHM to a 2 year old, he's got a decent job but money's still tight with only 1 income coming in. We have a small amount of debt and could do with moving to a house that doesn't have damp and has a proper garden for our child.
Since all this has happened, my husband has gone weird and cagey if the subject comes up. I suggested that out of the 10k we keep a little bit back and he maybe treats himself, puts some away for our son or we have a nice day out or something. I know that the deposit is very important to have but we have nowhere near enough to put down and we'll only have to save and add to it anyway. When I suggested it he said "I knew you'd do this, I knew you'd try and get me to keep the money", I'm really surprised because he's acting like Gollum and he's cutting me out of it all. My name won't be anywhere near any of it, eg. a joint savings account and I feel like this in just in case I turn into a gold digger and divorce him over half of his inheritance! If I was a gold digger, I really didn't choose my mark very well...
I share everything I get, when my grandma died she didn't have much and it was shared between 5 children and 7 grandchildren so I got a couple of hundred quid. I used it to get us both some new clothes and a nice meal out because she was all about enjoying yourself while you're still here. It hurts because of the principle. I don't want his money, I just to be included. Am I in the wrong here?

sorry I should my similar situation was not my DH being an arse, just people trying to control what is done with an inheritance without any legal ground.

I think it would be sensible to put it into the House buying Isa.
As you said, the Government boost it by 25% so as soon as it went in it would be 12.5k.
Imo, money is very easy to spend and very hard to save.
This money is a chance to get your own house, which would probably be lower mortgage payments than the rent you are currently paying.
I think his family are giving good advice and your Dp seems to be wanting to do the financially savvy thing.

If the money is coming from an account that was a true joint account then the MIL isn't an executor. She's the owner of the money and the will isn't relevant (unless the grandmother had funds in other accounts and/or property to be sold).

Rather than being an inheritance the money would, legally, be a gift from MIL and if she chooses to put conditions on a gift then your DH has to decide if he accepts or not.

I do wonder if there is actually a will to administer?
If there is a will, it is not a given that your mil is executor, it can be anybody - a trusted friend or a solicitor. Without seeing the actual will, you will not know.
POA s die with the person, so it is irrelevant now.
As a trustee myself, that trust was set up by the person well before they died, and was referred to in the will.
I think your oh should possibly ask to see the will, but it doesn't sound like he is too bothered about what is happening, or a least is happy to go along with it.

Given that they could do with moving but are in a position where there would be just about zero wiggle room deposit wise if they could get a mortgage, 1k is far too much to spend on treats. £100 maybe! But a grand could literally be the difference between them being able to buy and not.

A quick google reveals that a lottery win is not automatically matrimonial property either. If the cash is used to purchase the family then it does become matrimonial property but if it is simply put into a bank account then it doesn't. This seems to be the situation in England at any rate, and it has been the subject of court cases.

Anyway, regardless of the legal position there is an emotional dimension to money which has been inherited, and that may also be a factor here. I know that when I inherited money from my grandparents, then it was important to me not to spend any of it - even a small amount - on "treats" or things which wouldn't last. I wanted to be able as much as possible to keep the sum intact and I invested it in property. I know that my attitude towards those sums of money were entirely different from my attitude towards money I have earned myself or even money gifted by those who are still living. Inheritance is only received after a death and it is in some way a last link with the deceased, and I think that makes decisions about that money very personal to the person who has inherited.

I can see why his parents want him to do this and why he agrees.

With a non working wife and child to support along with debt it's likely his only chance of getting on the property ladder. If it's in his sole name and in a specialist isa it can't be frittered away on treats etc.

I don't think a family inheritance should be classed as joint money. It's down to the person inheriting to decide what to do with it. Their family worked hard to accrue it not the partners,

My DH inherited £60k when his mother died. We discussed it, we decided what to do with it. It was his money but we are a couple and make decisions together. I thought that was normal.

OP at the end of the day his parents can't make rules about what he does with the money, if it was left to him it was his money and not their business. Anyway how would they enforce it? He can say he's putting it in an ISA and then blow the lot.

I think that makes decisions about that money very personal to the person who has inherited. So not for his parents to decide then?

@peacheachpearplum

No, not for his parents, or anyone else, to decide. I've already said that in a previous post. I'm responding here more to those who keep insisting that the OP has a legal claim on or entitlement to money inherited by her DH.

I would be furious if my dh had this attitude towards me. All money in our house is joint money and yes, an inheritance is his money but I wouldn’t be happy if only he got to decide to use it. ‘My’ money from my parents has been treated as joint money and used for the good of the family and dh had a say in that as he should.

The op isn’t wanting to take all ‘his’ money she’s annoyed at the way she been treated.

The problem I have is his parents dictating everything. There's no probate, there's no trust. It's just her.

Is there a will? And if so, is she going through Probate?

We decided together how to spend the money I got from my Granny. He has agreed that he needs to see the will so we're going to broach the subject with them later on this evening. He has a right to see it

That sounds good OP. My DH received a conditional inheritance and he felt manipulated by it. Glad you're working as a team.

Good, glad he's going to see it.

Would you think of speaking to a broker to see if a mortgage might be possible OP? Maybe you have already but if not, worth considering. Just with you saying as well about needing to move because of the damp.

Is there a will? And if so, is she going through Probate?

It sounds like it's coming from a joint account that the MIL and Granny shared. So no will, no probate and technically/legally MIL's money, which may explain the DH being willing to adhere to her stipulations.

He has agreed that he needs to see the will so we're going to broach the subject with them later on this evening. He has a right to see it

He also needs to realise that if the money was in a joint account then what is in the will is irrelevant, unless his Grandmother had other accounts or property.

Whilst he does need to find out what is going on, he may need to tread carefully. If the money is legally's MIL's then she doesn't actually have to give it to him.

He has agreed that he needs to see the will so we're going to broach the subject with them later on this evening. He has a right to see it

Well done so far. Please report back with your progress, especially as to the conditions etc insofar as your husband's legacy is concerned

It sounds like it's coming from a joint account that the MIL and Granny shared. So no will, no probate and technically/legally MIL's money, which may explain the DH being willing to adhere to her stipulations

This is how my thoughts are going too.

Did Grandma just say that "when I'm dead there will be £X for each of the grandchildren and she just told mum to distribute it. Did Grandma impose the conditions or is this solely mum's doing?

How can there not be probate if there was a will and several thousand pounds in the estate? Your MiL has no right to pay out the money without probate unless, as pp say, it is in a joint account. Your husband needs to see the probate as well as the will.

Even if the account was made into a joint account, if the money was actually all the deceased's and the mil just added to help operate the account as grandma became more frail, the money will not automatically all pass to mil - certainly not if there was a will which didn't leave everything to the deceased's only child! As with houses, joint accounts can be held as joint tenants or tenants in common with different shares. It doesn't sound to me like the grandma intended her dd to inherit everything in the joint account to do with as she wanted.

OK: legal question for those knowledgeable in Eng/Sco/NI law.

If a person inherits money, keeps it separate to all other money, and does not at any time use it for their family's benefit, is that money a divisible asset when the relationship ends?

Where I live, the answer is a simple No. It is not relationship property.

If it has been mingled (entirely or to some extent) it will be relationship property but the court may make an unequal division if doing so is fair.

For my own part: I've had a couple of inheritances. I used them both to pay down the mortgage, however, I was quite clear that it was my decision (DW of course concurred). I would take it very amiss if DW inherited money and took herself off on a round the world floating coffin for a year.

If I get any more, I will keep it separate; probably establish a trust for the children.

Despite that, I see nothing wrong in taking a small proportion of the money and spending it on something fun, in the testator's memory.

Even if the account was made into a joint account, if the money was actually all the deceased's and the mil just added to help operate the account as grandma became more frail, the money will not automatically all pass to mil - certainly not if there was a will which didn't leave everything to the deceased's only child! As with houses, joint accounts can be held as joint tenants or tenants in common with different shares. It doesn't sound to me like the grandma intended her dd to inherit everything in the joint account to do with as she wanted.*

Almost all joint accounts are just simple joint accounts, and people often don't take advice when they are added to the account of a parent (I volunteer for CAB and we get too many people coming in because their housing benefit or another benefit has been stopped because of undeclared savings and it turns out it's a joint account with a parent).

Unless it was specifically set up with one account holder and no beneficial interest to the daughter it'll have gone to the MIL automatically. With the OP talking about her MIL already having the money and there being no probate it sounds very much like that was what happened.

It's a common problem and people don't realise that just because you think it's Mum/Dad/aunty Mary's money that it's legally yours and can be taken into account for benefits/divorce settlements/bankruptcy etc.

Scotland I believe so, England and Wales the picture is more complicated. The interests of the children are supposed to be the priority and if one party's kept aside inheritance is needed in order to house them, for example, it can be part of the settlement. Depends a lot on circumstances.

Looking on law firm websites, it's not always as simple as that - if all the money in the account was actually the grandmother's, with mil inly added to help manage it but not contribute to it, it can be contested that the money should not automatically pass by the rule of survivorship to the remaining account holder. There doesn't have to be anything in writing, as the facts speak for themselves. Basically, the whole thing sounds like a potentially nasty mess if the family fancy an argument about it! This may well be why the OP's dh is being cagey and wanting to go along with his mother - because that is the path of least resistance and he trusts her to pass some of the money on to him, more or less as his grandmother intended.