To not want a stranger asking my daughter if she thinks she's a boy

[moonmaker]

Really cross about this
My daughter is at an all girls secondary
She said they had an lgbt workshop at school yesterday but it was predominantly about gender identity .
Some of the things said were :
Are you sure you're a girl ?and why do you think you're a girl ?
You have a choice , you can choose to be male
Don't worry about your religion getting in the way , you can b x religion and trans
A good percentage of you , statistically speaking , are going to be trans
Being a boy / girl is a 'feeling ' so you can change

Am very unhappy about this. Why should 12 year old girls be forced to speak with a stranger about their sexual identity and orientation ? In dds words 'it was like he was forcing us to admit we are trans' 'I had to go along with it or get a detention'
Would it be acceptable for adults to be made to speak with someone they don't know or trust about something like this ?
I believe it's dangerous telling girls they can be men if they want to . And irresponsible .
We're supposed to be telling our young women that they can do anything as women, pursue whatever interests, hobbies or career and that makes them no less a woman . Wtf is going on ?
I want to call school today and discuss this . What should I say ?

I'd actually ask the school what was said n the workshop. From working with kids sometimes they all have different explanations of the same activity.
Also I’m sure the workshop is not brain washing, just there to help those children who may not be able to vocalise how they feel yet.
I’m surprised so many people get upset about trans youth, it’s not a ‘new’ thing or a ‘trend’ at all, from Native Americans believing there are 3 genders to a portrait in the national gallery of a man in the 1700s who passed as a women for years.
I understand people are scared of things they don’t understand but a only 1% of the UKs population is trans its not that scary and thy are not out to get you.

OP I think you're doing the right thing - if something has made you seriously angry then stopping for a moment to gather your thoughts before ringing up and letting loose is a good idea.

Amongst all the other good points that have been raised - I would be furious about students having to state their gender to the class - if they are questioning themselves then they don't want to be forced to say it out loud because somebody running a workshop told them to - they want to come out in their own time. Having to do it before they want to or even to do it and effectively lie and say they feel female when they are questioning themselves could cause all sorts of problems both now and further down the line, both internally and if there are any bullies that want to pick up on it. Or staff that take an extra close watch to make sure those kids are ok. Or if they want to change their minds or whatever.

You also referred to the person that ran the workshop as he. Not sure if it really was a he or you don't know or it was a typo and you meant she - but I would be really pissed off if the school got a man or trans individual in to run a delicate workshop like this in the first instance in a girls school.

A sikh girl stood up - actually stood up - and said that several of the statements made were offensive to her belief that god is genderless and creates the human body in perfect form - that is is wrong to change it in any way, she was told sit down and be quiet.

How can you make a complaint before you know who was running the workshop?

@bunbunny I would be really pissed off if the school got a man or trans individual in to run a delicate workshop like this in the first instance in a girls school.

I would expect Trans people to be in or giving a workshop about Transgender...

Gosh this is shocking:( Or May be it shouldn't be with the change to self Id.

Morgan it's not a question of "not understanding.". In fact it might help if you want to understand a different perspective to read some of the feminist threads here.

I don't want my children being told they are only male/female if they do stereotypical male/female things or that if they don't then it's due to being the wrong sex rather than societies screwed up thinking on gender!!

The ‘gender unicorn’ has (presumably unintentionally) strayed in parody.

Both my sons would be bemused if they were given a gender unicorn and asked to fill it in. Not because they’re ‘anti-trans’ or whatever; but because it’s a bloody unicorn. They’d be asking if it farts rainbows.

I actually had to google to check that the gender unicorn was not a very straight faced parody.

I would expect Trans people to be in or giving a workshop about Transgender...

If it had been supposed to be a workshop discussing gender, then a transman and a gender critical woman might have been the appropriate combination for a girls' school. As it was actually supposed to be an LGBT workshop one would have assumed it would focus more on sexual preference than 'gender', and that a lesbian or bisexual woman might be expected to lead it.

I understand people are scared of things they don’t understand

Good-oh, MorganKitten, explain to me why inner gender is more important than actual sex? To anyone but the individual concerned, I mean?

It’s very bad when a 12yo feels they can’t state a biological fact for fear of detention. Don’t blame them though.

YANBU. I’m pretty open minded but I think that is completely inappropriate

Is the gender unicorn related to the invisible pink one?

MorganKitten I realise we're on AIBU, not feminism, but you might want to catch us up a bit here.

Your assumption that we don't understand and are scared out of ignorance is wrong.

There's no such thing as a girlbrain or a boybrain. You can't identify as a thing that you are not.

@ErrolTheDragon: it probably is. And it almost certainly does fart rainbows.

The gender unicorn is a great example what happens when people who spend too much time on tumblr try to intervene in the real world.

And they don’t even realise that they’ve used a creature that doesn’t exist* to describe gender identity.

• of course, there is always the possibility that some of the people involved don’t realise or accept that unicorns do not exist.

Exactly MrsJosh, it is a very sad day, when the truth is silenced, its like a communist country, democracy is being eroded. Very worrying when a child cannot open a perfectly reasonable discussion at school. That is the worrying thing here. Gender is biologically based that is a fact, you are have an XY chromosomes so are Male, so are a boy, then a man, XX and are Female, a girl and a woman. Yes there are people that believe that they are born into the wrong body, they cannot identify with their biological sex, they can be who they feel comfortable being, they should not have to encounter any prejudice. But I hate this ramming it down people's throats, and trying to dispute fact. Anybody who dares dispute this, is a hater and is silenced.

The brainwashing by the transactivists, is penetrating schools and nurseries all over the country with their agenda. I hate the rigidity withing the 2 biological sexes, pink for girl, dresses, skirts, dolls, prams, kitchens, and boys, blue, trousers, shirts and cars and trucks. For example, I am happy being Female, don't want to change, but I like trousers, have short hair, and do sports that are considered masculine. According to transactivists I should be identifying as Male, and born in the wrong body, how sexist.

Do you know any of the parents of other girls in your DD's class OP? It may be worth broaching the topic with them to see if they have heard anything too.

I'd also approach this in the school from the direction that DD has been telling you things that seem a bit extreme, and you're sure they wouldn't have been saying such silly things, so could they please reassure you and share the materials so you can discuss them with her as she seems to have gotten the wrong end of the stick.

I think if I really wanted to trivialise something, I’d decide to turn it into a purple cartoon unicorn.

It would also have the added advantage of making the people I was trying to explain the thing to fe utterly patronised.

I’m not sure I can think of a worse way of approaching anything. Especially if it was something I felt was important.

Imagine if the chancellor got a purple unicorn dreaming of rainbows out to explain the budget...

How can you make a complaint before you know who was running the workshop?

Surely, it doesn't matter who ran the workshop - the school have invited whoever it was to do, the buck therefore stops with the school.

And no, OP, YANBU - the whole thing is ludicrous. Is someone now going to rewrite the Famous Five so that George transitions?

I fully support everyone being given full respect whatever their creed, colour, gender, sexuality, religion. I do not support lesbians being told that they should in fact be men and women (like me) who work in a male dominated environment, have short hair and play masculine sports that they are really men and are obviously very confused. Surely this is taking us back decades where we all have to conform to a gender stereotype? ARGGGHHHH.