To not want a stranger asking my daughter if she thinks she's a boy

[moonmaker]

Really cross about this
My daughter is at an all girls secondary
She said they had an lgbt workshop at school yesterday but it was predominantly about gender identity .
Some of the things said were :
Are you sure you're a girl ?and why do you think you're a girl ?
You have a choice , you can choose to be male
Don't worry about your religion getting in the way , you can b x religion and trans
A good percentage of you , statistically speaking , are going to be trans
Being a boy / girl is a 'feeling ' so you can change

Am very unhappy about this. Why should 12 year old girls be forced to speak with a stranger about their sexual identity and orientation ? In dds words 'it was like he was forcing us to admit we are trans' 'I had to go along with it or get a detention'
Would it be acceptable for adults to be made to speak with someone they don't know or trust about something like this ?
I believe it's dangerous telling girls they can be men if they want to . And irresponsible .
We're supposed to be telling our young women that they can do anything as women, pursue whatever interests, hobbies or career and that makes them no less a woman . Wtf is going on ?
I want to call school today and discuss this . What should I say ?

Who ran that workshop, sarah?

Worra the purpose of the workshop would be to get rid of the taboo around being transgender. In doing that they have created a taboo around gender criticism . Isn't that fairly clear ?

Why don't you buy that there was no written correspondence Bertrand? I've checked my email over and over as I receive emailed copies of everything . I've just asked another parent if she knew about this prior to it and she confirmed she hadn't .

Am not ringing the office just yet . Going over the transgender guidance for schools that some have linked to here . It's very useful - thank you . Am going to do my homework before I put in a complaint .

moonmaker
Worra the purpose of the workshop would be to get rid of the taboo around being transgender. In doing that they have created a taboo around gender criticism . Isn't that fairly clear ?

Until you have talked to the school, established the service provider, materials used etc, you are not in a position to make that assertion.

Good luck moonmaker Your DD sounds like a lovely young person and it's good to see her questioning things.

This is a cult. Ask the school whether they would be happy with you doing a Scientology workshop. I find this new adult focus on children ‘s sexuality and “identity” frankly creepy and sinister. In my life so far, I have met two trans people, one of whom is a teenage boy locally. I am in my early 50s. So to tell a class of girls that some of them must be trans, and that being a girl is a “ feeling” is manipulation, deceit and deeply suspect. Why are school promoting this agenda?

Sarahjconnor good for your ds! Brave of him to argue like that.

YANBU. Complain to the school in the strongest possible terms.

See I don't believe she would end up in detention for politely discussing the subject of the workshop, do you OP?

I don’t know. Schools can be pretty judgemental. DS says they’re not allowed to discuss religion at his school.

There is a huge difference between the majority of genuine trans people and this current wave of cultish transactivists a lot of whom are not even trans.

This activism has very little to do with trans rights (which I am all in favour of) and everything to do with converting children to a cult and erasing women.

THIS is why there are so many trans threads on MN. It is not transpeople we have an issue with, it is about a wave of activism which tells lesbians they are transphobic if they don't want to date people with penises, which tells people (and children) that you can change sex and advocates putting children on dangerous hormones without parental consent or knowledge and that wishes to remove spaces which are segregated by sex such as DV refuges and rape crisis centres.

These the issues a large portion of MN are up in arms about. Rightly so.

DS says they’re not allowed to discuss religion at his school.

During a religious workshop?

It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if a pupil got detention for expressing an embarrassingly direct view to a guest speaker. Son of a colleague of mine got a school prize (not for RE), chose The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. This was a community comprehensive school, not even a church school. On prizegiving day the prizes were being given out by the local vicar. School refused to put TGD in the pile in case it offended the vicar.

Have a look on the school twitter/fb/website to see if there's any mention of it, also if they put letters home on the website

OP, I find it very strange that your first reaction was not to phone the school office and ask who ran the workshop so you could have a look at their website and see what you're up against. Isn't that what most people would do? Did your dd not come home with any handouts, OP? That's quite unusual too.

If it was part of a PHSE day, there probably wouldn't have been a letter home.

I doubt the OPs DD would have got a detention, but she'd have been at risk of subsequently being labelled 'transphobic' and been open to bullying.

Bertrand that was indeed my first reaction .
I was ready to call at 8.30 this morning when they open up the line.
I'm taking a step back for now .
I am dying to call and ask them but don't want it to turn confrontational .
I'm just mulling over it .
Sorry if you find that bizarre but people have different ways of doing things.
Watch his space !

I would be writing a very strongly worded complaint and I would also tell your daughter to speak out next time. Detention isn't the end of the world. It will help her feel more confident to stand up to this kind of thing is she knows that you have her back detentions aside.

That's deplorable, I would be ringing the school, how dare they subject your child to this sort of thing without any permission being sought, Its not on!

I would ask to go in and speak about it but I think it’s highly unlikely that it was presented in the way your dd describes so I wouldn’t embarrass yourself going in all guns blazing. Clearly you feel strongly about the issue and I wouldn’t be surprised if your dd was looking for a bit of a reaction from you tbh.

The world has gone mad.

Pork why is it highly unlikely ? The last thing my dd ever wants is my involvement in anything , like a typical teen !
One of the activities they had to do that she was put in charge of was recording on the board each individuals 'gender'. Each girl had to state whether they were a girl, boy or other . There were three columns and she had to write each name where each person thought they belonged . I can't see how she would have made this up . my 12 yo hasn't read up on TRA. She also couldn't have made up 'being a girl is a feeling'.

Bloody hell.
This is something else.

Also re not getting letters about this kind of thing - we get a blanket letter and contract to sign at the start of the year allowing our children to be present at different talks.

OP who is the school run by? Is it an academy?

This seems like a prime spot to leave a link to this petition about self ID
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/214118 - we need to have a conversation.

Anyone who thinks that this isn’t been taught in schools and that children are not allowed to express a dissenting view clearly hasn’t spent much time in school recently, especially if your school is a Stonewall school. My school’s LGBT society runs at least two assemblies a year saying exactly the above, plus internal speakers, ply PHSE lessons. And if you think it’s easy in that atmosphere to put up your hand and disagree, you have no memory of being an adolescent.