To not want a stranger asking my daughter if she thinks she's a boy

[moonmaker]

Really cross about this
My daughter is at an all girls secondary
She said they had an lgbt workshop at school yesterday but it was predominantly about gender identity .
Some of the things said were :
Are you sure you're a girl ?and why do you think you're a girl ?
You have a choice , you can choose to be male
Don't worry about your religion getting in the way , you can b x religion and trans
A good percentage of you , statistically speaking , are going to be trans
Being a boy / girl is a 'feeling ' so you can change

Am very unhappy about this. Why should 12 year old girls be forced to speak with a stranger about their sexual identity and orientation ? In dds words 'it was like he was forcing us to admit we are trans' 'I had to go along with it or get a detention'
Would it be acceptable for adults to be made to speak with someone they don't know or trust about something like this ?
I believe it's dangerous telling girls they can be men if they want to . And irresponsible .
We're supposed to be telling our young women that they can do anything as women, pursue whatever interests, hobbies or career and that makes them no less a woman . Wtf is going on ?
I want to call school today and discuss this . What should I say ?

I think it’s highly unlikely that it was presented in the way your dd describes

But, unless you're calling the girl a liar, she described her perception of the event. If it was all really hunky dory, and the person leading the session would have welcomed questions and accepted alternative viewpoints, then surely they would welcome feedback which showed them where they were getting their tone wrong so they could improve?

Sorry for typos - big fingers, small phone.

What cause would a 12 year old girl have to lie about this?

If children are being “re-educated” by the schools on bathroom and charging room policies, why wouldn’t a group dedicated to this cause do exactly this?

Well it depends whether you feel the intention of the workshop was to recruit as many children as possible to identify as the opposite sex or whether it’s intention was to educate and prevent bullying. I think the latter is more likely and your dd knows your feelings and is telling you what she knows you want to hear.
Do you really think some children are going to want to change sex due to someone telling them they can?

Pork of course they would, children at this age are entirely vulnerable to suggestion.

Do we really think that children are susceptible to peer pressure, often adolescents hate their changing bodies, that trans-Ing is very fashionable and hot topic right now, and much more socially acceptable than being gay?

Well, I do.

Pork you certainly don't know my dd if you think she's telling me what I want to hear . She's probably the last person on earth to do that 😂

no sorry - thats too much. I would speak to the school about it.

So kids need to be protected from knowing trans people exist in case they want to jump on the fashionable bandwagon? I suppose we should pretend gay and bi people don’t exist either as that has also been accused of being fashionable for teens.
Maybe just speak to your child yourself about how some people desperately feel they are the opposite sex and it isn’t a fashion statement.

I would have been absolutely furious!

This happened at ds school and he was also given a ‘gender unicorn’ to help him decide his gender

WTF ?

I honestly despair when I read things like this.

Here's a graph showing the number of referrals to the Tavistock for children wishing to transition.

Yes, if only we could just all do that, Pork - I totally agree with you. Unfortunately it is actually been taught in schools by people with an agenda that goes way beyond simply informing kids about gender dysphoria.

no pork children need to be left to make up their own minds not have it shoved down their throat!

The difference is, if a young person decides they are gay and then later changes their mind it doesn't cause any issues.

If they decide they are trans and start drugs or surgery it causes huge issues if they later change their mind (which most do)

Also, a lot of gay children are being pressured to transition when they are gay, not trans. A bit like in Iran...

There's a world of difference between teaching children that trans people exist and deserve respect and teaching them that if they don't conform to stereotypes they are trans and can change sex.

Define trans people, Pork?

It's easy to define gay and bi (or it was, before gendermuddle came into the equation) as same-sex and both-sex attracted, but what does trans cover, in your view?

Am not ringing the office just yet . Going over the transgender guidance for schools that some have linked to here . It's very useful - thank you . Am going to do my homework before I put in a complaint

Why would you be phoning up to make a complaint before you knew what the workshop was though? I would be phoning to make further inquiries, not automatically to complain?

It’s about perspective. I imagine the unicorn is to look at he difference between gender and sex and children label where they feel they fit. Some clearly see it as a choose your identity catalogue.
I don’t think that keeping information from children is ever good be that about other sexualities or religions or anything. Some people withdraw their children from RE because they feel they will be converted. I’d rather my kids have as much info as possible to make their minds up about things. I’ve read nothing to suggest children are pressured into feeling one way or the other.
Anyway no point in arguing on here as every other thread shows where the more vocal opinions lie.

Agree totally Nowt.

I always remember when a Christian group came in to do a days workshop with my year group when we were about 13. They did this thing where you had to ask a question about Christianity or something, (I’m an atheist but I wanted to stir the pot s Bit) and my question was ‘why can’t god be a she?’ Or something to that effect. My classmates were all bizarrely incandescent with rage! I didn’t even go to a religious school, it was all very strange

I also was the only person to admit I didn’t believe in god and everyone looked at me like I had two heads. I was totally shocked tbh.

Absolutely Laguna. Complaining without actually finding out what the content was just goes to show that ANY discussion of the issue is inappropriate in the eyes of the op.

The thing I have an issue with is we are being told that trans children are ‘confused’ no they are not. Every trans person I know has after a brief period of confusion figured their particular for want of a better word issue out for themselves. Children don’t need assemblies to ask them if they are confused about their gender identity. They do need assemblies to help them to learn to respect people’s rights to choose their own gender identity etc etc

moonmaker
I was ready to call at 8.30 this morning when they open up the line.
I'm taking a step back for now .
I am dying to call and ask them but don't want it to turn confrontational .
I'm just mulling over it .

You obviously feel very strongly about what might have happened, but without establishing the facts from the school.

What can you lose by making an initial call to the school to find out the name of the organisation who provided the workshop, and the resources they used? Or by speaking to the teacher who supervised the class? None of that requires confrontation - it's a basic first step for anything that might be an issue with the school, surely? Once you're sure of the facts, you can decide to take it further.

Shania one of the things I find most bizarre is that people really don’t remember how easily embarrassed teenagers are and how difficult they find it to deal with a view that’s actually different to the norm - they have a perception as rebels but they only ever rebel en masse...

I agree about getting some more information from the school first even though I 100% believe that it happened exactly as she says. Ask for the name of the organisation concerned and see if they have a website. Get all information you can first.

Absolutely Nowt. And I finished my A levels in 2010 to put that in perspective. It wasn’t that long ago, I doubt kids have changed THAT much

I think the Maths department might have something to say about "a good percentage" as well.