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Original poster

Fake engagement ring

518 replies

Poppy1324 · 27/03/2018 13:53

I got engaged 2 years ago and married a year ago, my engagement ring is huge, very eye catching and gets lots of attention. A few people have commented about how much it must have cost and people have said it’s 2 carat at least, my husband has always said it is a diamond and made comments about how much it set him back.

Several people have said it’s worth a fortune and I’ll have to get it insured, my husband agreed and said he’ll have to do it and he will give receipt to insurance so I don’t see how much he spent. A few weeks ago someone said it must be 15-20k worth of diamond! Now we don’t have that kind of money so I assumed they must be mistaken and put it out of my mind, then last weekend I was at a dinner and a friends husband who’s a jeweller noticed the ring made a huge fuss of it,his wife compared her ring which was half the size and then they chatted quietly to each other looking at the 2 rings and looked at me with what I can only describe as mixture of sympathy and confusion as they gave it back.

I probably shouldn’t have done this but it’s been playing on my mind, I know the name of the store so I just looked it up, found the exact ring and it’s cubic zirconia, it’s still lovely and it is expensive although obviously not 15k expensive.

I don’t have expensive things, never have, it’s always made me cringe the thought he has spent so much on a ring, it felt wrong when we have struggled for money and we have friends and family around us struggling to make ends meet. Although I was obviously happy to be engaged I’m not really the attention seeking type and I’ve always felt embarrassed at the huge amount of attention this ring gets.

I feel a bit uncomfortable now wearing a massive flashy attention seeking fake ring and pretending it’s a diamond, I don’t know much about diamonds, obviously! However other people do and I feel a bit embarrassed to wear it now I know.

I don’t know how much my husband knows about jewellery, perhaps he saw it was sparkly and assumed it was a diamond or more likely he has lied about it this whole time. I have happily worn it for 2 years and I don’t want to upset him or be ungrateful for what is still a lovely and expensive ring.

Do I ask him about it or just carry on wearing it, the majority of people won’t examine it and I’d guess most wont realise so does it really matter anyway.

OP posts:
VileyRose · 27/03/2018 13:56

I don't think it matters. If it looks real that's awesome! My rings just pure oak!

ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 27/03/2018 13:59

Hmmm... this is awkward.
I guess it depends on whether he knows it’s ‘fake’ and not diamond. He probably doesn’t know and has spent a fair bit of money on it still.
Do you have a lovely wedding ring? Was he stingy about the price of wedding rings or not?
Maybe you could just wear your wedding ring? X

PinkHeart5914 · 27/03/2018 13:59

It really doesn’t matter most people won’t ever get close enough to your ring to know if it’s a real diamond or not and the average person wouldn’t tell if it was real or not anyway

You like the ring, you’ve been happily wearing the ring so carry on!

MimiSunshine · 27/03/2018 14:03

The chances are that he didn’t necessarily know that it’s a ‘fake’ because it’s not as such.
He bought a ring that he liked, thought you would like as and you say was still expensive.

Not everyone knows about jewellery and gemstones.
My boyfriend bought me a piece once which appeared to have a diamond in but the size of it made me think it wasn’t an actual diamond.

When I found the receipt (genuinely found it by accident) it said on it ‘white gold and cubic zirconia’ and cost quite a bit more than our present budget so I’m sure my boyfriend thought it was an expensive piece

Mightymucks · 27/03/2018 14:03

As long as you like it that’s all that matters. The jeweller was rude and should not have done that with the rings.

Trinity66 · 27/03/2018 14:05

The fact that he wanted to value it himself would suggest to me that he probably did know tbf, I'm pretty sure if he went looking for engagement rings the person in the shop would tell him which were diamonds and which were not?

Gromance02 · 27/03/2018 14:06

I would want to know. When I was looking at rings, I wanted to get the balance between a decent size without looking fake by being too big. Mine was around £2.5k and is 0.5 carat.

MaxPepsi · 27/03/2018 14:07

Someone: what a lovely ring.

You: thank you, I love it. My husband chose it for me.

That's all you need to say.

BoredOnMatLeave · 27/03/2018 14:08

If you love it I would try and not worry about it but I would be annoyed if he has been lying this whole time, and I would assume he had because surely he would know what he paid is no-one near the cost of a real one of that size.

AmethystRaven · 27/03/2018 14:09

Could you say something like 'would you believe it DH, I just had my engagement ring pop up in one of those ad banners, I'm quite relieved it's not an actual diamond as I've always worried it was far too expensive!' Then if people comment on the ring in general just say thanks and if they start mentioning diamonds just say it's not an actual diamond you just both liked it.' I wouldn't worry - the gesture and the relationship is more important than the actual gem!

MaMisled · 27/03/2018 14:09

Firstly, I think you know some very rude people! To speculate on the cost of your ring was incredibly tacky of them! Personally I'd forget about this and get on with your life.

kubex · 27/03/2018 14:12

It's not a fake engagement ring, it's just not a diamond engagement ring.

If you like the ring, why do you care how much it costs/what stone it is?

BoredOnMatLeave · 27/03/2018 14:12

Oh I would tell him you know its not real (in a nice way), just so he stops going on about it being real and costing loads as that's a little embarrassing.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 27/03/2018 14:12

What Max Pepsi said. If anyone pushes you, you can honestly say you don't know much about jewellery, you're not fussed as long as you like the piece but you know it was the best he could find, you feel lucky and spoilt and the ring is obviously v precious and of great value to you.

Karigan1 · 27/03/2018 14:14

Do you like it? If so just smile and say it’s not that expensive really but i like it when people comment. It’s a symbol of love between you and DP and that’s what matters

SheSaidNoFuckThat · 27/03/2018 14:15

My ring is not diamonds, it wasn't expensive, but I love it and that's all that matters - other people's opinions do not matter. Surely it's the meaning of the ring that is more important than the price tag?

Bluelady · 27/03/2018 14:15

Wear it, enjoy it and forget about the incredibly rude jeweller and his wife. My diamond is tiny. I love it.

ballerini · 27/03/2018 14:16

The fact he told you it was a diamond and he comments on how much it set him back is awful.
I'd feel really hurt that he'd deceived me this way. I don't see how this could be a mistake considering the price difference between that and a diamond the same size!
I would definitely mention it to him and see what he says. I don't see why you wouldn't say anything - he is your DH.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 27/03/2018 14:16

Why would you think it was fake?

Just because a engagement ring is not diamond it doesn’t mean it’s fake.

That jeweller is incredibly incredibly rude

OptimisticHamster · 27/03/2018 14:16

If you like it, carry on as you were. If you would feel more comfortable with a smaller one, then perhaps gently bring it up and see what he says.

KC225 · 27/03/2018 14:17

Does it matter? If you love the ring? If you enjoy wearing it. I would think it amusing and agree with the up thread poster that commenting on the price is vulgar.

I have a whacking big semi precious stone, it could take an eye out. It didn't cost more than 300. I don't love diamonds but would love a tanzanite but they are so rare and hideously expensive

MsHarry · 27/03/2018 14:17

He should have just told the truth because now he's made you look a bit naive. Mines over 20 years old, is a mere 1/3 of a carat but I know it's real.

happynapper99 · 27/03/2018 14:18

I have some stinking big, real rings that I've inherited and wear with pride. However they are too precious and expensive to take on holiday so I have a nice range of 'non-real diamond' jewellery that looks real and because I normally wear real stuff, no one ever questions it.

If you love the ring, don't worry about what other people think.

Trinity66 · 27/03/2018 14:18

The fact he told you it was a diamond and he comments on how much it set him back is awful.
I'd feel really hurt that he'd deceived me this way. I don't see how this could be a mistake considering the price difference between that and a diamond the same size!
I would definitely mention it to him and see what he says. I don't see why you wouldn't say anything - he is your DH.

Yeah this is what would annoy me, I'm certainly not saying that a ring has to be a diamond to be a real engagement ring

Nocabbageinmyeye · 27/03/2018 14:18

Well by the sounds of it it must be massive altogether for people to not just notice but to comment too so for that reason alone there is no way he did not know, it's impossible nobody is stupid enough to think they are getting a massive diamond for cubic zirconia prices, no matter how little you know about diamonds. And obviously you go to a reputable jewellers anyway so no way he didn't know and for that reason alone I would be super pissed off. I would actually have no problem wearing a cubic zirconia for my engagement ring but I would feel like a fool not being told and like I was trying to pass off something I wasn't