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Original poster

Fake engagement ring

518 replies

Poppy1324 · 27/03/2018 13:53

I got engaged 2 years ago and married a year ago, my engagement ring is huge, very eye catching and gets lots of attention. A few people have commented about how much it must have cost and people have said it’s 2 carat at least, my husband has always said it is a diamond and made comments about how much it set him back.

Several people have said it’s worth a fortune and I’ll have to get it insured, my husband agreed and said he’ll have to do it and he will give receipt to insurance so I don’t see how much he spent. A few weeks ago someone said it must be 15-20k worth of diamond! Now we don’t have that kind of money so I assumed they must be mistaken and put it out of my mind, then last weekend I was at a dinner and a friends husband who’s a jeweller noticed the ring made a huge fuss of it,his wife compared her ring which was half the size and then they chatted quietly to each other looking at the 2 rings and looked at me with what I can only describe as mixture of sympathy and confusion as they gave it back.

I probably shouldn’t have done this but it’s been playing on my mind, I know the name of the store so I just looked it up, found the exact ring and it’s cubic zirconia, it’s still lovely and it is expensive although obviously not 15k expensive.

I don’t have expensive things, never have, it’s always made me cringe the thought he has spent so much on a ring, it felt wrong when we have struggled for money and we have friends and family around us struggling to make ends meet. Although I was obviously happy to be engaged I’m not really the attention seeking type and I’ve always felt embarrassed at the huge amount of attention this ring gets.

I feel a bit uncomfortable now wearing a massive flashy attention seeking fake ring and pretending it’s a diamond, I don’t know much about diamonds, obviously! However other people do and I feel a bit embarrassed to wear it now I know.

I don’t know how much my husband knows about jewellery, perhaps he saw it was sparkly and assumed it was a diamond or more likely he has lied about it this whole time. I have happily worn it for 2 years and I don’t want to upset him or be ungrateful for what is still a lovely and expensive ring.

Do I ask him about it or just carry on wearing it, the majority of people won’t examine it and I’d guess most wont realise so does it really matter anyway.

OP posts:
TheFirstMrsOsmond · 27/03/2018 14:40

My only concern would be that your husband was not sold the ring under false pretences ie that he was made aware by the vendor that it was cubic zirconia not a diamond. If it was represented to be a diamond, that is a serious case of mis-selling.

Apart from that there is no issue - if you love your ring, continue to wear it and enjoy it.

Bloomed · 27/03/2018 14:41

"Several people have said it’s worth a fortune and I’ll have to get it insured, my husband agreed and said he’ll have to do it and he will give receipt to insurance so I don’t see how much he spent." So he's going along with it being hugely valuable. I wouldn't like that at all.

Olddear · 27/03/2018 14:43

Of course, the simple answer is to take it to a jeweller yourself....

Imsosceptical · 27/03/2018 14:43

I think you are over reacting and forgetting the essence in which you were given the ring. I actually have a spectacular trio of engagement, wedding and eternity ring (push present!) worth a fortune (to us) but I have since contracted servered dermatitis and eczema on my hands and have not been able to wear any of them for the last few years even though they are platinum and apparently this shouldn’t cause my skin disorders, I’m totally totally gutted but nevertheless, the intention behind my receiving them is special and treasured and that’s all that matters to me, would get a massive WOW response if I could wear them, but unfortunately theyre just for me to love and treasure!! First world problems at the end of the day xxx

ToastyFingers · 27/03/2018 14:43

I'd be embarrassed about his lie, and his shady business with the receipt and insurance.

I'd also feel a fool for saying it was a diamond, to all the people who'd asked.

If he isn't usually a liar, then I think I'd let it go, but if this is part of a bigger thing, where he often lies and takes you for a fool, then I'd have a serious think about the relationship.

TheJoyOfSox · 27/03/2018 14:44

At least you now know you married a liar!

My engagement ring has a cz, I chose it because I liked the design. It’s nit a fake engagement ring, it’s very real, only difference is my DH didn’t lie and say it was worth £10k

MerryShitmas · 27/03/2018 14:45

I would be gutted - not about the ring (my engagement ring was a £29.99 cubic zirconia from Argos! Grin ) but because he's lied and obviously kept the lie going, especially by saying he'd sort the receipt for the insurance and so on. I'd be very upset by the dishonesty.

HappyFeet1212 · 27/03/2018 14:46

The only issue here is that he lied to you. It suggests aggrandisement on his part. That's very un-appealing.

You could just wait until another occasion when someone spots it & then very openly admit (in front of him) that it's not a diamond & then refer to the origin of the tradition of diamond engagement rings from here.

blog.hubspot.com/marketing/diamond-de-beers-marketing-campaign

You could also argue that the issue of conflict diamonds is a concern & that whilst you were initially hurt that it wasn't a diamond, now you are proud to wear something that has not caused harm by it's production thereby making the conversation uncomfortable for everyone, not just you!

Flingleflooooooooo · 27/03/2018 14:47

I'd be tempted to 'lose' it for a day or 2 and see what his reaction was.

KirstenRaymonde · 27/03/2018 14:47

It doesn’t matter that it’s no a diamond, it matters that he lied and made a big show and dance about the cost and continues to do so, leading you to be embarrassed in public.

SusanBunch · 27/03/2018 14:52

Tbh it's really hard to tell the difference between CZ and diamonds. You said it's still an expensive ring, so maybe your husband thought it was a real diamond.

Any friend who takes your ring off you and then gives it back with a sad, sympathetic look is a bit of a dick to be fair.

Emmafh3 · 27/03/2018 14:53

It's a ring. It's yours. Who cares what anybody else thinks to it?

I lost my very very expensive gold ring with real diamonds when I was pregnant - spent over a year looking for it in the house. Got a replacement ring that cost £50 - you couldn't tell the difference unless you were a jeweller but nobody else knows that. Now that you do, do you care if my ring is real diamond or fake?

Trinity66 · 27/03/2018 14:53

*At least you now know you married a liar!

My engagement ring has a cz, I chose it because I liked the design. It’s nit a fake engagement ring, it’s very real, only difference is my DH didn’t lie and say it was worth £10k*

Well yes exactly, I don't think anyone in here is saying Oh if it isn't a Diamond it's not really an engagement ring and to those saying Oh what does it matter if you love it etc etc, that's not even the issue, the issue is the DH lying to her and making her feel like an idiot

EweDoEwe · 27/03/2018 14:54

HappyFeet if I said to someone “wow what a fabulous diamond” and they launched into that monologue, to make me feel deliberately uncomfortable, as you’ve suggested, I’d back away slowly and avoid them as much as possible in future.

BrendasUmbrella · 27/03/2018 14:57

Do you love it? If so carry on and just tell people it's fake when they ask.

If it makes you feel uncomfortable, get something more discreet. It all comes down to your feelings.

As to whether he lied or thinks it's real, you know him. Is he generally a bit dim, or generally a bit of a bullshitter? Or both?

shirt · 27/03/2018 14:58

It is your engagement ring.

It is not a fake engagement ring. Unless your engagement is fake?

Just enjoy it!

TheFirstMrsOsmond · 27/03/2018 15:01

If you are going to buy a diamond you really need to do your homework about colour/cut/clarity etc or it is very easy to pay more than you should. My DH did several months of research plus browsing in shops before eventually we went together to choose

JaneEyre70 · 27/03/2018 15:02

I actually lost a very valuable diamond out of my engagement ring on a camping trip - to say I was heartbroken was an understatement. When it was sent off under insurance, another diamond of similar value was put back in - but it no longer felt like my ring as it wasn't the one DH had originally given me. I didn't wear it for a long long time.

Whatever the value or what he's trying to pass it off as, it's still the ring he chose for you and for me, that would be enough.

Bluntness100 · 27/03/2018 15:02

I'd be embarrassed by this too. Not the fact it's fake as such, but the fact he has been trying to play something as important as this off as a real diamond to you. I'd also be embarrassed if I was telling folks it was real because of his lie.

How much did it cost? I don't know what you mean by it was expensive, but he'd have to truly have grown up under a rock to think he was getting 20k worth of diamond for what he paid, unless it's some designer piece that really was expensive?

I'd have assumed when he was buying it, he also looked at real diamonds so knew the price comparison, and in addition, if he was having it insured he does have to know what level you call it out seperately to the insurer.

So I suspect he knows, but he probably thought it was a good idea at the time, and then didn't know how to break it to you. Or he is a twat and wanted to tell you it was real to be flash thinking you'd never know.

BlancheM · 27/03/2018 15:09

I'd have been embarrassed regardless of the stone, at the jeweller and his wife comparing your ring to hers and speaking about it in hushed tones- wtf is wrong with them?!

Bluelady · 27/03/2018 15:12

I'm going with getting carried away with initially not wanting to tell you and then it getting harder to do so as time's gone on. I like the idea of "losing" it and seeing what the reaction is!

CakeOfThePan · 27/03/2018 15:14

I know a girl who has a non diamond engagement ring, she tells everyone it’s real. Im pretty sure she knows it’s not a diamond but I wouldn’t dream of telling her. It’s crass and rude to suggest it.
I wear a non diamond ring, people think it’s a diamond so I correct them.
I think if you love it (as I do mine) I just say ‘it’s gorgeous isn’t it but it’s cubic’
Or you could make up a Stone name like they do on the shopping channel. Love it for what it is not what it’s not.

NanooCov · 27/03/2018 15:14

If you like the ring then don't worry about what anyone else thinks. However I would be concerned that either your husband has been duped and thought he was getting a diamond not a CZ (unlikely) or he has been lying to you (more likely and more concerning).

aurora2018 · 27/03/2018 15:15

My engagement ring is pretty big, 3 stones, people always comment on it but it's cubic zirconia too, I couldn't care less, and I think you have some rude friends, but id be worried OH doesn't know and has been conned!

MrsEricBana · 27/03/2018 15:15

The jeweller was incredibly rude.
I don't think your dh should have lied, if he did, but it's possible that when he saw how much even a tiny diamond costs he may just have wanted to get you the best possible sparkly ring he could. He's probably mortified and worried about being rumbled. I think just ask him and see what he says.