Fake engagement ring

[Poppy1324]

I got engaged 2 years ago and married a year ago, my engagement ring is huge, very eye catching and gets lots of attention. A few people have commented about how much it must have cost and people have said it’s 2 carat at least, my husband has always said it is a diamond and made comments about how much it set him back.

Several people have said it’s worth a fortune and I’ll have to get it insured, my husband agreed and said he’ll have to do it and he will give receipt to insurance so I don’t see how much he spent. A few weeks ago someone said it must be 15-20k worth of diamond! Now we don’t have that kind of money so I assumed they must be mistaken and put it out of my mind, then last weekend I was at a dinner and a friends husband who’s a jeweller noticed the ring made a huge fuss of it,his wife compared her ring which was half the size and then they chatted quietly to each other looking at the 2 rings and looked at me with what I can only describe as mixture of sympathy and confusion as they gave it back.

I probably shouldn’t have done this but it’s been playing on my mind, I know the name of the store so I just looked it up, found the exact ring and it’s cubic zirconia, it’s still lovely and it is expensive although obviously not 15k expensive.

I don’t have expensive things, never have, it’s always made me cringe the thought he has spent so much on a ring, it felt wrong when we have struggled for money and we have friends and family around us struggling to make ends meet. Although I was obviously happy to be engaged I’m not really the attention seeking type and I’ve always felt embarrassed at the huge amount of attention this ring gets.

I feel a bit uncomfortable now wearing a massive flashy attention seeking fake ring and pretending it’s a diamond, I don’t know much about diamonds, obviously! However other people do and I feel a bit embarrassed to wear it now I know.

I don’t know how much my husband knows about jewellery, perhaps he saw it was sparkly and assumed it was a diamond or more likely he has lied about it this whole time. I have happily worn it for 2 years and I don’t want to upset him or be ungrateful for what is still a lovely and expensive ring.

Do I ask him about it or just carry on wearing it, the majority of people won’t examine it and I’d guess most wont realise so does it really matter anyway.

The point is not that it's cz, it's that he purposely misled you. Many of us have smaller rings for many reasons from frugality to lack of funds. I couldn't see spending money for a ring that could be used for a house.

I felt fairly bad (years later) when the school mothers seemed to equate size/price to how much my husband loved me or.their husbands loved them more bc of their large rings. I know he loves me and sooo I had many talks to myself reminding myself they were wrong. I'm still married. Most of them are not, at least to the same one.

Your issue is his honesty, Not his love. Also, the point that you felt badly bc it was so large vs your family's finances seems tone deaf. Is he a little unselfconfident?

Best wishes OP, you seem kind and sensitive. I hope that this was just him feeling pressured by social peers or wanting to impress YOU. If He did it to impress the world at his largess, there will be other clues and they are probably unfortunately obvious and uncomfortable.

P.s. you are NOT the only person this happened to; men need to realize that it's genuine love not money that's important, unfortunately, our men are under tremendous pressure under difficult circumstances now.

This is why I've stopped watching Loose Women. Glossing over subjects and the "men eh? what can you do? Bless them for trying, let's laugh affectionally at how useless they are at things " attitude.

Pumpkinbell if you found out that the Nirobian Tanzanite ring that you got on that romantic African tour (and brag about) was in fact something he picked up in Argos and brought it in his suitcase to Africa and lied to you about it, you wouldn't give a shit yeah? Even when your best mate knew all along it was an Argos ring?

I'm wearing an engagement ring that was the same price as our month's rent on the tiny apartment we had at the time. My eternity ring is a CZ one for £3 off Wish. My wedding ring I got free.

It's not the ring. Or whether its a fucking diamond or not.

It's the lies.

It's the lie when he's bragged to all and sundry that it cost him a fortune and that his wife is 'worth it' every time someone admired it. It's the lies he told when she wanted it insured for safety. It's the fact that she didn't want a big flashy ring in the first place, but he overrode her wishes.

If he can lie that easily and consistently to her face, to her friends and family over a bit of metal and stone, she's only human to wonder what other lies trip easily off his tongue.

"Well my dear husband bought a packet of cheese and onion Hula Hoops and proposed to me with one of those in 1998 in the Mahalangur Himalayan mountains.
I still wear it now, I treasure it because he chose it all by himself and of course I'm not a grabby person. I'm just grateful he wanted to marry me!"

Can people stop posting irrelevant drivel like this please.

I’ve never got the thing with diamonds, especially since I found out about how corrupt and cruel the mining trade is. If it’s pretty and you like it, it doesn’t matter what it’s made of. Your husband chose that for you knowing you’d like its style.

Do people even read before they comment? OP has already said that big and flashy isn't her style.

Your husband chose that for you knowing you’d like its style.

?????????????????????????!!!!

Really?
Have you read more than the first sentence of the OP

FFS, does anyone actually RTFT before posting?

Evidently not.

Well said OhCalamity!

I can't believe how many smug "my ring only cost 25p but I love it because of what it represents" posters there are on here!

The OP DIDN'T care about the bloody VALUE of it ... IT'S THE LIE!!!! Her ring represents an initial and repeated lie!!

And now, our lovely OP, who was going to update after the weekend has deleted her account because of the utter scumbag media, even an Aussie outlet is repeating it.

I know imo journalists don't really tend to have a moral compass like everyone else but the thought of those cockroaches sitting on a forum like this scouring it to see who's got the juiciest problem makes my stomach turn - really - who would be that disgusting and evil???

Yes I would be upset. For the one thing he bought you a big flashy ring and completely ignored your taste. Then he spent the time telling people how expensive it was. Bragging and making you feel uncomfortable. After all that you find out it's fake!!! I would be given him hell. His made himself look like an idiot. I would tell him exactly what happened and ask him why he lied. I married over 20 years i picked out my own engagement ring, It was 3 small diamonds. My taste has changed over the years so i have a cz solitaire now, It was about 300 quid. If anyone compliments it i tell them Its a dress ring .

Your husband chose that for you knowing you’d like its style.

Er, no, OP clearly said he didn't get the style she said she liked.

Dear,
a 2 carat real diamond would cost a lot more than 20k if it is of a decent colour class, hence it's purity.
But this has nothing to do with what the ring means to you anyway.
However your husband could have been more transparent with you for a number of reasons including that, wearing an eye-catching fake ring, can expose you to the wrong kind of attentions (i.e. when you happen to be alone in a dodgy area).
xxx

Omg people read the mother fricking thread before you post!

To recap:

1. OP did not want a big fuck off diamond

1. OP’s husband bought a big fuck off fake and then boasted about how much this cost, embarrassing the OP in front of his friends and family

1. Daily heil etc can fuck right off

1. Because you are over the moon with your £10 ring, doesn’t make you morally superior to the OP and she can want a real diamond if she bloody well wants it

You only have to read the very first post, literally nothing else, to make an intelligent reply. There is no way on gods green earth that anyone with half a brain would think OP should be grateful her husband lied to her and happily keeps doing so!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties

AMAZING COMMENT!!!

That should read “their friends and family”.

@willynillypie

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties

AMAZING COMMENT!!!

What was it?

I can only assume that some posters JuJu2017 are taking the piss.

it doesn’t matter what it’s made of. Your husband chose that for you knowing you’d like its style.

Can't people fucking read?

Alabama3, it was as follows:

*"Well my dear husband bought a packet of cheese and onion Hula Hoops and proposed to me with one of those in 1998 in the Mahalangur Himalayan mountains.
I still wear it now, I treasure it because he chose it all by himself and of course I'm not a grabby person. I'm just grateful he wanted to marry me!"

Can people stop posting irrelevant drivel like this please.*

If it’s pretty and you like it, it doesn’t matter what it’s made of. Your husband chose that for you knowing you’d like its style.

Thanks that was a good one

Just wanted to post a quick one to say, OP, I hope all went ok with your DH when you saw him, and it was just a white lie that snowballed. I hope you’re getting to enjoy your weekend with him after not seeing him all week. xx

When do we find out what happened with DH OP

My DM engagement ring is CZ. They've been married 37 years, but she knew it wasn't a diamond. To lie about it the way OP husband has is wrong. I'd be wondering if he can lie about this, what else has he lied about?