Fake engagement ring

[Poppy1324]

I got engaged 2 years ago and married a year ago, my engagement ring is huge, very eye catching and gets lots of attention. A few people have commented about how much it must have cost and people have said it’s 2 carat at least, my husband has always said it is a diamond and made comments about how much it set him back.

Several people have said it’s worth a fortune and I’ll have to get it insured, my husband agreed and said he’ll have to do it and he will give receipt to insurance so I don’t see how much he spent. A few weeks ago someone said it must be 15-20k worth of diamond! Now we don’t have that kind of money so I assumed they must be mistaken and put it out of my mind, then last weekend I was at a dinner and a friends husband who’s a jeweller noticed the ring made a huge fuss of it,his wife compared her ring which was half the size and then they chatted quietly to each other looking at the 2 rings and looked at me with what I can only describe as mixture of sympathy and confusion as they gave it back.

I probably shouldn’t have done this but it’s been playing on my mind, I know the name of the store so I just looked it up, found the exact ring and it’s cubic zirconia, it’s still lovely and it is expensive although obviously not 15k expensive.

I don’t have expensive things, never have, it’s always made me cringe the thought he has spent so much on a ring, it felt wrong when we have struggled for money and we have friends and family around us struggling to make ends meet. Although I was obviously happy to be engaged I’m not really the attention seeking type and I’ve always felt embarrassed at the huge amount of attention this ring gets.

I feel a bit uncomfortable now wearing a massive flashy attention seeking fake ring and pretending it’s a diamond, I don’t know much about diamonds, obviously! However other people do and I feel a bit embarrassed to wear it now I know.

I don’t know how much my husband knows about jewellery, perhaps he saw it was sparkly and assumed it was a diamond or more likely he has lied about it this whole time. I have happily worn it for 2 years and I don’t want to upset him or be ungrateful for what is still a lovely and expensive ring.

Do I ask him about it or just carry on wearing it, the majority of people won’t examine it and I’d guess most wont realise so does it really matter anyway.

How did you not know though Op?

I mean if I wouldn't say that I know a great deal about diamonds, but I think I'd know that a single reasonable/substantial sized diamond is more than my OH could afford/would buy-especially if others kept entining size/cost!

I think if I was struggling for money I would have suggested selling it and getting a smaller one long ago!

No one knows it's fake, even the jeweller and his frankly jealous wife had to examine it closely so it's a well made quality ring.

The only fake thing here is your dh. Why is he telling these lies, it's insulting.
It's also disappointing that you won't have £15k attached to your finger if you split up.]

I love diamonds, stones and all things jewellery. I have heard in discussions with jewellers and collectors that the only way you can tell a CZ is to look at it with a jeweller's glass as CZs are all essentially flawless.

A very quick test would be to put a CZ stone next to a real stone and the real stone would look slightly grey in comparison whilst the CZ would be brilliant white.
Surely that's the only thing your jeweller "friend" could have done, which is pretty much insulting as it's in no way a definitive test.

It must feel like buying a £1m house you love, only for an estate agent "friend" to say you've been ripped off and the buyers would have dropped the price to £500,000 if you'd pushed.

Up until your "friend" did that, youwere absolutely oveer the moon with your beautiful ring. Please don't let their crass comments take that away from you. Now they've planted doubt in your mind, you have to ask your partner.

There was a lot of marketing for CZ a while ago that called it Man-Made Diamond so it's possible he was sold it on the basis that there's no difference between it being mined or made in a lab, it's still a diamond. Some sellers are pretty persuasive to make buyers think there's very little difference apart from inflated prices for the real thing.

Please can we see it?

I know a girl who has a non diamond engagement ring, she tells everyone it’s real. Im pretty sure she knows it’s not a diamond but I wouldn’t dream of telling her. It’s crass and rude to suggest it.
I wear a non diamond ring, people think it’s a diamond so I correct them.
I think if you love it (as I do mine) I just say ‘it’s gorgeous isn’t it but it’s cubic’
Or you could make up a Stone name like they do on the shopping channel. Love it for what it is not what it’s not.

My friend got engaged abroad and she picked out a "fake engagement ring" while she was there just until she could pick out a diamond one once she got home, turns out though she'd fallen in love with her fake one and decided that's the one she wants.................however that's not the issue here, no one is saying you have to have a pricey diamond ring, it's the husband lying to her and making her feel foolish is the problem..........

It’s embrarassing more than anything, I’d assume a lot of people have guessed it was Not a diamond. My ring came with a certificate of authenticity for the diamonds which we then needed for the insurance-you could ask for that and see what he says?

If it’s a genuine mistake then fair enough maybe. If he’s been passing it off / hoping you wouldn’t notice then I would be pretty gutted if it were me. It would mean less to me, (not cos of actual value, but the misleading) and I’d be embarrassed that people may have thought I was the one trying to pass it off.

I agree with others that it's not a 'fake' engagement ring, just your engagement ring. The issue is he lied.

However, I think people are kidding themselves that you 'can't tell the difference' between a CZ ring and a diamond. It's not the stone itself but the ring and setting which gives it away IMO...I've never seen a CZ ring that could 'pass' for a diamond unless only the most fleeting glimpse of it was given.

Only you know what his motive might have been. Was it to fool you or to make you feel like he's a big spender, or was it a case of him listening to external input where someone's insisted that your ring has to be X size?

I think I'd probably have to ask him about it. It's not the value, it's the lie.

Tbh it's really hard to tell the difference between CZ and diamonds.

No one who owns diamonds of good cut and clarity would be fooled for one minute by cubic zirconia, I promise you - they would just be too polite to comment. That said, if you love the piece, wear it and enjoy it regardless of its value.

You say since you got it the ring just isn't you. You hate the attention it receives and it's too flashy.
Now you have the added embarrassment of being asked if it's real. What if people ask you in front of dh? You need to tell him his friend told you it's not a diamond.

Why not tell him you'd like to change it, it's too big, it catches on things and although you love that he choose it, you'd like something simpler you can wear all the time?

He might not know it’s not a diamond. Not because he was ‘conned’, but because loads of people know absolutely nothing about stones and think that any shiny and clear bit of rock in jewellery must be a diamond. I’ve known many people who just assumed cubic zirconia was a type of diamond, and jewellers usually won’t point out it’s not a diamond if it’s already clearly labelled as a cubic zirconia and has the price of a cubic zirconia.

Lots of people are clueless as to diamond prices too. My ring has a massive, very high quality diamond. People often comment on how expensive it must have been and try to guess it’s price. Occasionally someone gets close, but most people guess around 4-5K, which would only get you one of the smaller surrounding emeralds. If your husband only really looked at cubic zirconas and picked one of the expensive ones, and he doesn’t know anything about really expensive jewellery, he may well think he’s bought you an expensive stone.

I don’t wear my engagement ring - it was my great grandmother’s and has an emerald the size of a fingernail in it. It doesn’t even live in our house. My husband bought me a different ring to wear every day, and we chose it just because it was beautiful. If you think it’s lovely, that’s what’s important.

Well its obviously a massive rock for other people to notice and comment on it.
If he thought he'd paid £150 for a 2 c diamond he's a prat and if he's lied to you and told you it's real then he's a bit dishonest.

Have the conversation with him Op.

I'd be really upset that my dh lied. He has let you embarrass yourself in front of friends by talking about it as if it is a real diamond.
There's nothing wrong with not getting a diamond ring, but the lying is horrible.

I am on the side of the people saying your husband may not have noticed it was cubic zirconia. It does look a LOT like diamond, and only experts would have known really.

Probably best not to 'brag' about it though - him OR you. (Don't mean that in a nasty way BTW.)

As someone said earlier;

Someone says: what a lovely ring.

You: thank you, I love it. My husband chose it for me.

That's all you need to say.

If someone carries on asking about it, like if it's a REAL diamond, just say, 'I don't care.'

As has been said, it's not a fake ring, it's REAL. And cubic zirconia is fine.

Here is a pic of a diamond ring and a CZ ring.

Bet ya cannot tell which is which.

Seems to me like your DH just wanted to impress you. THAT is why he said it cost him a lot. Men do lie about shit to impress. Don't hate him for it. It's up to you if you wanna tell him, but why bother? You like the ring yes???

What if you're wrong? The fact they have the same style of ring with cubic zirconia doesn't mean they wouldn't replicate it with a diamond if a customer asked or that they have never had the same setting with a diamond.
If you like it, continue wearing it.
If you want to bring the issue into the open, ask a jeweller to value it for insurance purposes (since you've already discussed that with DH) and then you can tell him whatever they say.

CZ and lab made diamonds are not the same thing iirc. Is it possible he bought you a lab created diamond

If your husband only really looked at cubic zirconas and picked one of the expensive ones, and he doesn’t know anything about really expensive jewellery, he may well think he’s bought you an expensive stone

He'd know it didn't cost him 20k though and he'd know what to insure it for. The line he'd do it so she didn't know how much it costs is also a bit of a give away, most women know the value of their rings for insurance purposes, I do. I was also there when he bought it.

I agree it's not the fact it's cubic zirconia that's the issue, it's the fact he's very likely lied that is. The op simply has to decide how important that lie is to her. For me I couldn't join in thr lie and would probably say something about it being cz and how much I loved it and leave it there.

You can buy a very good, huge replica diamond ring for a few hundred pounds. I have several I wear on holidays so I can leave the real ones at home.

The same in a real diamond would cost tens of thousands. You just can’t get the two mixed up when buying unless you are genuinely very stupid. Your husband lied to and embarrassed you. He should have just told you it was a cz. He told an absolute whopper of a lie instead. That’s the problem.

"If your husband only really looked at cubic zirconas and picked one of the expensive ones, and he doesn’t know anything about really expensive jewellery, he may well think he’s bought you an expensive stone"

If he's insured it like the op has said, they'd want details. If he said 'I'd like to insure a Pandora/insert other branded CZ retailer here ring for 20 grand' they'd put him straight and he'd know. He knows he's talking rubbish.

The ring is not the issue, I would be more concerned about boyfriend lying over this tbh

Yes, you need a jewellery valuation for Insurance and to provide a description.

I suspect the op always had an inkling it wasn't real due to its size. You know if your partner can afford that kind of bling or not.

Sounds incredibly fishy to me. I would ask myself why he didn't insure it straight away? Why don't you just go and get it tested if you are unsure?

Bluntness is correct, you must know if your oh is in a financial position to afford 15k? You have to provide full valuations on high value stuff to insure it.

I think it's strange he's lied to you about it. The fact he wanted to insure it without you seeing the receipt shows that he knows in my opinion. That would bother me more than what the ring was made of.
I'm currently wearing a silver cubic zirconia engagement ring as my real diamond one needs resizing. If anyone asked I'd tell them. I suppose it depends how you feel about it and whether it's the size, material or lies that's bothering you.