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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have introduced themselves?

365 replies

Uhuhhoney · 24/03/2018 23:44

Ive just moved into a new houseshare.

When i was moving my stuff in i heard one of the flatmates rummaging in the kitchen so i went downstairs and she scuttled back to her (downstairs) room. Hmm i thought... anyway, i was then making food this evening and hwr boyfriend came in and said im Courtneys boyfriend (me having no idea who she is). They're now chatting really fucking loudly downstairs and i feel like it would be awkward to go and make a brew.

Aibu to think shes been rude to deliberately ignore her only (new) flatmate!

OP posts:
eridanus · 02/04/2018 02:39

@Sakurasnail, you did change your opinion half way through the thread and were being 'open-minded' in that regard and with further evidence given, (the house rule's, the one on one conversation that was pretty harsh etc.) I don't see why you are being given a hard time at all as you retracted that.

OP I would get her in a corner and demand of her the issue.

eridanus · 02/04/2018 02:40

[and then still be really really nice]. so her boyfriend thinks she is a right nasty old thing.

IronicWittyUsername · 02/04/2018 03:03

She sounds unhinged.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/04/2018 06:05

Saskurasnail is getting a “hard time” because of what she said. Including ”And no doubt the next few updates will have her being even more hostile and unwelcoming... Hmm”

Sakurasnail · 02/04/2018 08:38

mummy - yet again ignoring the part where I 'had a change of heart', agreed with op, wished her well, etc. I'm not the only person to have said what I did, but apparently the only one to keep on trying to explain. And have attracted some pretty unpleasant comments because of it. More fool me.
Incidentally, I was right about the increasing hostility Hmm

Sakurasnail · 02/04/2018 08:41

Thx eridanus, nice to know some ppl can follow a thread and don't hold a grudge (on another's behalf) indefinitely Smile

AaronPurrSir · 02/04/2018 10:19

@uhhuhhoney I’m sorry your thread has been completely taken over by people making your problem about them and projecting their own issues onto you.

Please come back and let us know how you are getting on in the flat. You certainly don’t owe anyone any explanations regarding your own mental health - it’s no one’s business.

TomRavenscroft · 02/04/2018 10:33

Well, she's a straight-up cunt isn't she.

I don't really know what to suggest other than let the LL know how hostile she's being and that she's trying to impose rules that she isn't following.

I'd be tempted to move out and leave her in the lurch, but I also do know how disruptive and stressful it can be finding a new place.

liveandletbe · 02/04/2018 12:12

It is all about listening @Uhuhhoney. You have zoned in on one person's comments on this thread, and effectively ignored the rest, it becomes clearer why the housemate is picking up something from you, that she does not want to engage, a little bit of intensity maybe. I have changed my opinion a few times since this started but your responses suggest the issue is more about you that first perceived. Just maybe back off from her a bit, stop engineering stuff and to be honest if the house share did not suit I'd get the fuck out of it or give someone else a little more time.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/04/2018 14:11

Saskurasnail
Idk why you did the Hmm face to me. I quoted your post, which included the Hmm.

You were pretty rude about/to the op at the beginning of the thread and subsequently accused some including the op of singling you out/getting aggressive with you. I don’t consider anything you have said to the op to be anywhere near an apology, which tbh is due. You attracted attention and continue to do so with your abrasive writing style. Apologising is a sign of maturity, not weakness, you know.

That said, Uhuhhoney I do not agree with trying to drive this woman out. Yes, she’s been horrible. People, who are horrible are clearly not happy in their skin. I’d personally find something more suitable. Although I’d also contact the ll first to see if they were interested in the situation.

Sakurasnail · 02/04/2018 14:56

mummy you seem to be jumping on the bandwagon a bit here, for some reason. From the start op was insisting housemate was rude. I made two posts initially, saying exactly what others were saying (and not as rudely as some), strangely no-one appears to comment on those though. At this point op is still insisting housemate is rude, and tells me my expectation of ppl sounds low. I point out that there are many reasons housemate may not have been around to say hi, not to over think it as an inaccurate opinion may be formed without evidence, and to go and introduce herself. Which she is complaining housemate hasn't done and is therefore rude. At this point, op hasn't either, and a number of ppl have pointed this out. I get told to leave the thread by op. So, if you want to over analyze it, I'm no more rude than op, but from here on she appears to want to pick apart and challenge everything I post, despite other ppl saying the same things.
I have already said I was wrong when rules appeared, agreed with op and wished her well. As I have said a number of times. Which she ignored, and continued to have issue with me, even after that.

I certainly don't owe op an apology and I have no idea why you are taking it upon yourself to continue this line of argument now. I said I was wrong. I wished her well. Now you think I should apologize for op singling me out from many others with the same opinions (some of whom were much more 'abrasive') and continuing to denigrate my comments and say I'm implying things I hadn't?
I think not.

SandraGreen · 02/04/2018 15:08

This sounds awful.

I hope your chat with the LL goes well.

YellowFlower201 · 02/04/2018 21:06

Gosh OP I'm sorry to see your update. very very strange of her. Interesting too that the bf left when she started having a go at you.
I hope the LL can help and she pulls herself together. She sounds batshit!!

Original poster
Uhuhhoney · 02/04/2018 21:07

She approached me in living room this morning said it was unreasonable that bf had been there all easter. I said hers had been here all weekend, and was happy to prearranged with each other when they were staying.

Was accused of flirting with her boyfriend, she said she wasnt here to make friends and that i need to not "parade around wearing leggings and a vest trying to gain attention".

When i asked why she thought i was flirting she told me to back off.

I dont really know what to do.

OP posts:
TenancyTroublesAgain · 02/04/2018 21:08

Oh my god. What a rude, stuck up cunt. I'd just tell the landlord about her and take no prisoners. Do whatever you want! She deserves nothing at this point!

willynillypie · 02/04/2018 21:12

What the actual fuck is this bitch's problem!?! Her bf can be there but yours can't!? She sounds crazy insecure if leggings and a vest are flirting or inappropriate in her eyes! Jesus Christ!!

iheartmichellemallon · 02/04/2018 21:16

Just tell her to fuck off & engage no further. Speak to the LL if you think it will make a difference. What a horrible situation to be living in.

stayanotherday · 02/04/2018 21:22

Awful, she made up her mind not to like you and resents you being there. She's not prepared to compromise or sort out agreed ground rules to suit everybody so you're in the wrong whatever. Her boyfriend sounds okay and has been friendly, and not backed her up which speaks volumes.

All you can do is email the landlord, I would mention it as there may be a history here. If they don't want to know all you can do is move. It's unfair on you either way but you shouldn't feel uncomfortable. I feel sorry for you.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 02/04/2018 21:22

It does sound horrible honey. Tbh I'd start looking for somewhere else, as it doesn't seem like she's going anywhere and it's just no way to live.

stayanotherday · 02/04/2018 21:24

Also, I'd tell landlord in case it happens again with other tenants.

londonrach · 02/04/2018 21:33

Tell ll tomorrow

londonrach · 02/04/2018 21:33

And look for somewhere else...she sounds v strange

tenredthings · 02/04/2018 21:40

"Parade around wearing leggings and vest trying to gain attention ! " what is she the clothes police ! You really need to find out who was in your room before you and get some info on her. I suspect she's jealous because you've been chatting to her boyfriend and in her mind you pose a threat to her,
She's being outrageously judgemental and authoritarian. She's not related to the Landlord is she ? Can't think why else she thinks she can get away with laying down her laws ! Tell her you need to schedule a house meeting and agree together how you want this house share to play out. If she doesn't agree to this get the landlord to arrange a meeting for all 3 of you in order to clarify the rules.

SoleBizzz · 02/04/2018 21:43

I feel you should ket the 'LL know how vile your flatmate is. Then move out.

Scabetty · 02/04/2018 21:51

You’d think she’d want your bf there to stop you stealing hers. I’d lock my bedroom door at night Shock