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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have introduced themselves?

365 replies

Uhuhhoney · 24/03/2018 23:44

Ive just moved into a new houseshare.

When i was moving my stuff in i heard one of the flatmates rummaging in the kitchen so i went downstairs and she scuttled back to her (downstairs) room. Hmm i thought... anyway, i was then making food this evening and hwr boyfriend came in and said im Courtneys boyfriend (me having no idea who she is). They're now chatting really fucking loudly downstairs and i feel like it would be awkward to go and make a brew.

Aibu to think shes been rude to deliberately ignore her only (new) flatmate!

OP posts:
LexieLulu · 31/03/2018 12:40

Like hell I'd move if someone called me a slag, if prob sit and make sex noises all the time instead 😂😂

I think that would cause WWIII mind you

Wallabaloo · 31/03/2018 12:45

Hmm something else must be going on here, this is way odd

iheartmichellemallon · 31/03/2018 13:02

This is all very strange - sounds like she wants the place to herself so is trying to drive you out. Definitely complain to the landlord & also either ignore her or call her out on it every time - do you mean to be so rude? Why are you being rude to me? I'm not going to respond to you until you speak civilly etc etc. Repeat ad infinitum until she changes her behaviour.

Good luck Op as must be a horrible environment for you to live in.

willynillypie · 31/03/2018 13:24

I don't understand why you haven't called or emailed the landlord (ideally cc'ing her in). This needs to be done immediately. You need to explain the list of rules left out (and that she is also breaking them), and her behaviour. The landlord will want your room rented out, so if this is why other people have left/you might consider leaving, it is in his best interests to sort it out. You also need to address with her ASAP the fact that the rules seem to apply only to you. What a fucking bitch.

Also - to the PP who keeps going on about her social anxiety etc..the reason most people just assumed she was rude from the beginning isn't an intolerance of autism etc, it's because people with those conditions are in the MINORITY. That means when you hear hooves you think horses, not zebras. And yes, you are projecting massively.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 31/03/2018 13:26

I’d be having extra loud sex today. In the living room.

Sakurasnail · 31/03/2018 13:50

And yes, you are projecting massively.
Whatever.

Sakurasnail · 31/03/2018 13:56

I offered an alternative opinion way back at the start of the thread, then explained how this could affect her social interaction when ppl were calling her a rude twat and denying anything else apart from deliberate rudeness would cause the behaviour.
If you think this is projecting, it must happen on every single thread going.

tenredthings · 31/03/2018 15:43

She clearly was set against you before she even met you , she cancelled your first viewing and then was not there for your actual viewing. She's now trying to justify her antagonism by suggesting you are flirting with her boyfriend and having loud sex. I think this is nothing to do with you personally and there's some back story to her flat sharing. Is it possible to contact the previous occupent and ask them about their experience ? Might give you some ammo before talking to the landlord.

SauvignonBlanche · 31/03/2018 16:33

All sounds very bizarre

onemoreshotofcoffee · 31/03/2018 16:36

Lock your door! #issues

Mummyoflittledragon · 31/03/2018 16:44

Saskurasnail
Reread what you wrote in your second post. Your annoyance with op was showing visibly. And now that the thread has gone the way you predicted, you’re calling bs.

Original poster
Uhuhhoney · 31/03/2018 19:01

Even if she WAS shy, how she spoke to me before was a separate issues entirely and she showed a nasty, judgemental side, without any basis of knowing me. Hinting that im somehow trying to seduce her boyfriend when my own (very very lovely) boyfriend is staying with me, is bizarre and offensive. Maybe if today hadnt have happened i would have given her some leaway, but no - shes nearly 30 years of age throwing her toys out the pram because she has to live with someone she has decided she doesnt like before she spoke to me!!

Im going to call landlord on Monday.

Boyfriend has decided to have a chat with hers tonight as well.

OP posts:
awifeyforlifey · 31/03/2018 19:19

YANBU. Honestly, I can't think of an excuse for this kind of behavior. I've noticed comments from people wanting the OP to make allowance for a possible MH issue, but nobody seems to want to acknowledge that it's a two-way street and anyone struggling with MH issues has to be considerate of their flatmate's experience as well. This could include having her boyfriend explain that she was "shy" or needed time. But MH isn't an excuse to bully others and affect their emotional wellbeing.

Mycatsarebetterthanyours · 31/03/2018 19:28

I'm sure she wants the home to herself so she's deliberately scaring people away.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 31/03/2018 19:33

I'd drop the landlord an email today. It's the long bank holiday weekend and id want to get things logged. And say you'd like a proper chat on Tuesday.

How awful though. Glad your boyfriend is there and sounds awesome

JessieMcJessie · 31/03/2018 19:49

Why would the landlord give a shit as long as the rent gets paid and the flat is not destroyed? Each tenant will have a contract with a notice period and a deposit that can be withheld if they do a flit due to the other’s unreasonable behaviour. I lived in three or four house shares in my time and our landlords never had any influence over how we related to each other.

AaronPurrSir · 31/03/2018 19:53

Just completely ignore her and her “rules”. She has absolutely no right to impose them on you.

Lookforthestars · 31/03/2018 21:08

I've lived in loads of house shares. I'd be surprised if the landlord gave a rat's arse. In fact they'd probably be irritated. Sort it out like a grown up or move.

LexieLulu · 31/03/2018 22:23

Make sure you've kept the "house rules" to show LL

bluebell34567 · 31/03/2018 23:03

agree with JessieMcJessie, AaronPurrSir and LexieLulu.
contact ll, tell them you have a right of living peacefully there and its their duty to maintain it-in case they want to withhold the deposit, etc.
log the conversations and her rules and pass it on to ll.
in the mean time ignore and stay away from her.

Daffodillia · 31/03/2018 23:05

I’m afraid I’m with jessie on this one.

Daffodillia · 31/03/2018 23:06

Have you asked her why it’s one rule for you, one rule for her regarding boyfriends staying over?

Willow2017 · 31/03/2018 23:26

Maybe if the ll has had several people leaving and has to go to the trouble of getting new tennants and contracts signed etc which will cost them money in fees and lost income until another tennant moves in?
Maybe if he realises why people are not staying he will have a word with the woman to get over herself?

Sakurasnail · 31/03/2018 23:47

Even if she WAS shy, how she spoke to me before was a separate issues entirely and she showed a nasty, judgemental side, without any basis of knowing me.
Funny that you and many others on here had judged her nastily without knowing her, from your very first post. When all she had done was not be around to welcome you.

And mummy I was calling BS on the fact that right from the off ppl were saying mh was no excuse, she was just being rude. As I already explained.

stayanotherday · 31/03/2018 23:54

Hope you're okay, what a shame. It wouldn't harm to contact the landlord as there might be a history of this happening. If they don't want to know then unfortunately moving might be your only option. Please think of yourself.