To be pissed off with this unfair sleep situation?

[WaitingForSunday17]

Possibly I am as I am very tired.

I've been up at least twice a night since dd was born two years ago. She also tends to get up around 6.30am. I am very tired. In that time DH has never given me a night off or got up at the weekend with the children. He does work full time and I'm a sahm so in some ways I guess it's fair enough but I'm SO TIRED.

In the week I'm up at 6.30am with dd and DH works from home so doesn't get up until 8.30am at the earliest to start work around 9ish. At the weekend I'm up at 6.30am with dd and DH gets up about 10am ish.

As I said he does work full time and I am a sahm so I don't expect him to get up in the week but just occasionally at a weekend it might be nice.

Aibu?

So he works 5 days a week, and you work 7 days a week.

I'm not entirely sure why you think that's fair enough?

YANBU.

His job is more demanding than mine.

No. My stbxh did this to me. He did it because he thought he was entitled to it. Because i was subservient to him. Because, in short he didnt care about me and wanted to keep me in my place.

Yadnbu

Tell him it’s his turn to get up on Saturday and your turn to lie in.

Why on earth has this ridiculous situation ever been allowed to start in the first place.

How is his job more demanding if you are permanently tired?

I would never put up with that and I'm a SAHM. What the actual f**k! You are so not BU. Tell to pull his weight or you really are taking a week away to leave him to it.

And he works from home so not even a tiring commute to complain about. Please OP sort his out.

*this not his

It’s more demanding to wake up at 8:30 and work form home? Yeh... of course. What does this job involve?

Tomorrow, give your daughter to him, and go back to bed. He won’t dissolve into dust just because he has a job.

This isn’t fair at all.

You need at least one full night off a week and 2 lie ins. Since he works from home the lie in days can be flexible.

Does he do any parenting?

Op when ours were little dh commuted from the midlands to London or Manchester daily.

I was a sahm and we did turns to lie in sat/sun. He’s a lazy entitled arse.

Yanbu at all. I’m a SAHM, but I get a lie in every Sunday morning.

Why should one of you be exhausted and the other fine?

It’s time to tell him that he needs to pull his weight.

This is a very sad situation.

I work full time and my husband is a SAHP. I get up at 5:30 every morning to go to work. I then get up with our son at the weekend. I'm happy to do this so I can spend time with him.

Have you spoken to your husband? One lie in each at the weekend is the fairest way, and I don't think you'd be unreasonable to expect that.

Not fair at all OP, extremely selfish of him in my opinion.

You need to take it in turns at the weekend, he is being very selfish.

His job is more demanding than mine.

Aaaaaaahahahahahaha. Nope. Sorry. And I'm sorry you swallowed that nonsense. It's not. No matter what he does. He doesn't have to be on 24/7, you do.

You need to come to an arrangement where he takes care of his children on a fair basis. You have the home to manage and the children, he only has his job to manage.

I have to add I would find any partner who behaved like this extremely hard to love.

What is this job he does that is harder than looking after a small human being dull time, when you're up working a good 2 hours before him, you work through the nights whilst I bet he clocks off before dinner. Assume you cook and clean up for that too because the poor poppet has been earning the roof over your head.

He's either utterly ignorant or an arse.

Tell him you need to start splitting weekends. One gets up to your daughter and one gets a lie in. And can he do a get up with DD on a Wednesday and you'll get up for 8.30.

I'm SAHM, DH out 8-6, 2 yo doesn't sleep through. He does bedtime whilst I tidy downstairs and I get first dibs on weekend lie ins. He also gets up with DS if he wakes up too early

So because you’re a sahm you have to do all the child care all the time?

What does he do? And so his job is demanding, so what.

Surely, if he works full time then he would want to get up earlier with DD to spend time with her and maybe go to bed a bit earlier.

Also at the weekends, why is he missing out time with her?

This is not fair at all!!

He is being extremely unreasonable OP
Don't stand for this.
You work very hard seven days a week.
Tell him to shape up or lose you.
He is a very very selfish person.

He gets to get up at 8.30 to start work at 9. He's having a laugh. He can get up at 6.30 at least once in the week and start work at 9 and once at weekends.

He will be resistant to this of course but he's been lucky to get away with it for so long and very selfish

That so unreasonable on your husband's part I don't quite know where to start. I've always taken the approach that we both made them, we both raise them. Your hours of sole care end when he gets in from work and then it should be split. It doesn't have to be exactly 50/50 obviously, there can be allowances made or trade offs for him having a particularly long day or busy period in work but he really needs to step up and start pulling his weight with childcare.

It's glaringly obvious that he doesn't respect what you do or the toll it is taking on you. I think you should also stop thinking of your role as lesser than his, you are raising your children (with little support by the sounds of it).

Far from just asking for the odd lie in you need to be insisting he really steps up his efforts and contributions to the family. If he really loves and cares for you he should have already spotted that you were struggling and stepped in to help.