To be pissed off with this unfair sleep situation?

[WaitingForSunday17]

Possibly I am as I am very tired.

I've been up at least twice a night since dd was born two years ago. She also tends to get up around 6.30am. I am very tired. In that time DH has never given me a night off or got up at the weekend with the children. He does work full time and I'm a sahm so in some ways I guess it's fair enough but I'm SO TIRED.

In the week I'm up at 6.30am with dd and DH works from home so doesn't get up until 8.30am at the earliest to start work around 9ish. At the weekend I'm up at 6.30am with dd and DH gets up about 10am ish.

As I said he does work full time and I am a sahm so I don't expect him to get up in the week but just occasionally at a weekend it might be nice.

Aibu?

This was my situation too. I ended up very depressed and left my husband when my son was 18 Months.

Even it out. Agree you each get a rest day at the weekend. You have Friday night and lie in Saturday. He has lie in Sunday and Saturday night.

That way you both work 6 days a week.

Exactly, MsJuniper. That's what used to make me most angry when my DH was in this phase where he did almost no childcare at all. It wasn't so much about me needing a break as it was about the fact that he just didn't seem to want to engage in family life or be with DS. If things got tough or DS had a tantrum, he would just walk away. I always had to be the one who could never walk away or shut the door on the mayhem. It was very unfair. It bothered me most for our DS because it was as if he couldn't stand to be around us. Which made me question why he had even wanted to become a father.

Things are much better now after some frank discussions threats of divorce and a change in his work schedule. But it was a very hard time and was difficult to break the pattern and get our marriage back on track again.

The problem with this whole thing op, is that your husband doesn't seem to care about you. He doesn't care that you're exhausted, he doesn't see it as his problem.
On an ordinary loving situation, he would have seen you were knackered, and offered to share the burden.
But he hasn't either because he's a selfish arsehole, or there's a slim chance as a few posters have alluded, that he needs things spelt out to him.
In the first instance, I would talk to him, one weekend lie in a week is a fairly standard fair split.
If that doesn't work, there is no way on earth I would spend my one life with a man like this.
What do you like about him?

I'd love to know what his job is

OP, if you had two jobs as a nanny and a night nanny, would you say your job(s) was less demanding than his? With no days or nights off - would that be the same? Come on, it’s nuts. And as for ‘travel is tiring’ - please, i would kill for a night in a hotel even after a 14 hour day- total alone time and uninterrupted sleep. The situation you are accepting is bullshit. Make him go 50/50 whenever he is home, or he should fuck the fuck off. Enough!

Ok, so your DH has never got up with either of his children, he’s never given you a break, if he did get up with them he wouldn’t “play with them or even make them breakfast...”

Sounds drastic, but I couldn’t be with someone like that. He sounds like he doesn’t even like his kids?!

This is no way to live, OP.