It's really important to split the number of working hours equally between the 2 of you for several reasons you may not have even thought of yet...
Currently you have a 24/7 job, (168 hour per week) and he has a 40 hour per week job... the working hours have not been split fairly, (equally) between the two of you!
If you do not nip this in the bud then he will always have more energy than you, so he will naturally end up dominating you. Unfortunately from a psychological perspective you will then always be unhappy because you're not feeling empowered, and he will always ironically be unhappy because in his eyes you will be a shell of what you once were to him, not able to do all the enjoyable things with him that he wants from a relationship.
This way of living will most likely end in one of two ways if you do not motivate him to change... the most likely scenario is that he will find comfort elsewhere... and the other scenario is that you will let this carry on for years which will make you become emotionally detached from him, which will lead to you living in a loveless relationship for years, letting him use your body from time to time, until in several years time you will finally reach your last straw and leave him for the security and emotional support of somebody else.
It happens all the time, so don't be a statistic!
Both of these options are pretty horrible, so please talk to him... and if you're too tired to find the words then please write down everything you want to say to him, including how you need him to support you, because it's more important to get the message across "in a way he understands", than to do it in the idealistic way you may fantasise about.
Men are quite simple people, like little boys really, so you need to be blunt, and direct but also considerate to their feelings.... so don't just tell him you need help, but instead tell him exactly what you need him to do.... for example, "we need to take it in turns to wake up in the night", and "I need you to do the housework if I'm making the meals" etc etc.... Give and take!
Please always bear in mind that a relationship is 50:50... it's about give and take, about sharing responsibilities, and people inherently can be quite selfish without necessarily meaning to be and in most instances without even realising they are being selfish at all!
This is why it is always important to use the power of your words to "calmly" let him know exactly what you need from him, and to explain to him exactly how it affects you, both physically and emotionally when he does and does not do the things he could be doing to support you.
To be fair guys are very simple creatures. They often just want to live with the person they love, do things they enjoy doing and have sex with the person they love "as much as possible", so I'm sure if you make him understand that by splitting the workload 50:50 you will end up having more energy for sex etc then he will be more understanding and compliant in helping you out... because you are talking to him directly in the language he understands! (ie, he will think, "I want sex, Oh ok I need to do this to get sex, ok that seems fair").
On the flip side.... never EVER tell him he's not getting sex unless he does something for you, as this is a very negative way of phrasing it... you will make him feel like you are manipulating him, so when you do have sex he will be more inclined to just have the type of sex he wants to have with you instead of being considerate to your own emotional needs, and he will also feel less supported and be more inclined to look elsewhere.... you have to use your words to make him understand that by helping you out you will be expending less energy, so you will be less tired which will result in you having more energy for enjoying sex with him more often.... remember to speak his language ;)
Hope that all makes sense and you feel empowered to talk to him about the things he can do to help you out.
Go into the conversation with an open mind, because remember, he may not be aware of just how selfish he's been being. If he gets angry or defensive then don't escalate the emotional tension.
And if after speaking to him, you know he has understood the message but continues to take advantage of your good nature then I'm afraid that he's already crossed that invisible line whereby he will never come back, so in that instance it will be much healthier for you and your children's emotional wellbeing to leave him.
Most men are understanding though so I'm sure it won't come to that!
Have a great weekend
Energise4U