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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To think Mumsnet is OBSESSED

974 replies

AccidentalKylie · 22/03/2018 20:11

I used to read Mumsnet because it was a lot of clever, funny women talking about stuff I was interested in, but it's become a one issue forum. It's exhausting.

To think Mumsnet is OBSESSED
OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
MrsJoshDun · 22/03/2018 20:54

So a mother who was worried her male, toddler child liked playing with dolls told the boy he was a girl and brought him up as a girl and at 16yo flew him to Thailand and had his dick chopped off. Along with hormone treatment which I believe started earlier than 16yo.

Why could she not just say it’s ok for boys to play with dolls?

Maybe she was worried he was gay? It’s not the feminists who sound homophobic to me.

And then on the opposite side we get girls/women being told if they like “male”type things or if they don’t like make up and nails then maybe there not women. That they’re men and should start taking hormones and have their breasts cut off. It’s horrific.

aRespectableBureaudeChange · 22/03/2018 20:54

That's great Kyle that you don't shove genitals in people's faces - then again I suppose you aren't a child's height Grin so might be different depending on perspective.

So you've never encountered the sort of male that likes to take advantage of situation to get up close and naked with women.

I've spent a lifetime spotting a dodgy bloke and giving him a wide berth - grateful to wander into privacy of the girls' loo. With self ID of gender he will be following you straight in and no one can question him.

That's what you want for your daughters? Nice.

Darling : there aren't than many perverts, but so we don't upset the men that aren't perverts we have to run the gauntlet of the actual perverts . Ok darling ? We don't want to look phobic do we? I mean women's safety isn't as important as men feelings.

Growingboys · 22/03/2018 20:54

Agree. Very boring

Djnoun · 22/03/2018 20:54

I'm bisexual. Why on earth would that make me more eager to see another group of vulnerable people be abused?

NoToast · 22/03/2018 20:55

Are there any other feminist issues which have been given the level of airtime as 'self ID' (which no one here seems to understand, because all the 'THERE'S A BOY IN THE GIRLS BATHROOM!!' bollocks is already happening and has been for years).

No you're wrong. What is proposed is legislating a verifiable untruth and creating policy around it. I can't recall any precedent for this.

What next? Legal recognition of trans-age -it's not much of a stretch if it's already a legal position that people can change sex. A 38 year old man has excused his sex assaults on 8 and 6 year old girls by saying he's a 9 year old boy trapped in a man's body. www.theblaze.com/news/2018/01/26/chicago-man-accused-of-sexually-assaulting-children-claims-he-is-trans-age

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 22/03/2018 20:55

Come on @MNHQ - a trans board is what this site needs. The people who want to have those discussions can find them all in one place, and those of us who don't want to can avoid them entirely. Everyone is happy, no one is silenced, it's a perfect solution. There are far more trans threads than 'is this nice' threads and the latter just got given their own board!

No. If there was a trans board, it would/should be a support board for people with gender dysphoria. We have transwomen/MTF transsexuals posting on here who probably really deserve their own space, given the hostility towards then mfrom trans activists.

The issue being discussed on the “trans threads” is about the erosion of women’s rights and therefore belongs in Feminism and, of course, AIBU.

Belphegor · 22/03/2018 20:55

"Because I just DON'T CARE and don't think it's important"

I feel exactly the same about all the threads with the theme of "how often do you wash your towels/sheets" and there are BILLIONS of those. I just don't click on them, it's pretty easy.

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 22/03/2018 20:56

Ooh sorry something bad happened with my last post. The bit in bold shoildn’t be there, and the first para should be bold. My iPad is possessed....

Hypermice · 22/03/2018 20:57

Because I just DON'T CARE and don't think it's important

Do you not think data collection is important? Data on crime, equal pay?

That female prisoners could share a cell with a convicted sex offender with a penis - not important?

That young teens are being told that if they don’t conform to narrow stereotypes they’re not just fine as they are, but are the opposite sex? Not important?

That a man can beat a female MMA fighter almost to death and no one can stop them because it might hurt his feelings? Not important?

MickHucknallspinkpancakes · 22/03/2018 20:57

* You're on the same side as Piers Morgan.*

What a ridiculous argument.

I love dogs. Hitler loved dogs. Am I on the same side as Hitler? Or are people not able to have a range of opinions and emotions?

There are a lot of threads, bringing a lot of attention to the threats, violence, fear and bullying of women by the TRA. It's an absolute eye opener. Thank god for the boards. Thank god for those women fighting not to erode our freedoms.

PussyTrumpHat · 22/03/2018 20:57

YABU
I am grateful to MN for opening my eyes to the loss of womens rights
Trans women are not the same as women and that is reality. Reality is not transphobic
Funny how a small group come along every so often shouting the same

MaggieTheCat1 · 22/03/2018 20:57

Self ID is hugely important. But there is nothing new at all being discused in regards to it and there hasn't been for a very, very long time. It's the same old tired posts and arguments with usually the same posters.

I actually agree with a lot of what is said but when the same conversations have been had for at least 2 years now I hit 'peak MN trans' ages ago. Hid the feminism boards ages ago which is a shame but could not look at one more picture of Danielle Muscato with a 'do you think this is a woman?' faux question.

Ruffian · 22/03/2018 20:57

Thanks for the Petition link, I have now signed

JennyJames · 22/03/2018 20:58

No it isn’t Djnoun

The comment above mine was a specific example, not a ‘wild, inaccurate generalisation’

And the original comment you referenced was nothing to do with a TIM ‘pushing their genitals in a child’s face’ and everything to do with bodily males undressing in front of young girls.

Crying out loud, can we not even reference facts anymore? Do we have to resort to utter hyperbole to try to prove a point?

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 22/03/2018 20:58

Try again.....

Come on @MNHQ - a trans board is what this site needs. The people who want to have those discussions can find them all in one place, and those of us who don't want to can avoid them entirely. Everyone is happy, no one is silenced, it's a perfect solution. There are far more trans threads than 'is this nice' threads and the latter just got given their own board!

No. If there was a trans board, it would/should be a support board for people with gender dysphoria. We have transwomen/MTF transsexuals posting on here who probably really deserve their own space, given the hostility towards then mfrom trans activists.

The issue being discussed on the “trans threads” is about the erosion of women’s rights and therefore belongs in Feminism and, of course, AIBU.

Iggi999 · 22/03/2018 20:58

I agree that there is a hardcore anti-trans culture on MN and it's odious. They argue gender is a purely social construct - fluid and bearing no relation whatsoever to biology
I’m struggling to get my head around this post. It’s the “terfs” who say gender is unrelated to biology? I thought it was trans people who felt that their gender identity didn’t have to have anything to do with the hand that biology dealt them? (aka made up construct).
There’s a lot of poor thinking on this issue and it isn’t coming from the rad fems.

BarrackerBarmer · 22/03/2018 20:58

OP is EXHAUSTED I tells ya.

Has to literally SCROOOOLL through the feminism boards to find a non-feminist thread.

AntiqueOlive · 22/03/2018 20:58

Actually, I think there should be a MIL board.

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 22/03/2018 20:58

I’ll get my coat..... Blush

TwitterQueen1 · 22/03/2018 20:58

I have permanently hidden every single feminism thread. The aggression, the closed language, the abuse expressed towards anyone who doesn't have an immediate 100% understanding or agreement with every single issue (and I'm one of them), the patronising condescension....

The feminism threads are very effective in turning people away from wanting to participate in any kind of conversation or gain a clearer understanding of the issues.

TheBrilliantMistake · 22/03/2018 20:59

*First there was a debate about racial equality.

Once that was on the way to being sorted, the debate about sexuality came to the fire.

Once marriage equality happened, I knew people debating transgender issues would be the next thing.

Mumsnet condoning this is equivalent to condoning racism or homophobia. It's on the wrong side of history.*

Black people were not inherently more dangerous than white people. The segregation and racism was / is based on pure discrimination and ignorance. Black people were the victims of their more powerful white counterparts.

Gay people were not inherently more dangerous than heterosexuals. The lack of sexual tolerance was again, pure discrimination and ignorance, and homosexuals were victimised by heterosexuals (usually in numbers).

Men identifying as woman are the dominant half of the species changing the rules in order to gain increased access to women's areas, and critically men who have absolutely no real intention of becoming women could abuse the proposed new rules simply by saying 'I feel like a woman today, let me into their safe area'.
Not all men are predators, but 1 wolf in 100 is enough to cause carnage amongst the sheep.

To my mind, Self-ID itself isn't the issue, it's the proposed rights that Self-ID'ing men would gain, and worse still the rights that faux-ID'ing predators would also gain.

It's absolutely not transphobia, at least not in my case. I'd like a solution that allows them to be who they want to be, safely - just not at the expense of existing safety for women.

FlakyToast · 22/03/2018 20:59

love dogs. Hitler loved dogs. Am I on the same side as Hitler?

Yes, you are. ALso he was a vegetarian like me so I have also commited literal genocide.

I've heard Piers Morga is against kicking puppies, children, and pregnant women which also makes means I agree with him on more than one subject. :(

WetsTheVet · 22/03/2018 20:59

YANBU. It is SO FUCKING BORING. I actually can't stand it anymore and rarely come on the forum.

ItsuAddict · 22/03/2018 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JennyJames · 22/03/2018 21:00

MNHQ won’t set up a Trans board because it would be transphobic.

Trans people don’t want to be segregated. They want to be completely and wholly integrated.

The irony of the ‘I don’t care and you’re transphobic’ complainers calling for this separation wold be laughable if it weren’t so ironic.