To say no?

[AyeAyeFishyPie]

I don’t think i am but I need some reassurance!

DH and I moved last summer. We joined the local church and have been regular attendees since. There is a man who seemed very lonely and has sort of latched onto us slightly. He has invited us to a different church (we went), come round unannounced on a saturday lunchtime for company (DH weasn’t here, he came in and had about half a bottle of wine) and invited us to his 70th birthday. He has told us that he has had a criminal conviction, we don’t know what for. He is very open that he struggles for money, but there are mentions of holidays and things which seem extravagant if he is as skint as he suggests he is.

To be clear - I don’t particularly get on with him but I would feel hypocritical going to church and ignoring him.

He has now approached us to be a guarantor for a 2k loan. Apparently the vicar is the other one. We asked for details and said we would think about it. He has now emailed DH with details and a ‘thanks for agreeing to do this’ note. Money makes me anxious so I know I may be being odd but every part of me is saying ‘don’t do it’. However I hate things being awkward.

For context - if he defaulted 2k wouldn’t ruin us, however we have our first baby on the way.

I don’t understand why you would even consider saying yes to this. Can you explain?

Are you crazy, OP?! Tell him no, for God's sake!

Don't do it. Just say you can't afford to and that you hope he can find someone else to help. And then distance yourselves from him, it all sounds a bit much, too soon. You've known him less than a year!

No, you would not be unreasonable to say no. Even if he didn't default, you don't need the worry, particularly when you are pregnant.

louise it’s for a car for his partner who has terminal cancer.

We are supposed to be going out for Sunday lunch with him. it makes me not want to go to church.

I’m so relived the first three replies are what they are!!!

I agree, absolutely no way!! Reply to the email saying you have thought it over and decided against it. Wish him luck in finding someone else.

"I'm sorry there's been a misunderstanding, we didn't agree to help you. We've reviewed our finances and won't be able to be a guarantor, good luck (finding another mug.)"

Just say that you can’t do it, you don’t need to justify yourself.

I’d be distancing myself from this man if I was in your situation.

Good Grief! Just NO. He's preying on your Christian good nature don't you think?

What I would warn you about is that you would also be liable I should imagine for the interest? So it could be way more than 2k if it goes wrong. If im mistakeb please feel free to correct me. I would just go with your gut. Instinct says no thats what I would follow. I dont think I could ask my best friend to do that let alone in this situation...
Sorry OP not much help but I think you may have to find the courage to say no

Good grief, why would you even consider this? You’ll basically be giving a stranger £2k.

You can be nice and 'Christian' without being a guarantor. Are there some good bible verses about not lending money you could use?

bellybean haha I don’t know - i will try and find one!

So when she dies because she has terminal cancer you’ll be paying off the loan?

Nope, can hardly believe the cheeky ex-con is asking

Being a Christian doesn not mean you have to be a mug. Say no and distance yourself.

And, oh I'm sorry we're super busy after church so we won't be able to make lunch!

Say no.
And go and talk to the vicar.

I wouldn't do this in a million years. You would be better off just giving him 2k then at least you wouldn't be liable for interest if he defaulted and risk having your credit file damaged.

Do you have a local credit union which might be able to help him?

You are all making me feel much better and much less of a bitch. I can’t see us getting out of lunch though (which he apparently can afford?!?!?!)

He's treating you both like mugs, I bet your not the first either, ide ask the vicar what's going on.

Hi, if his partner has terminal cancer, depending on the length and prognosis, she might qualify for a motability vehicle. There is a lot of help out there for people with cancer, just say no. Sounds as though you are being played.

say you have thought about it and you can’t help
Then go and talk to the vicar

Hahaha. No. And again, No. If you need to discuss it for your own peace of mind then, talk to the Vicar? If he’s agreed to guarantee the loan, ask him why he thinks it’s ok and ask him to help let this bloke down gently (if you are so inclined). Bet the Vicar hasn’t agreed btw.

No! That's mad op. Don't do it. And it won't be if, it'll be when. There's a reason why everyone who knows him better than you haven't been asked to be guarantor - they'd say no!

Don't do this - i say this as a regular church goer...
What does the terminally ill partner need the car for? Are you comfortable offering HER lifts?