To say no?

[AyeAyeFishyPie]

I don’t think i am but I need some reassurance!

DH and I moved last summer. We joined the local church and have been regular attendees since. There is a man who seemed very lonely and has sort of latched onto us slightly. He has invited us to a different church (we went), come round unannounced on a saturday lunchtime for company (DH weasn’t here, he came in and had about half a bottle of wine) and invited us to his 70th birthday. He has told us that he has had a criminal conviction, we don’t know what for. He is very open that he struggles for money, but there are mentions of holidays and things which seem extravagant if he is as skint as he suggests he is.

To be clear - I don’t particularly get on with him but I would feel hypocritical going to church and ignoring him.

He has now approached us to be a guarantor for a 2k loan. Apparently the vicar is the other one. We asked for details and said we would think about it. He has now emailed DH with details and a ‘thanks for agreeing to do this’ note. Money makes me anxious so I know I may be being odd but every part of me is saying ‘don’t do it’. However I hate things being awkward.

For context - if he defaulted 2k wouldn’t ruin us, however we have our first baby on the way.

I had a vaguely similar situation to this a while ago. I talked to the vicar and explained how uncomfortable the person in question was making me, and he acted as a go betwee

Sorry - cat head butted phone!

...he acted as a go between, so I could say no to increasing demands without feeling like I was being an awful person.

Have you even met the partner?

This screams scam to me, very loudly.

Please say no.

Definitely not! This is a conman.

I would say no - clearly, I would also talk to your vicar

A PP has it spot on, it could be way more than £2k.

If he spends the first year messing about, missing payments and having bounced DD fees then the eventual balance you'll be lumbered with could be more.

Why would you even consider saying yes?

Quite the contrary. You WBU to say yes! No no no.

Agree with posters who say don't fall for this! Sounds like a chancer who has found a good couple of Christians and is taking a punt on funding.

As a Christian myself I would be saying no and I would be stopping contact. This would make me feel very uncomfortable.
Is this man an actual friend of yours? And do you feel comfortable with him?
Guard yourselves. By all means be nice and supportive at church but maybe take a step back from this man.
And definitely speak to your vicar!!

Do you really need to come on here and ask? You’d be bonkers to say yes. YANBU

No no no no no no no!

Please OP, don't agree to this! Have you considered why he's asking you of all people, newcomers who've known him less than a year? Because is friends and people he actually knows know his real self and would never agree to help! Don't be a mug. Change church

No... a 70 year old either access to 2k or he doesn't. Presumably he is no longer working. You don't know him well enough to do this. Say no, if you need to explain, say you cannot afford to with the baby on the way.

You already know he has a criminal conviction. How is a 70 year old man in a position to repay this loan anyway?

Just. Say. No.

You will be responsible for the loan (I doubt the vicar would have agreed to this). It could be a lot more than £2K. Respond immediately so you don't have to have a massively awkward lunch.

Hi (pisstaker)
I’m afraid there has been a misunderstanding. We did state that we would think about being a guarantor but there was no final agreement that we would do it. On reflection we have decided it won’t be appropriate for us to take on that role so you will have to rule us out.
Best of luck with sorting out a car otherwise.
Aye

Absolutely not. You'd be mad to say yes.

It is very telling that you, as newcomers, are being asked to do something like this.

Definitely step back, in a healthy boundaries way. You are not comfortable accepting their hospitality after the misunderstand about the loan.

There is a fair chance that the vicar hasn't agreed any more than you have.

I’m a Church going Christian and I would say no to this.

He’s manipulating you.

Go and speak to the Vicar. If there is indeed an assistance need to help this lady get to appointments etc then I’m sure a group could be formed within the church to facilitate this.

Note I said a group.

Becoming a guarantor for a stranger is madness. Don’t do it.

Don't do it! Even if he can pay the company will chase you if he decides not to pay. Seriously....Just say no.

how is he going tgo pay u back a ill wife and criminal conviction i wouldnt touch it with a bargepole

I have my suspicions that the Vicar isn’t really a guarantor but if he is and if he tries to persuade you to be one too change church.

Don't do it!

I also wouldn't be comfortable socialising with someone who admits to having a criminal conviction unless I knew what that conviction was for and the circumstances around it.

He's been grooming you.

The pair of you seriously need to grow a spine and use it. You'd be an utter fool to agree to this. And you don't see how you can get out of the lunch? C'mon, seriously, stop being so wet! 'Sorry, have to cancel for Sunday lunch, we have another urgent commitment that afternoon.'

He's a con artist. Duh! Can't believe anyone would fall for that claptrap of a car for terminally ill partner. Bullshit.

Tell the vicar in case he is asking others in the church who are more vulnerable.