Who is being unreasonable... dd vs dh

[xyla589]

Dd19 likes having very long hot showers - she'll often be in the shower for 30-45 minutes.

Dh gets very angry about this because of the cost of the water and because sometimes she uses up all the hot water and he can't do the washing up.

They had a massive argument when this happened yesterday. He says that she can't spend more than 5 minutes in the shower any more. She says she'll have her shower when no-one else is at home and she'll give us part of her student loan to pay for it. Dh says that she's 'missing the point'.

Who is being unreasonable?

Maybe if she wants to try long showers at Uni she should figure out a way to move out and pay for it herself.

She didn’t want to go her local Uni. She wanted to go to Imperial, but her parents convinced her to stay at home and now begrudge her showers.

If she’s going to move out, she should have gone to her first choice uni.

I think imperial trumps Brighton love. By about a mile. Medicine is extremely competitive and I work in a medical field that involves hiring doctors, and trust me you fucked up big picking Brighton over imperial.

And she’s offered to pay!

MMmm DD will spend as long as she can in the shower in the morning - I have tried to get her to cut it back a lot I use the conserving water aspect. It's not just about the cost to ourselves but we need to preserve as much water as poss.

Your DD is being unreasonable as it is not her house - she is not a lodger ! Besides how on earth would you even begin to attempt to apportion cost!? DH could probably meet her halfway though and give her a bit longer

But is she actually in the shower for 45 minutes? As in running water?
Or is she in the bathroom for 45 minutes?

Your husband is washing up! I

@lostjanni

Bristol, not Brighton...

I think medicine is probably one of very few courses where it does actually matter where you go

Bristol - not Brighton. Bristol is a great medical school, but I still feel sorry for the DD - stuck at home with her Dad timing her showers, to save her top income-bracket parents cash, when she could have been having an amazing time at halls in London. Not what I'd want for any child of mine.

Still compared to imperial @xyla589. I stand by my statement in medicine imperial matters.

You told her not to go to one of the top medical schools in the UK when she could have survived on the student loan like many and then complain she takes too long in a shower. Bit annoying for her I think.

I think medicine is probably one of very few courses where it does actually matter where you go

It doesn't really. And Bristol is one of the top med schools anyway. But it's sad that the DD is missing out on one of life's great formative experiences - going away to uni. The friends you make at med school see you through the horrors challenges of the first years of hospital training. You miss out massively if you are not fully integrated into med school life, because you're living at home. Big mistake and sad for DD to miss out on Imperial and the full med student experience.

If that's the worst, most costly thing she does while at uni I think you should be very pleased.

ThexxFactor I agree. Bristol is good but not imperial. And missing out on uni and then getting whinged at for doing an innocent thing. God she could be doing drugs or binge drinking but oh no daddy isn't happy about her having a shower.

She turned down a medical place at Imperial the level of research and teaching available to med students at Imperial are internationally recognised. Bristol isn't shoddy but.....well bloody hell op, not sure you're really grasping what opportunities she may have missed out on

You might spend £5-10 going to the cinema to relax. Relaxing in a hot shower is also a leisure activity. Would you begrudge your DD a trip to the cinema?

Bloody hell that would drive me bonkers! About 450 litres of water a day plus about a pound a shower in electricity

Walkingdeadfangirl

^this

Diamondjoan. She could have done that no problem at uni. But hey at least parents are hapoy.

A 45 minute shower isn’t going to do your your bathroom much good unless it’s exceptionally well ventilated.

Twitter missing out on imperial and being at uni halls while studying medicine won't do her daughter much good.

Even if she went to imperial, 45 mins is too long.

Believeitornot well it would be her money she was spending in her own mini flat basically.

I have never heard of anyone taking such long showers!! that's a massive waste of energy and water.

Jeez stop giving the OP a hard time. Bristol Uni is bloody good, Bristol (my home town) is a fantastic city and a great place to be a student. Lots of students fund their own degrees, and lots of parents (mine, I moved to Bristol!) expect their kids to leave at 18, the OP was probably looking forward to having one less waiting to use the bathroom and now she is stuck with her for the next 4 years or so

I think there is a halfway house, 45 mins is really too long both from an environmental and cost perspective to say nothing of occupying the bathroom for that length of time.