to feel insulted, upset and depressed at letter from tax credits?

[newsparklythings]

Every tax credits letter I have received up to now has been the standard form, which I have filled in and sent back. that doesn't stop them cocking up the payments of course - one year they decided they had over-paid and just.. stopped them 6 months into the tax year (luckily I had savings to live on). They have done the same this year with a month to go to April so not quite as bad but not great either.

But now they have sent a letter with the headline:

"Your tax credit award - should you be making a joint claim.."

It might also seem like a standard letter to some, but as a single parent it feels like I'm being accused of something. I mean, the last time I checked I didn't have a man hiding under my bed or supplying me with big bundles of cash. But the letter is kind of saying they don't trust that I have got that bit right. By suggesting that I 'might just want to check' that I am not a single person.

Another bit of the letter reads:

"I would like you to reconsider your current circumstances and check if you should be claiming as part of a couple."

Now, just thinking through my 'circumstances'.. DD's DF pissed off when I was 6 weeks pregnant (so, single then).. I was pregnant with serious MH issues as a result through my pregnancy (so, single).. gave birth alone (alone, so single).. and have raised DD alone for a number of years since. Her DF cannot even be bothered to meet her, so there is little chance really of us shacking up together. And as I have practically zero support and work full-time, and have barely ever been able to do anything on my own (like, pee) since she was born.. I would say I am still single.

But 'Darren' from HMRC thinks I might just want to check.

wildblueberryjam do YOU earn a high salary? Because you're talking about your husband's salary, not your own. How would you fare if you were ever to split up? Because that's how a lot of women end up having to claim tax credits.

I do actually find it interesting that usually people moaning about others "having children they can't afford" and are married and have either 2 incomes or a husband who earns good money.

Yes it’s a standard letter but it’s working on the assumption that everyone is out to fiddle system. Why not just say ‘if any of your circumstances are different from last year let us know’. No one claims benefits for fun. If you knew the ridiculous hoops you have to jump through to provide evidence for them to assess your entitlement every year only for them to fuck it up you’d wonder why anyone bothers. Not only that their letters and calculations are usually so impenetrable there’s no way of knowing if you’re actually getting what you are supposed to have. I am so relieved I’m not entitled to anything because having seen the nightmare my sister has with them I know they are not an easy option.

wildblueberryjam only nurses and teachers, then? No no, sweetheart, no touched nerves here, wild amusement, maybe.

I received the letter, read it and chucked it in the recycling never to be thought of again.

I see the thread has taken a depressingly predictable turn. Perhaps those high earners/people who have been lucky enough to only make 100% correct choices in life who feel they're hard done by should refrain from reading threads about benefits in future.

OP, it is a standard letter but I absolutely understand where you're coming from. It's a horrible letter to receive when you're in your position. It's so awful to hear about these cock ups that have a huge impact on people.

Actually in regards to the OP I wouldn't feel offended by this sort of letter. I'm single and get tax credits and haven't received one myself. But people have clearly used this thread as an excuse to benefits bash.

They have indeed, BitchQueen90 I for one can't see any reason a woman who's beloved husband earns 200k+ per annum could possibly get from replying on such a thread, other than to boast about her own (or rather, her husbands) wealth. Tsk tsk. Shameful.

I agree it's short sighted and self absorbed, a complete lack of empathy.
I actually think it's a convenient way to write off the poor- just buy into the benefit Britain propaganda- they're all spunking it on fags, booze, kids everywhere and a big fuck off tele-. Most are lying scheming fraudsters with "made up disabilities" . It's a life style choice, they deserve nothing so I'll look down on them from my ivory tower and resent paying taxes.

Back in the real world of course most people are decent hard working and struggling to get by. It's hardly a choice.

That's if it's even true @kitten

I've always found these letters to be badly written. Years ago I worked on the DHSS social fund. Our letters used to read unfortunately your needs are not sufficient to qualify. I thought this was incredibly rude, a better wording would have been some this along the lines of,the item you asked a loan for does not have enough priority to qualify

You have to bear in mind the item could be something like a fridge which most people would say was essential but loans for fridges were only granted if used to store medication

Mocha. Not implying you are doing anything wrong at all and your situation makes perfect sense. Why would anyone make a joint claim if they don't live together or share finances just because their friends see them as a couple?
I wondered if that's what the letter was implying because that's how I read it.
I hope not. Anyone with a casual boyfriend might be breaking the rules.

I, too, am agog to hear whether wildblueberryjam actually has a job herself, or whether she is struggling to make ends meet on only her husband's meagre £116k (minimum) PA. .

(after tax, that is).

OP I know where you are coming from.

Years ago, I was claiming the single person discount on my council tax, and I got a letter from the council saying "we have been informed that you should not be claiming this discount. Please confirm that you will now start paying full CT". I rang them up, most offended, and asked who had wrongly told them I was not eligible, and they told me they had sent that letter to everyone who claimed the discount.

It is basically insulting to get a letter asking you if you are committing fraud.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 yes some people do. As explained above you pay 45% and loose your personal allowance as well. And no tax credit. And no 30h childcare, only 15h.
Of course to get to this point one person in the household has to earn over 100k (doesn't matter if the other adult doesn't earn anything, and if there are children to support). So not really something to complain about but why deny it??

Its bad apples spoiling things for everyone. A significant minority do play the system. When we lived in London I went to a playgroup near where I lived and the main topic of conversation was hanging onto all your benefits although your partner lived with you . Its quite widespread.

Its like the whole class being kept in because some kids mucked about or everyone volunteering at school having to have DBS certificates because of a few evil doers. Always annoying to the decent majority.

The thing is though, anyone who is fiddling the system will just laugh, crumple the letter and chuck it in the bin without a care.

The people who find the accusation offensive are the ones who haven't done anything wrong.

You probably are over-reacting a little bit - but how many of us have not over-reacted a little bit? Well, apparently, all these perfect specimens of humanity who inhabit MN. I feel for you, it's obviously been tough and now and then you're going to just feel a little overwhelmed, as we all do, especially at the end of a long day, with no-one to vent to, as you put it?

💐💐💐💐

Well I hope wild has her own job ! Imagine relying on someone else to find your life choices . Honestly

Where on here have I even remotely complained about my situation? I actually commented too because I do, as I said, feel for OP in that she was saddened by the letter and I understand how these things can be upsetting. I did have a high paid job which I recently gave up to be a SAHM. And for years we did not have any money and therefore did not have any children/thought we might never because we wanted to be financially secure before having them. I also only brought up the salary in response to a comment about tax, to explain. People can be bitter or unpleasant if they want to, but I am entitled to my opinion which I've made clear (people are just choosing to ignore it or be ridiculously hyperbolic in their interpretations!)

People also choosing to ignore that I completely support all the women whose husbands just disappeared! I am sorry that people feel entitled to live off other people's hard earned money. I gave nurses and teachers as two examples because they are horrifically underpaid and overworked and their taxes pay for people's irresponsible lifestyle choices. Anyway, can't be bothered with the circles this is going round in because of people deliberately misconstruing what I am saying "oh, she has some money, she MUST BE THE DEVIL!!!" "She can't ever have experienced what it's like to live like me" - wrong wrong wrong. Just lol. Goodnight ladies.

See ya!

sunandmoonshine
you ranting and swearing at people doesn't make you right I am afraid, you just appear ridiculous. People are allowed to have enough of seeing their salary disappear in tax and hearing people moaning that they don't get enough free money, discount, low-rental properties and so on.
Many of us get no help whatsoever. The current system is completely unfair, and steps are clearly being made to improve that. Finally.

The only people who could possibly be claiming as single whilst living in a couple are the the single parent claimants. That's just a fact - it's not a judgement on that group of people but it would be fucking stupid to send this letter to a couple

So a couple couldn’t possibly ever commit fraud? Only single parents can? That is precisely the point, surely? That couples are considered decent and reasonable but single parents are the ones who commit fraud. How hard is it to send a letter encompassing the whole range of possible problems individuals or couples may be facing if they don’t get their claim right?

I agree Kerala and that small minority of poor people playing the system are always heralded as representative of everyone in this country who has ever claimed a benefit.
There's an insinuation that if you're claiming a benefit you're an unfit parent and you're bleeding tax payers dry. By choice of course
I feel nothing but sympathy for families caught in a poverty trap. They're stuck in a living hell.

I think tax credits are excellent when used for people who are squeezed and working hard eg nurses and teachers

So, only professional people deserve tops ups? You don’t think TAs, HCAs, cleaners, carers, shop assistants, waitresses etc etc work hard and deserve a decent standard of living?