to feel insulted, upset and depressed at letter from tax credits?

[newsparklythings]

Every tax credits letter I have received up to now has been the standard form, which I have filled in and sent back. that doesn't stop them cocking up the payments of course - one year they decided they had over-paid and just.. stopped them 6 months into the tax year (luckily I had savings to live on). They have done the same this year with a month to go to April so not quite as bad but not great either.

But now they have sent a letter with the headline:

"Your tax credit award - should you be making a joint claim.."

It might also seem like a standard letter to some, but as a single parent it feels like I'm being accused of something. I mean, the last time I checked I didn't have a man hiding under my bed or supplying me with big bundles of cash. But the letter is kind of saying they don't trust that I have got that bit right. By suggesting that I 'might just want to check' that I am not a single person.

Another bit of the letter reads:

"I would like you to reconsider your current circumstances and check if you should be claiming as part of a couple."

Now, just thinking through my 'circumstances'.. DD's DF pissed off when I was 6 weeks pregnant (so, single then).. I was pregnant with serious MH issues as a result through my pregnancy (so, single).. gave birth alone (alone, so single).. and have raised DD alone for a number of years since. Her DF cannot even be bothered to meet her, so there is little chance really of us shacking up together. And as I have practically zero support and work full-time, and have barely ever been able to do anything on my own (like, pee) since she was born.. I would say I am still single.

But 'Darren' from HMRC thinks I might just want to check.

Whatshallidonowpeople

You do realise most single parents claiming tax credits claim them so we can put our children into childcare so we can go and work...... and pay tax.....

I got the same letter and I felt pretty much the same, wondered if someone accused me of something, so yea it caused a stress reaction.
Also worried about the if your family and friends see you as a couple part. Where is that line drawn? I was seeing someone for 6 months he met my friends and was my boyfriend but hadn't met my child.
Ikeep..I could afford my child when I had him, good career and working partner.
Shit happens in life, should my child starve because his dad is an abusive arsehole? Or should I leave him home alone so I can continue my career regularly working until midnight.?
Maybe they should send out a letter to all the non resident dad's in the country ask if they'd like to check if they're paying any or enough child maintenance?
The answer to that question is most of them are not.

Letters such as this are sent because there are people that abuse the system. They're the people your anger should be directed at.

I

Who the hell said I am not thankful for receiving Tax Credits? I don't like the letter, it's not an 'either or' situation?

As for supporting my life choices - you are not. I paid and continue to pay taxes (because I work full time, in a professional job). I get Tax Credits which go into the pockets of the nursery nurses who look after my DD, their managers and back into the economy.

If you want more money, get a better job! Why should a company just pay you more?

Astonishing. Are you by any chance in possession of a brain? I haven't got time to go through a point by point of how retarded your statement here is, but as an example, nurses aren't even paid enough, should they all quit?

I receive some benefits because of ill health. DWP always ask my DOB and marital status as the security questions when I call, which is not infrequently due to fun of transitioning onto PIP. I appreciate the safety net given, but I would be lying if my heart doesn't sink a little at the regular reminder that I'm getting older and I'm on my own. Tax Credits accused me of living with someone a year or two ago and, even though they were completely wrong, I did find the wording of the letters a bit intimidating.

Maybe they should send out a letter to all the non resident dad's in the country ask if they'd like to check if they're paying any or enough child maintenance?

Yes please.

And they don't, do they...

There are plenty of people who work and pay tax but either don't have kids or earn too much so they don't get anything back in the form of tax credits. You do. But you're having a tantrum because they sent out letters asking you to make sure your claim is still accurate. Really?

I was just grateful to get some help with my ex left. And I'm even more happy that I will be coming off them soon. Certainly not gonna moan when they send a letter that doesn't apply to me and is simply to check.

Every time a thread mentions benefits you'll get people popping up to remind you that you should be grateful you're thrown some crumbs, even though that facilitates you working and paying taxes. You must never complain that the system is faulty, and you don't deserve to be spoken to with respect. In fact, you're an ungrateful bastard that shouldn't have had kids.

I mean what the fuck? It makes me so angry that people can be so smug and narrow minded.

the OP's reaction to the letter was still childish and over the top.
If your office sends you a letter asking to confirm your next of kin, you wouldn't translate it as HR snooping about your private life and checking your current dating status, you just take it as them updating their records for life insurance and so on.

I don't think HMRC has the time or the way to put a special note on their database about newsparklythings being touchy and offended by a random generic letter.

That's genius.....yes, send letters out to all the absent fathers too.

And what about small businesses? Are they sure they are paying the correct amounts of tax etc? Will they prey on disabled people next? Where will it end?

Are they sending letters to other people asking if they are claiming correctly too?

Not exactly the same obviously but at the ages of 16/18/19 a lot of people forget to say that their child is no longer in education/too old so they can't claim any more.
So it's not just single parents.

Jesus Christ. Some people are just on a hairpin trigger for offence.

It’s well known that for years and years successive governments have not made the rules on joint claims clear and there has been massive confusion. Just to get an idea of that, have a quick google on here and read the confusing and conflicting advice given when people asked questions about whether they should be making a joint claim. There were literally hundreds of myths like if your partner had their post sent elsewhere or didn’t stay more than four nights a week you didn’t need to register as a couple.

This clarifies things to all claimants for two reasons:

1. Some people who genuinely believed they had stuck to the rules faced very distressing court cases and loss of income. This makes sure these people don’t fall foul of the rules. The government actually has a duty to make sure they make the rules clear so claimants don’t unwittingly break the law.

2)People who were deliberately dishonestly claiming were using ignorance of the rules to get away with fraud. They cannot do that now as the government has ensured the rules are clarified to all claimants.

And what about small businesses? Are they sure they are paying the correct amounts of tax etc?

Um, yes they are.

To bitch about a standard letter sent to everyone getting that benefit is really bizarre

It’s not sent to everyone. It’s sent to people claiming as single parents.

If your office sends you a letter asking to confirm your next of kin, you wouldn't translate it as HR snooping about your private life and checking your current dating status, you just take it as them updating their records for life insurance and so on.

Yes exactly this. When I got married I changed my beneficiary on my pension. Should my husband predecease me I'll need to change it again but they won't be sending me an annual reminder to rub salt in the wound - they'll be doing it because they need to check.

I refuse to enter a debate about why people decide to have children they can't afford

Twat.

I had dc1 and received a small amount to help pay for childcare to continue to work. How was I to know dc1s dad would fuck off and not pay?
When I fell pregnant with dc2, I forgot to look into my crystal ball to see id be disabled from it permanently. Sorry 🙄

I received the letter too op. I laughed, shoved it in my bag and carried on with my day. Nothing more to it. I called tax credits yesterday funny enough to let them know I’ve been awarded pip, in case it affects how much we get. They asked if any other circumstances had changed at the time, I confirmed they hadn’t and we carried on with our day.

If a benefit fraud is to be successfully prosecuted it would have to be shown theHNRC made reasonable attanoere to make the law and requirements known to the claimant. This is similar owryxor that process.

Imsingle and also received. Didn’t even register with me as something to be offended at.

Not to be harsh but it’s no wonder you have mental health issues if you feel “insulted upset and depressed” following receipt of this letter.

If you want more money, get a better job! Why should a company just pay you more?

Well someone didn't read my full post. I work for the NHS. If every NHS worker who felt underpaid left and got a better job there would be no more NHS.

And my abusive arsehole ex stopped working and eventually left the country to avoid paying maintenance. Meanwhile I'm disabled and work full time whilst caring for a disabled child (who I could afford when I had him) in order to feed, clothe and house said child.

By the way, I claim nothing more than what the system says I'm entitled to. I'm doing my best to get promoted and earn enough to come off TC. I'm almost there, at the cost of my health, physical and mental.

But no, I'm not trying hard enough. I should get a better job, like I'm not going for every opportunity I see, I should have had a crystal ball to see my ex would abuse me and give me no choice but to leave to keep my child safe. These feckless single mothers, should have kept their legs closed, how dare they be irritated by accusatory letters that deliberately look like someone has reported you on first glance.

Give your heads a wobble. Seriously.

@ohreallyohreallyoh

I meant everyone getting that benefit in those same circumstances - in this case, lone parents.

but it's not money you receive in exchange of work or a service you provide is it

Erm....Tax Credits cover a portion of my childcare...which means I go out and, you know, work.

Ellendegeneres
give me a break, courts don't give everything to one person and nothing to the other when they divorce. If your ex doesn't fulfill his legal obligations, that's another problem, but you can take enforcement actions. Of course, practically, you won't see an immediate result.

Ellendegeneres - pip is hard to get, but some morons will still argue till they're blue in the face that you should be working. My father gets pip, as he suffered an brain injury and has a carer, but they're still assessing him for work eligibility regularly, on the off chance that his permanent, completely irreversible brain injury miraculously vanishes. It's almost funny.

It’s the companies who are being subsidised to pay low wages.

Don’t blame the people who need to claim them to survive.

All but the very lowest paid jobs in a society should provide enough to house and feed a family.

These days the majority of jobs don’t.