to feel insulted, upset and depressed at letter from tax credits?

[newsparklythings]

Every tax credits letter I have received up to now has been the standard form, which I have filled in and sent back. that doesn't stop them cocking up the payments of course - one year they decided they had over-paid and just.. stopped them 6 months into the tax year (luckily I had savings to live on). They have done the same this year with a month to go to April so not quite as bad but not great either.

But now they have sent a letter with the headline:

"Your tax credit award - should you be making a joint claim.."

It might also seem like a standard letter to some, but as a single parent it feels like I'm being accused of something. I mean, the last time I checked I didn't have a man hiding under my bed or supplying me with big bundles of cash. But the letter is kind of saying they don't trust that I have got that bit right. By suggesting that I 'might just want to check' that I am not a single person.

Another bit of the letter reads:

"I would like you to reconsider your current circumstances and check if you should be claiming as part of a couple."

Now, just thinking through my 'circumstances'.. DD's DF pissed off when I was 6 weeks pregnant (so, single then).. I was pregnant with serious MH issues as a result through my pregnancy (so, single).. gave birth alone (alone, so single).. and have raised DD alone for a number of years since. Her DF cannot even be bothered to meet her, so there is little chance really of us shacking up together. And as I have practically zero support and work full-time, and have barely ever been able to do anything on my own (like, pee) since she was born.. I would say I am still single.

But 'Darren' from HMRC thinks I might just want to check.

newsparklythings Tue 20-Mar-18 16:51:28 Who the hell said I am not thankful for receiving Tax Credits? I don't like the letter, it's not an 'either or' situation? As for supporting my life choices - you are not. I paid and continue to pay taxes (because I work full time, in a professional job). I get Tax Credits which go into the pockets of the nursery nurses who look after my DD, their managers and back into the economy

Hate to burst your bubble but if you earn under about £40k in the UK you are costing more than you are contributing

the problem is that the OP has a terrible attitude on this thread and is winding people up

Its not the op doing this

I must have received half a dozen letter from the school since last summer asking to make sure we register if we are eligible for Free Meals (as opposed to Universal Free Meals).

The OP would take it as a personal attack, the school trying to snoop about her finances, insinuating that she can't feed her children or god knows what.
Normal people just ignore the letter because it doesn't apply to them. Some who should apply ignore as well unfortunately, hence the many reminders
IT'S NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK! The school is not making a judgment about your parenting, they are chasing funding!
And neither is the letter the OP received judgmental or worth of upset or depression

Hate to burst your bubble but if you earn under about £40k in the UK you are costing more than you are contributing

Oh, sweetheart, you think everyone on under 40k is a slacker and should get a different job? surely you aren't that stupid? You poor sod.
I hope you never need your arse wiping in a care home, or love anyone that does. Those poor buggers are on minimum wage. I'd like to see you sneer at them while they were doing that.

How is it not judgemental? These letters are sent only to single parents. They could, for example, be sent to every claimant as a reminder to check circumstances (particularly as £millions in benefits goes unclaimed). That would absolutely be non-judgemental. But tagetting a specific group suggests a belief that only the specific group needs to check their circumstances.

ohreally

Yeah that was my point (but much better put)

I'm not sure if YABU about the letter but you are definitely not BU to feel the way you do about it. I totally understand and would feel the same.

My life circumstances are very, very similar to what you have posted (abusive 'boyfriend' gone before I even knew I was pregnant, never met child, chronic mental health problems, no local family, work full time, terminally single).

But I happen to be a high earner. So don't get subjected to those kind of judgy, depressing letters.

There's nothing I have done to make me 'better' or more 'worthy' than single parents who have to claim tax credits (in fact many would argue I'm 'worse' because I have 3 children and they were all in full time nursery from 2-3 months old). But because I don't have to claim tax credits society lets me get away with it and feels free to sneer at other people in the exact same position working exactly as hard. It's disgusting.

I got the letter last week and I just filed it away tbh. I'm a single mum and I claim everything I'm entitled to, no more and no less. It was pretty obvious that the letter was a standard one, and as I have no concerns about my relationship status I didn't feel judged or scrutinised at all. I'm not ashamed about the money I claim or feel the need to justify it, it's just what should be available in any civilised society. People think that it's easy to live on benefits but in fact you need a huge amount of determination and resilience to do so.

@ohreallyohreallyoh

That is just not true. People on jobseekers need to attend the jobcentre and prove they are meeting requirements all the time. Lone parents on income support due to being unemployed need to attend meetings to help them back into work etc. There are plenty of different ways they approach and deal with different circumstances.

This letter simply applies to this one circumstance. And there's nothing wrong with it.

I can understand feeling a little shock/fright when you first see the title on the letter, but once you realise it's just standard and they're not targeting you, then you forget it and move on. You don't get depressed, upset and insulted.

People on jobseekers also claiming tax credits (which is likely if they have children) would receive this letter only is they were also a single parent. Single parents on Income Support will also be claiming Tax Credits and will also receive the letter. A couple on job seekers and tax credits would ‘t Receive the letter. It’s really not rocket science

And I particularly love how you deny the OP her reaction. how they should react to something.

Wow! Creating ridiculous disabilities?? What an utterly cuntish thing to write.

@ohreallyohreallyoh

The point is they have checks in place for the group's that need those specific checks. Obvisouyl, a couple wouldn't receive this letter because they are absolutely not claiming as a single person whilst living in a couple.

The only people who could possibly be claiming as single whilst living in a couple are the the single parent claimants. That's just a fact - it's not a judgement on that group of people but it would be fucking stupid to send this letter to a couple. It gets sent to the only people who it could possibly apply to. And if you're not in a couple, then you ignore it. There's no harm done. No one has sat in an office, found your name and said "I think X is lieing so I'm sending this letter just to them". It just gets sent to anyone who it might apply to.

It's not an attack on am individual group. How stupid.

A poster on here has said she gets letter asking to confirm her kids are still eligible for school meals. Those letters will only go out to kids on school meals - are they being unfairly targeted? Of course not! They're just CHECKING that the situation hasn't changed.

The hysterical reactions over getting these letters is pathetic. If it doesn't apply to you, then ignore it. The real problem is that OP is obviously not happy with being single and is choosing to vent her anger at HMRC when it's got nothing to do with them.

I was a bit at wilds post so i missed the disabilities comment

And im now doing this again

I got the letter too. Apart from my teen son, the only males to ring the doorbell are the postman and supermarket delivery people.

At the end of the letter it says that you don't have to do anything if you are still single so I've done just that.

Were you claiming tax credits 2-3 years ago? They outsourced looking for cheats to a company called Concentrix who asked for loads of info like bank statements, mortgage statement, utility bills etc They couldn't cope with the sheer volume of paper and stopped a lot of claims including mine. I'm assuming that this letter is a softer approach than Concentrix.

Don't worry

Prob no different to them saying 'are you SURE you have declared all income and savings?' (At least 3 fecking times.)

If you have got nowt to hide you have nowt to worry about.

Op, you're clearly very very angry about your life circumstances and this letter has hit a nerve. It's not a personal attack or accusation at you and clearly it's intent is to prevent fraudulent claims. The author of the letter doesn't know you, they are not accusing you of anything,

I would suggest the anger you're currently feeling and exhibiting is misplaced. I get sometimes it's hard to find someone to blame for our life choices when we are unhappy, but ranting about some generic letter will not make you feel better, and it won't change uour circumstances. I'm sorry.💐

@wildblueberryjam

nasty post.

Well anyway, after having been sidetracked a dozen times my the durka durka durrr tory brigade, I'll say I get where you're coming from, OP. The letter does sound accusatory. Probably aimed at scaring a few people in to owning up.

(as an aside, I'm betting that none of these cunts even claim child benefit, which almost everyone under 100k per annum in the UK with a child gets, because they're just too good for it)

s an aside, I'm betting that none of these cunts even claim child benefit, which almost everyone under 100k per annum in the UK with a child gets, because they're just too good for it)

Its 60k isnt it?

But i agree with the sentiment

Rufus it's a weird one, I think if it's 2 parents each earning £50k they still get it, whereas if you're a single parent earning 60k you don't, I'll have to have a look!

none of these cunts even claim child benefit, which almost everyone under 100k per annum in the UK with a child gets

it's £60k for a start and individual not as a couple, so no, many people are not entitled to anything. Spare me the violins will you, some people give half their salary in tax, so everything they do for 5 months a year is gone to subsidise others, then they pay for their own childcare, their commute and so on, and these people have fuck all help. They then have to find some way to pay for private health care because of the ridiculously long list on the NHS, because these people cannot afford not to work to pay for all that luxury.

When you will see half your income being given away, you come back and tell us how happy you are to contribute to others instead of enjoying the rewards of your own work, will you. It's much easier to rant about not getting enough free money and how unfair the world is because you would like more

Yeah i think you are right kitten

Stupid bloody system if you ask me

I had a freind whose husband was on over 60k and she threw her toys out of the pram and sai 'well i will get a job then and then we can still get it'

No love...thats not how it works

some people give half their salary in tax,

I really dont think they do

I got one today op I just binned it without a 2nd thought, tax credits renewal is coming up so it's worth them sending them out and casting the net to remind people to claim correctly.

It isn't personal and you aren't under any suspicion. The whole over paying thing would annoy me. Claimed tax credits for yrs and never had an issue.