to feel insulted, upset and depressed at letter from tax credits?

[newsparklythings]

Every tax credits letter I have received up to now has been the standard form, which I have filled in and sent back. that doesn't stop them cocking up the payments of course - one year they decided they had over-paid and just.. stopped them 6 months into the tax year (luckily I had savings to live on). They have done the same this year with a month to go to April so not quite as bad but not great either.

But now they have sent a letter with the headline:

"Your tax credit award - should you be making a joint claim.."

It might also seem like a standard letter to some, but as a single parent it feels like I'm being accused of something. I mean, the last time I checked I didn't have a man hiding under my bed or supplying me with big bundles of cash. But the letter is kind of saying they don't trust that I have got that bit right. By suggesting that I 'might just want to check' that I am not a single person.

Another bit of the letter reads:

"I would like you to reconsider your current circumstances and check if you should be claiming as part of a couple."

Now, just thinking through my 'circumstances'.. DD's DF pissed off when I was 6 weeks pregnant (so, single then).. I was pregnant with serious MH issues as a result through my pregnancy (so, single).. gave birth alone (alone, so single).. and have raised DD alone for a number of years since. Her DF cannot even be bothered to meet her, so there is little chance really of us shacking up together. And as I have practically zero support and work full-time, and have barely ever been able to do anything on my own (like, pee) since she was born.. I would say I am still single.

But 'Darren' from HMRC thinks I might just want to check.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 Tue 20-Mar-18 18:56:38
some people give half their salary in tax,

I really dont think they do

= incorrect, my husband does. The fact that you don't know this is concerning.

Some of these posts are really disgusting.
All the talk of life choices is so ignorant, who would choose to be a single parent?
Most of us are making the best of a bad situation, often not of our own making, trying to bring up happy children and work without much help. Sounds like a ball doesn't it.
You all should hope you're husbands don't make the life choice to leave you for a younger prettier more compassionate model, or, god forbid, die.

I felt really worried about it and even started a thread. I have a partner but he lives in his own flat and pays his own rent/bills on said flat. He doesn't live with me or contribute to my household. He stays 1 - 2 nights a week or sometimes none and I stay with him maybe 4 nights a month at his whilst my children are with their dad.

The letter did worry me because I thought why do they need to know I'm in a relationship if he isn't living with me or contributing anything to my household?

It's the wording I think.

ikeepaforkinmypurse not really sure what you're getting at, the only 'benefit' I claim is my child benefit. I'm guessing you don't? Also, like I said inthe post before yours, it's 60k if you're claiming as a single person, but can be up to 100k if you're claiming as a couple.

I had a letter once staying that as I no longer had one of my children they were stopping ctc.

I had to go through hoops to get it back and have no idea how their system thought I'd lost a child. And I really felt for anyone who had getting that letter.

Then I had a "random" eligibility chedck where I had to send of bank details and ID etc s month or so later....

wild

In this uk people do not pay half their salary in tax

Mocha..what about the part that says 'friends and/or family see you as a couple (or see the other person as your partner)'
Does this apply if the points above it don't? (about living together, sharing expenses)

he fact that you don't know this is concerning

Im not actually worng...but why?

wild

To be fair the fact that your husband is in the uk and giving half his salary in tax is very concerning

He should contact the tax office

(It can certainly feel like half I'm sure )

Rufustherenegadereindeer1

We live in the UK and last year my husband paid 45% of his salary in tax. 5% less than half. So yes, it does happen.

I honestly don't know why people get so touchy on here about things - yes, people do use "made up" disabilities to claim. No, of course it's not the majority, but some do! And yes, some people do have a string of children and claim benefits/don't work. And that's not fair on all the people working their arses off.

@Rufustherenegadereindeer1

In Scotland if you earn over £150,000 then you pay 45%.

My dad was an expat most of his working life but he did occasionally work here for a couple of years every so often and paid 40% or 45% (I can't remember what the rate was when he was working - he's retired now).

wild you are a nasty piece of work with your vile comments to Ellen

We live in the UK and last year my husband paid 45% of his salary in tax. 5% less than half. So yes, it does happen

So not half...nearly half on his salary between

I appreciate you think im being pedantic but i wasnt wrong ...he isnt paying half

Off to the pub so im not ignoring you

I just honestly don't understand why someone would have a second child if they are struggling to afford one already? And I am genuinely interested in what disability has caused her to be unable to work. I am interested! People are just so damn touchy on here it's unreal...

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 haha fine, fine - 5% off but you are right - not exactly half! ;) Enjoy the pub

wildblueberryjam

If your husband earned £200,000 he'd take home £116,676. Does your husband earn more than £200,000 per year?

@Rufustherenegadereindeer1

You also lose £1 from your personal allowance for every £2 you earn over £100,000. So someone earning £125000 or more loses their personal tax free allowance and is taxed on the whole lot.

KittenBeast - yes, and that makes sense about the amount of tax he paid this year just gone.

Username182 that's what confused me because of course friends and family see us as a couple But that still doesn't mean we share finances.

We have plans to move in together maybe this year or next and that's when Tax Credits will need to know because we will be merging finances. At the moment it's all separate and he pays his bills at his home and I pay mine at my home. He doesn't contribute anything to my household because he doesn't need to

That must be really hard for you Wild

Oh I see, wildblueberryjam so you can't possibly identify with your average mumsnetter, then? while you bang on about them being irresponsible tarts for having children when they weren't rolling in their husbands cash?

Try not having a TV licence.

Those letters are very threatening. You have to confirm over and over that you don't have a TV and they threaten court & prison.

It's not personal,

KittenBeast when did I say that? Stop exaggerating for effect! How much my husband makes now has nothing to do with my upbringing or how much we both used to make/how hard I have to work. Inverted snobbery is ridiculous. My original comment stated how I think tax credits are excellent when used for people who are squeezed and working hard eg nurses and teachers. I don't think it's fine to just irresponsibly have children though, no. Accidents/deaths/husbands sodding off happen though, but to have additional children after that is careless, and expecting hard working tax payers (most of whom earn far less) to pick up the bill isn't right. I seem to have touched a nerve with you!

Oh for fuck sake. Some people really have nothing better to do than complain and be offended, do!

@ikeepaforkinmypurse

Sounds like YOU are the one expecting a tiny violin to be played. 'Some have to pay half their salary in tax.... and STILL have to find money for childcare and their commute!' (THE FUCKING LOW EARNERS HAVE TO PAY FOR THEIR COMMUTE AND CHILDCARE TOO FFS!!!)

'And the '£60K a year plus' earners have to pay for private health care.'

LOADA WANK! NO reason why they cannot use NHS like every other fucker.

You are a typical clueless plonker who thinks £60K is a fairly low fucking salary. You are talking crap. And so is @wildblueberryjam You are both talking shit, and making up stuff as you go along! And there is no inverted snobbery on here! Just people getting pissed off at people talking utter fucking shit!