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Original poster

to feel insulted, upset and depressed at letter from tax credits?

223 replies

newsparklythings · 20/03/2018 15:47

Every tax credits letter I have received up to now has been the standard form, which I have filled in and sent back. that doesn't stop them cocking up the payments of course - one year they decided they had over-paid and just.. stopped them 6 months into the tax year (luckily I had savings to live on). They have done the same this year with a month to go to April so not quite as bad but not great either.

But now they have sent a letter with the headline:

"Your tax credit award - should you be making a joint claim.."

It might also seem like a standard letter to some, but as a single parent it feels like I'm being accused of something. I mean, the last time I checked I didn't have a man hiding under my bed or supplying me with big bundles of cash. But the letter is kind of saying they don't trust that I have got that bit right. By suggesting that I 'might just want to check' that I am not a single person.

Another bit of the letter reads:

"I would like you to reconsider your current circumstances and check if you should be claiming as part of a couple."

Now, just thinking through my 'circumstances'.. DD's DF pissed off when I was 6 weeks pregnant (so, single then).. I was pregnant with serious MH issues as a result through my pregnancy (so, single).. gave birth alone (alone, so single).. and have raised DD alone for a number of years since. Her DF cannot even be bothered to meet her, so there is little chance really of us shacking up together. And as I have practically zero support and work full-time, and have barely ever been able to do anything on my own (like, pee) since she was born.. I would say I am still single.

But 'Darren' from HMRC thinks I might just want to check.

OP posts:
darkriver198868 · 20/03/2018 15:49

Its a standard letter that has been sent out to most people claiming alone.

dementedpixie · 20/03/2018 15:49

This is a generic letter sent to hundreds if not thousands of people. There are loads of threads about it

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 20/03/2018 15:50

I am guessing that it's a standard letter, not sure why you need to take it personally.

TheOriginalEmu · 20/03/2018 15:50

it's not a personal insult. they've been sent out to most single claimants from what i can see of it. just ignore it.

DonutCone · 20/03/2018 15:51

I think you need to chill out a bit. It's a standard letter.

LimonViola · 20/03/2018 15:53

It's not personal.

The reality is, people do fraudulently claim, or misrepresent their circumstances to claim as single and get more money than if they reported their relationship.

If it weren't for that being an issue they wouldn't even have to send this kind of thing. Your anger is misdirected.

Birdsgottafly · 20/03/2018 15:55

I used to get the same. I even had a phone call once. I confirmed that my DH was still dead.

Perhaps they should hang signs up in he Houses of Parliament that says "Do you really need to eat /drink free, or subsidised by MW LPs".. Just to even things up.

Hedgehoghogger · 20/03/2018 15:55

I completely understand how you feel - I had one a few years back and they made me prove I was single (by insisting my ex husband supplied his utility bills at his address despite a 3 year old divorce). Apparently divorce certificate was not evidence as we might have done that to falsley claim credits Hmm

It was really anxiety provoking as the wording is so accusatory and there is the real worry they will take things away. You will be fine. But I understand how you feel Flowers

Avasarala · 20/03/2018 16:00

I got one of those. There was another thread the other week from someone else who got one.

But it's a standard letter they send periodically to everyone - and it probably does catch a few people who have recently changed circumstances but forgotten to call.

No one is attacking you or insulting you. They're giving you free money; getting the odd letter like that is a fair exchange.

reallyanotherone · 20/03/2018 16:00

It’s not accusing you, it’s asking to consider. You have, you’re not, so don’t give it a moments thought.

There are people out there that claim as a single parent when they aren’t. Often not even intending to defraud. One woman i know sees herself, and refers to herself as a single parent. She got herself in a bit of a mess because she claimed as a single parent- but she lives with her partner. In her mind though he’s not the kids dad and she is solely responsible for the kids, including financially.

Many people often forget to change their claim when they move in together too.

There are so many different set ups these days that sometimes it needs outlining what is classed as not single for various living situations...

WorraLiberty · 20/03/2018 16:06

If it was personal, they'd be knocking at your door.

It's just a standard letter.

Original poster
newsparklythings · 20/03/2018 16:07

They're giving you free money;

Is that really how you see it?

You do understand that it goes on childcare, and does not even make up the whole childcare payment?

OP posts:
ThinkingQueSeraSera · 20/03/2018 16:09

Yes you're being overly sensitive; maybe appreciate receiving them instead of bitching about a generic letter?

Newsofas · 20/03/2018 16:10

I claim single person council tax discount. Every year I get a letter asking me to confirm that I’m still the only adult in the house. Am I offended? Of course not they are doing their job. It is right they should ask regularly.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 20/03/2018 16:11

They're giving you free money;
Is that really how you see it?

bit harsh, but it's not money you receive in exchange of work or a service you provide is it.

TheHungryDonkey · 20/03/2018 16:12

Yeah I know how you feel. It’s the tone isn’t it? Makes you feel like you’ve done something fraudulent. The way it’s worded just isn’t very nice. Darren Snowball’s a wanker. He probably doesn’t even exist he’s a computer name for reference.

Knittedfairies · 20/03/2018 16:14

It is a standard letter - and the OP knows that - but I can see why it hit a sore spot. It's like me getting a letter addressed to MrKnitted's dad (deceased). I know it's a standard letter, just as I know my dad is deceased, but it still stings a bit.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 20/03/2018 16:14

Fair enough they need to clarify what the definition of living as a couple means to prevent confusion but I think it's the accusatory wording.

Come on, most people fraudulently claiming to be single know what they're doing. It's hardly going to prick their conscience.

I suppose they have to make it crystal clear so that claimants can't pretend they didn't understand that having a partner counted as being in a couple. Confused

We've had 2 tax years where we've been told the credits previously have been overpaid and the whole thing stopped and we owe them money, despite an accountant going through dh's income for the year.
I hate those forms!

Commuterface · 20/03/2018 16:18

You really feel upset, insulted and depressed by that?

RhodaBorrocks · 20/03/2018 16:22

I got one of these last week. I just laughed long and hard at being asked to just double check if I was in a relationship, you know, in case I'd forgotten.

Fuck off, Daz, yeah?

*Many people often forget to change their claim when they move in together too.

There are so many different set ups these days that sometimes it needs outlining what is classed as not single for various living situations...*

The letter actually states that even if you don't live together, if you're in any kind of relationship where you're acknowledged as a couple you need to declare their income too. I wonder what the cut off is? When you've been together 3 months? When you change your Facebook relationship status? On the 2nd date? When you swipe right? I can imagine that going down like a cup of cold sick if I were to meet someone now. "Ok, we've been together 6 weeks and my friends accept you as my boyfriend. Please divulge all your financial info so that Tax Credits can decide to stop my claim and make you responsible for a child you haven't even met yet."

RhodaBorrocks · 20/03/2018 16:22

Bold fail. FFS.

Original poster
newsparklythings · 20/03/2018 16:23

Darren Snowball’s a wanker. He probably doesn’t even exist thanks HungryDonkey the penny actually hadn't dropped on that one.. Darren Snowball is a tit if he does exist but you are probably right there.

yes it's the tone, and the fact I come home every day and there is never even one person here to ask how my day was and vent to in any way, ever, and then picking up a letter like this (not saying it's the only one) really grates.

OP posts:
Avasarala · 20/03/2018 16:26

@newsparklythings

As I said - I got one too.. So clearly, I also claim as a single parent. I get a small amount towards my childcare but I used to get more.

It helps, but it is free money. Doesn't matter if it's for childcare of food - it's money we get without doing anything to earn it. Many, many countries do not give help like that.

Our system might be broken, but we have one and the majority of people who access it don't have problems. To bitch about a standard letter sent to everyone getting that benefit is really bizarre. They give you money for nothing - unless they screw something up, don't moan.

RunMummyRun68 · 20/03/2018 16:26

I'd find it insulting too

Are they sending letters to other people asking if they are claiming correctly too? Or just women alone bringing up children scaring the life out of them with letters like this!? There have been loads of threads like this one lately, people were genuinely worried

SpringNowPlease2018 · 20/03/2018 16:27

OP "You do understand that it goes on childcare, and does not even make up the whole childcare payment?"

Mostly it's money people are given for a choice they made - to have a child. I appreciate some people will have gotten pregnant not by choice and felt they couldn't abort/adopt but generally we have a choice about having DC now.

I don't really understand why you are upset by this letter. They are sending out generic letters about this.