to feel insulted, upset and depressed at letter from tax credits?

[newsparklythings]

Every tax credits letter I have received up to now has been the standard form, which I have filled in and sent back. that doesn't stop them cocking up the payments of course - one year they decided they had over-paid and just.. stopped them 6 months into the tax year (luckily I had savings to live on). They have done the same this year with a month to go to April so not quite as bad but not great either.

But now they have sent a letter with the headline:

"Your tax credit award - should you be making a joint claim.."

It might also seem like a standard letter to some, but as a single parent it feels like I'm being accused of something. I mean, the last time I checked I didn't have a man hiding under my bed or supplying me with big bundles of cash. But the letter is kind of saying they don't trust that I have got that bit right. By suggesting that I 'might just want to check' that I am not a single person.

Another bit of the letter reads:

"I would like you to reconsider your current circumstances and check if you should be claiming as part of a couple."

Now, just thinking through my 'circumstances'.. DD's DF pissed off when I was 6 weeks pregnant (so, single then).. I was pregnant with serious MH issues as a result through my pregnancy (so, single).. gave birth alone (alone, so single).. and have raised DD alone for a number of years since. Her DF cannot even be bothered to meet her, so there is little chance really of us shacking up together. And as I have practically zero support and work full-time, and have barely ever been able to do anything on my own (like, pee) since she was born.. I would say I am still single.

But 'Darren' from HMRC thinks I might just want to check.

OP you are ridiculously over-reacting and take it way too personally. HMRC does not give a monkey about your private life, only in the legal facts that affect your rights and entitlements.

Totally get you on the chronically long term on your owness. I don’t even want to be in another relationship, but occasionally never having someone there just for a laugh or commiseration is tough. Do feel free to drop by for a coffee Darren.

You're overreacting, it's just a standard letter.

I understand, OP. I get the measly 25% single person discount on my Council Tax and recently got a letter basically accusing me of lying because my children still showed as being registered to vote at my address.

Yes, because they were students who chose postal voting from my address, and weren't registered to pay CT at their own, real addresses, BECAUSE THEY WERE STUDENTS AND NOT LIABLE FOR CT.

Made me proper mad. I had to sign to swear legally that I lived alone. Yeah, freezing in a house I can't afford to heat because I live alone and the bills (especially the fucking council tax) are crippling me!

Yep I had one of those in the past, it's a standard letter but a waste of time really because people don't 'forget' to update their circumstances, they choose not to. Receiving a letter won't change their mind. If you genuinely 'forgot' you would soon remember when you got the next payment.

You're offended because someone has asked you to check it you're still eligible. You're easily offended imo.
I have to reconfirm my earnings with the tax free childcare system every few months. It never occurred to me to be offended about that.
I can see how being a single parent is hard but your reaction to this is OTT.

Zaphod "I had to sign to swear legally that I lived alone"

me too. not sure why everyone is angry is about this?

bit harsh, but it's not money you receive in exchange of work or a service you provide is it.

Nope, people should be paid enough from their employers to survive, tbh. Childcare shouldn't be a days wage on a low income, Tax credits aren't free cash for jollies, you know?

There are loads of people who fraudulently claim. This letter is just a reminder to all lone parent claims that they should be abiding by the rules. Why are you taking personally. We should think ourselves very lucky in this country that there is this kind of support. Instead of moaning about wording on a letter. Which is perfectly acceptable.

They're giving you free money;
Is that really how you see it?

bit harsh, but it's not money you receive in exchange of work or a service you provide is it.

If we all got paid a fair living wage in line with inflation then I could see your point. But as someone who slogs my guts out for the NHS and has only ever sees a 1% pay rise in the past 8 years (and I've only been there 9 years), I like many public sector workers, earn less each year in real terms.

And don't suggest the Mumsnet classic to "Get a better job". If all NHS staff who felt underpaid left then the NHS would crumble, leaving only the senior managers behind. And they couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery.

I think it's ok to have a moan on here when some small thing like this just tips you over the edge
You read something like that and start to feel anxious that someone has falsely reported you for benefit fraud or something.

drop by for a coffee Darren made me laugh

"Free money"

I no longer claim TC, but for the period of time where I was by myself and having to claim, I would have worked any amount of hours under the sun NOT to claim TC. The fucking stress they put you through hardly makes it free.

Still paying back thousands worth of overpayments, despite me updating them of my circumstances as and when they happened.

Shower of fucking bandits, wouldn't wish claiming tax credits on my worst enemy.

As others have said it is a standard letter. It’s one which has been sent out on legal advice I believe.

Quite a few people were being acquitted of making fraudulent claims as single parents by saying they did not know they had to change from a single to joint claim as a couple. It was becoming a standard defence.

They’re sending the letter out as a formality to:

a) make sure everyone knows their responsibilities

b) Make sure the dishonest with an intention to defraud can’t use unawareness of the rules as a defence.

Fair enough they need to clarify what the definition of living as a couple means to prevent confusion but I think it's the accusatory wording.

Come on, most people fraudulently claiming to be single know what they're doing. It's hardly going to prick their conscience.

Maybe the tone of the letter is accusatory on purpose to suggest to the individual that they know they're claiming fraudulently. The person may not have a conscience, but a letter like that might make them think that whoever this letter comes from is on to them and they better report that they aren't single.

Thanks Rhonda you said it better than I did :)

Tax credits aren't free cash for jollies, you know?
I wasn't aware they were given under strict condition that they would be spent in specific areas, I was mistaken in believing people could do chose to spend them the way they wanted, my apologies.

I refuse to enter a debate about why people decide to have children they cannot afford.

*Rhoda! oops

It is not free money, it is part of the tax system that we have because yes, we live in the UK. I paid into the system at a pretty decent level for many years before becoming a single parent and don't feel bad for taking some out now, especially when it is used for childcare so that I can go to work.

Don't even get me started on the number of people who just assume that because I'm a single parent must be raking in benefits, living off their money.

ikeepaforkinmypurse don't be an imbecile. It's not all black and white, and you can't just make blanket statements. But let's not get in to it, eh?

I think they are doing this to get people to move on to Universal Credit. Any change of circumstances will mean they will get you on UC.

I refuse to enter a debate about why people decide to have children they can't afford

Well thank fuck for that. Circumstances change. Your argument has more holes than a bloody colander. This is the second time I've seen this nonsense spouted on here today.

Maybe you should be thankful you get tax credits? The rest of us are supporting your life choices, I don't get anything back!

If we all got paid a fair living wage in line with inflation then I could see your point

If you want more money, get a better job! Why should a company just pay you more?

It’s not intended to prick anybody’s conscience. It’s just closing a legal loophole which effectively made this type of benefit fraud legal as long as your lawyer knew the get out (which most of them did).

@newsparklythings

It's part of a tax system that has to pay for EVERYTHING else as well - nhs, school, pensions, public services. All of it.

Soon, I probably won't be eligible to get much but at the moment, I get tax credits so I'm absolutely entitled to an opinion about them. There's nothing wrong with claiming if you need to but having a massive overreaction then nothing session because they sent you a standard letter is ridiculous. They're giving you money because you had a kid - they do not need to do that. I am very grateful for the help I got when I needed it and certainly wouldn't start moaning about a completely standard letter which you're told to ignore if it doesn't apply.