BIL birthday - OTT?

[chorltonwheelies]

He’s 50 this year. Same week as my birthday and DD will be 7.

Family know we are skint. SIL has determined that a nice thing to do would be to buy him new Mont Blanc pen. Requiring £150 contribution from each of his 3 siblings.

That’s more than I can spend on DD present & she’s not having a party.

In addition BIL wants family lunch at swanky London hotel on the Saturday. It’s my birthday that day. I won’t be able to take DC & can’t afford an all day babysitter.

We have 5 DC & as I said on another thread, money is extremely tight. Family know this. Being put on spot to respond by Parents in law who are going to lunch but not contributing to pen. They are skint too.

Other siblings don’t have kids apart from BIL whose DS is Year 11 & able to come. AIBU to think this is inconsiderate/OTT.

They aren’t open to considering any other plan.

I guess it might partly have been a duty invite and they didn’t expect you to come?

If he wants that meal for his birthday that’s up to him. But I certainly wouldn’t expect a 50 year old with, er, cosmopolitan taste to go down the local Harvester just because a relative chose to have five kids.

I said the same Millie, it's so identifying it's either designed by the OP to bring things to a head or not true!

@Auditqueen for you. Your SIL sounds awful. Events shouldn’t revolve around children, especially when there’s people there who don’t have them. Better for children to be introduced to, and learn to get along in, events that suit everyone.

Cueominousmusic I think a vocational role is when you train specifically for that role - plumber, dentist etc. Anybody can go into marketing, be an estate agent etc.

Millie has the role right. When the OP mentioned her DH has to work half of Christmas Day I was pretty certain she had posted before about her DH’s job.
The reason I mentioned it was that his family must know that he won’t have a high income given what he does.

I read a book once where when the husband said he wanted Mont Blanc, he meant he wanted a mountain of cream around his penis.

Those pens are very Emperor's New Clothes. They look like the ones you can get for £15 in W.H. Smith. I feel a bit sorry for anyone who's paid for one!

I like a previous poster's idea of adding up all the money your husband spent on his family this year and give him the total. Might make him think.

gdaymatey 🤢

Now that’s a potential misunderstanding of immense proportions

It would make the gift giving in at the restaurant table very interesting. 🤣

It's been a while since I've seen Mont Blanc, but isn't the snow on top?

I'm sure I read that book...

I sympathize, OP. My 3 siblings are all corporate or legal hot shots. I work in the third sector. They are genuinely flummoxed when I say I can't afford to do things they take for granted. I'd opt out.

Mint blanc 🤣🤣🤮

Mint = Mont

So what was the outcome OP?

How the fuck can a pen cost £450? What does it do for that kind of money? That is actually fucking disgraceful.

I'd tell them I'm not contributing or coming to the meal but will make a charity donation in his name as a present instead. To a charity that teaches people to read or write or something.