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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to leave my 1 year old for a week?

103 replies

Happystpatricks1 · 19/03/2018 22:16

Dh has won an award (he’s a scientist) and there is a ceremony in Arizona to present the awards. It is a big deal and I’m very happy for him but it is a week long trip away from ds who will be 15 months by then. I have never left him even overnight before but dh isn’t really bothered and thinks ds will have a great time with my sister - yes I do trust her to look after him but a week seems like a long time to be away?

OP posts:

OwlinaTree · 19/03/2018 22:17

Why can't he come with you?

Crispbutty · 19/03/2018 22:17

I would go. It’s a big thing for your husband. Your son will be absolutely fine with his auntie. You can FaceTime and see him every day.

TalkFastThinkSlow · 19/03/2018 22:20

My son is nearly 2, and I would feel the same. So we would all go together. That isn't an option?

TheRebel · 19/03/2018 22:21

I know how you feel, and I wouldn’t be able to do it either, is there no chance of taking him with you?

puglife15 · 19/03/2018 22:23

YANBU. Take him, he will fly for free.

Could you afford to fly your sister over, alternatively? She could look after him a bit.

Ickyockycocky · 19/03/2018 22:23

I would not have been able to leave my DC at that age.

nuttyknitter · 19/03/2018 22:23

If he's never been left overnight I certainly wouldn't want to leave him for a week, especially as it's so far away. In some ways FaceTime could make the separation worse too - if he's upset, you'll both feel worse.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/03/2018 22:24

How well does he know your sister? How much time have you got to prep? I would think it’s doable but I’d probably rather take him and have an anonymous babysitter for that night.

I left DS for 2 1/2 nights (left for a v early flight) when he was 7 months and it was fine. Left him again for 2 nights when he was 19 months. That’s the longest I’ve ever been away. I think we’d manage 3 consecutive nights but I wouldn’t be keen on more.

Anniegetyourgun · 19/03/2018 22:25

A week's a bloody long time for such a small child IMO.

Cheby · 19/03/2018 22:26

NFW would I be leaving my 1 year old for a week! I’d either take him or not go. My DH would not want to leave our 1yo (or 5yo for that matter) for a full week.

andadietcoke · 19/03/2018 22:30

I travelled a lot for work when my DTs were little. When there was a big time difference it was easier for me because I could say goodnight to them and then enjoy my day knowing they were sleeping, and then when they were awake I was asleep so not worrying about them/missing them so much. It made it easier to cope with. They were absolutely fine without me. My sister has just left her 12mo DD with my Mum for 5 nights and she's been fine.

Original poster

Happystpatricks1 · 20/03/2018 00:31

My sister has him every Friday when I’m at work but he has never stayed overnight with her. It’s a private plane and adults only trip so no children aloud, he goes to nursery 2 mornings a week so my sister could still take him there to keep his routine?

OP posts:

MyKingdomForBrie · 20/03/2018 00:37

I’d go, he’ll be fine. My dd is 18 months and has had a couple of very happy long weekends with my mum, she’d be fine for a week too.

onemoreshotofcoffee · 20/03/2018 00:37

Record bedtime stories for every night on an iPad, FaceTime him everyday.

I've been there and yes the plane was gut wrenching, but seriously it's 7 nights.

Go, relax, he will be fine.

Juiceylucy09 · 20/03/2018 00:43

How long have you got until the trip.

Do some practice sleepover nights, then maybe a weekend, if you have the time before and your Dsis is happy too.

It sounds like a great trip. I'd fly separately with DS if the sleepovers fail.

VladmirsPoutine · 20/03/2018 00:47

Just go. If you trust your sister then just start planning your outfits. He is one. If your sister is able to entertain him and keep him warm and fed then that's all that's needed. Scientists don't win awards everyday with a private plane to fly them to Arizona.

emmyrose2000 · 21/03/2018 00:33

I'd go, and leave the baby with your sister.

This sounds like a big deal for your husband and I'd want to support him in that.

steff13 · 21/03/2018 00:37

I'd go. This may be once in a lifetime for your husband. Your son won't remember. I'd do the practice sleepovers, as PP suggested.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 21/03/2018 10:51

Practice sleepovers and maybe ask your sister if she’d like you to see if nursery can have him a bit more that week?

SometimesMaybe · 21/03/2018 10:54

I would go - it might be a long time before you get a hold free break again!
Though I completely understand you not wanting to leave a one year old for a week. What about you come home early? Go out on the flight with Dh and stay for 3/4 nights then come home? Jet lag would be a killer but everyone would be happy.

Trailedanderror · 21/03/2018 10:57

Blimey I’d go. I’d want to support my DH. Your ds will be fine with your sister.

ItchyKondera · 21/03/2018 11:02

I'd go!!! We left our 14 month old for a week with my parents (ok it was for our Honeymoon so no way he was coming with us) and i wouldn't hesitate to do it again.
We then had another kid free holiday a year later.
Getting that time just the 2 of you is brilliant!

I would say though - face time confused him as he wondered why we were there but not there, so it did upset him (for about 30 seconds).

Whenthereshope · 21/03/2018 11:05

I wouldn't have left my baby for a week at that age. I'd throw out a compromise that you and baby or all of you will get your own flights. Say £600 a flight ish? So a 600-1200 compromise. Let him put his money where his mouth is 😀

Aprilmightmemynewname · 21/03/2018 11:08

Ds is 3 and most I have left him is 2 nights. He isn't a pfb either!!

FleurDelacoeur · 21/03/2018 11:14

Go!!! You have a trusted person to leave your little one with and this is a chance of a lifetime.

Have fun.

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