That a 40 year old man child is pathetic not endearing?

[RoryAndLogan]

My cousins husband has posted online about meal prep she has done for him. She's going away with work for 3 days, and has filled the fridge with Tupperware labelled 'breakfast', 'lunch' and 'dinner' for each day.

His post was 'wife goals! No going hungry for me!'

He's 39 years old.

She's mentioned in the past how if she's ever away he will just eat pizza if she doesn't prepare his meals as he can't do anything else and talks about it like it's endearing and sweet

AIBU that this isn't at all endearing, but pathetic?

I'm just intrigued to know what's in the tupperware labelled breakfast. A handful of cornflakes and some of those coffee mate milk things? Some soggy toast? How the hell can you prepare breakfast days in advance. Apart from that, not two shits given really. If it works for them all well and good although everyone reading on whatever site he's posted on will be rolling their eyes thinking what a manchild he is.

I'm really surprised at the response OP is getting here! This is completely pathetic, and I'd similarly be embarrassed for both of them. A woman I know once posted on Facebook that she'd been a 'good wifey' and just finished all the ironing. I defriended her, and happily at the same time about halved the number of bullshit memes in my life. I realise this may not be an option for your cousin, though...

Sidestepping whether this is OK or not, I'm just boggling at the idea of putting breakfast in a labelled box in the fridge. What's in there? Cold scrambled egg and a piece of soggy toast to go in the microwave? Individual packet of cornflakes and a measured amount of milk?

Moving on to lunch - day 1, OK, ham sandwich, apple, one or two other things, not too bad. Day 2, cheese and pickle sandwich - bread by now either rather dry or getting a bit soggy from the pickle. Day 3 - tuna mayo, bread totally sodden from the mayonnaise.

Please tell me this couple don't have children.

YANBU, then again people find strange shit to share/talk about! any of the of 'goals' phrases really piss me off, can't quite put my finger on it, just makes me think what an absolute wanker.

No I meant more putting a plug on (that’s not needed anymore,) a small piece of furniture together, sort finances out

Might struggle to put the bin bags out too

I am surprised you have never come across women like this

YANBU as such OP, but opinion is really divided on MN about things like this. I suppose it largely depends on whether people prefer a cohabiting romantic partnership or a codependant role based relationship.

But I can personally think of nothing worse than living with a partner who is perfectly physically capable of fending for themselves but has such a strong preference for being parented by his partner anyway that he posts about it on social media.

I see many of us are fixated on the breakfast conundrum!

Each to their own is what I say. If push comes to shove I'm sure he'd eventually learn cooking basics. If they have somebody that "mothers" them, then they have no incentive to learn.

It was very common "back in the day". My dad basically went straight from his mums when he married my mum (they were 19 getting married). He hadn't got a clue how to run a house or cook. When my mum left I had to look after the house and my sister. Probably not something a child should have to do, but it gave me some very good life skills.
My partner is pretty clueless as well. His mum used to do everything for him even when he lived on his own (he seriously used to take his washing to his parents on the weekends, and his mum would send him home with washed & ironed clothes and a load of food - he was in his late 30s!). First thing I did was teach him how to use the washing machine, how to iron a shirt and some basic cooking skills. He's still pretty shit at cooking and will default to ready meals or oven chips etc. So I still do the cooking. He's pretty handy with a hoover at least.

I'd be embarrassed if someone had done this for me when I was 15 let alone 40.

Meh. Some people hate cooking. I really don't like de-icing the car, not because I'm a princess I just hate doing it. My DH will often do it for me. Makes my life a bit easier.

Presumably they have no DC?

If he’s a father and can’t or won’t do cooking basics then he’s pathetic IMO. And she’s doing no one any favours by facilitating him to do fuck all cooking.

I do find that people who have close, cuddly, loving relationships, incur bitterness and jealousy from those who are not in great relationships. Reading through the thread, it seems a few others are as bitter and jealous as the OP

Fucking hell, deffo not jealous or bitter. This to me is not indicative of a 'close, cuddly, loving relationship.'

You sound like someone who posts photos of knock-off Michael Kors bags with the caption 'lolz, thanks hubby! #princess #spoilt'

DP can cook quite well and I know he'd feed himself fine if I left for a few days but I would probably leave him a couple of suppers. We tend to split the cooking anyway so I'd do it so he had a couple of easy meals, to be kind. I wouldn't be offended if he hadn't eaten it as long as it hadn't been wasted. I'd be ok with it in the freezer.

Went home recently to look after DM after an op, she was v pleased to see me as DF has no interest in food and she was by then desperate for proper meals made fresh, not sandwiches or tinned soup. DF has ulcers and a bird appetite and survives perfectly well on a limited diet with tiny snacky meals and the odd big meal. He can cater for himself v well but is unlikely to start making proper meals for DM as he's no use for cooking. He's 83.

It's interesting how all the 'equivalent male tasks' that people keep positing - car maintenance/deicing, taking the bins out, DIY, 'doing the finances' (whatever the fuck that is - don't you just have direct debits, like everyone else?) - take a tiny fraction of the time that cooking daily does. I say interesting, I mean depressingly predictable. 'Oh, I do 15 hours of cooking and housework a week, but he spends 10 minutes taking the bins out, so of course ours is a completely equal relationship!'

It's not necessarily a generation thing, my parents are in their late 80s, they frequently travel without each other and neither would dream of infantalising the other in such a way.

'wife goals'??? There's something really fucking creepy about that.

The rest, who cares? Although I do wonder if shes left a damp flannel in a zippy bag to wipe his face and hands after each meal...

...' all the women I know are completely competent...'

This has to be the most monumentally stupid thing I've heard here for ages. and given the utter shite these pages are full of, it's saying something.

Either you know, what, 3 women, or you don't have a clue what 'competent' means.

[bangs head against wall].

The 'wife goals' thing is a silly, tired old FB hashtag thing.

Oh my god, I'd unfriend immediately - after posting "yes it's a really hard job for a grown man putting bread in the toaster, thank heavens he's got you".

Some people have no shame.

DH works awful shifts and sometimes works 11am to 3am. So I cook all the meals because I know that most days he's too exhausted, otherwise he lives on porridge and ham and cheese toasties. It I go away for a few days I'll cook a big batch of lasagna, mac n cheese or make him the burgers he likes and put it in the fridge for him to eat when he comes back from work. Don't think that's pathetic at all, he can cook by himself (and is a very good cook) but sadly most days he's too tired to.

I do this (maybe not breakfast and I don’t label them ‘lunch’ and ‘dinner) but my DP works all hours to provide for us, sometimes coming in at 10 at night, I’m a SAHM so dont mind / actually enjoy doing it.
Your cousins husband isn’t necessarily a man child for this reason, I thought I was going to read a thread about a man who lived with his parents and his mum washed his pants or something!

Absolutely pathetic, he is a grown adult fgs.

perhaps she is really really controlling. perhaps he loves her cooking. perhaps they are on a budget.
what difference does it make to anyone?
it is how they live - it doesnt hurt anyone

Twice a year I go off on long haul holidays with friends. I always make some dinners for the freezer for my DH. He would NEVER expect me to.
Isn’t doing something nice for your partner just something you do when you love each other ?

Perhaps he'll roll his eyes, bin the lot and return to his favorite meal of pizza