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AIBU?

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Original poster

That a 40 year old man child is pathetic not endearing?

206 replies

RoryAndLogan · 19/03/2018 08:53

My cousins husband has posted online about meal prep she has done for him. She's going away with work for 3 days, and has filled the fridge with Tupperware labelled 'breakfast', 'lunch' and 'dinner' for each day.

His post was 'wife goals! No going hungry for me!'

He's 39 years old.

She's mentioned in the past how if she's ever away he will just eat pizza if she doesn't prepare his meals as he can't do anything else and talks about it like it's endearing and sweet Hmm

AIBU that this isn't at all endearing, but pathetic?

OP posts:
Lunde · 19/03/2018 09:13

wife goals? Hmm

AcronymsForAll · 19/03/2018 09:14

Meh. I wouldn't do it, even though DH would likely exist on take aways - hardly any harm in that for a bit. I do tend to sort out his food a lot of time, but wouldn't exactly post about it on social media. He has MH issues and not a lot of motivation. People just do what works for them, I guess.

FairiesVsPixies · 19/03/2018 09:15

It is utterly pathetic.
I might possibly imagine leaving a couple of dinners, but what's with the breakfast and lunch?? That is sad, even my kids can make a decent lunch and breakfast. Hmm

wakemeupbefore · 19/03/2018 09:16

Why all this man-bashing; for all we know, the wife could be the controlling one who just can't stop herself from 'ensuring' DH eats what she thinks he should Hmm.
Try to imagine what the answer might be if your own DH asked you to prepare all his meals and label them? Said DH could well find himself in the shed for the foreseeable future...
Most men would jump on chance to get take-aways etc, eat out in the pub or buy all the 'bad' things that family doesn't ususlly have in.

maxthemartian · 19/03/2018 09:18

Can't believe anyone thinks this is okay unless the spouse in question is disabled Confused

DarklyDreamingDexter · 19/03/2018 09:18

If the cousin wants to do it for her husband and he appreciates it, fine. But why go posting it on social media?

MrsRyanGosling15 · 19/03/2018 09:19

I think it's a basic requirement of any adult to be able to feed themselves. I would judge purely on wife goals. Anyone over the age of 25 at a push is too old for 'goals' on FB

drspouse · 19/03/2018 09:19

What is she doing for the breakfasts and lunches? Measuring out his cereal and milk? Making sandwiches 3 days ahead??

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 19/03/2018 09:19

Meh. I do all the cooking in our house. If I know I am going away with work or whatever I tend to over cook the days before and stick it in the freezer for the wife to eat. Can’t see the problem, she brings other skills and attributes to the relationship and I do things like that because I love her. Would not post that on social media though.

VivaKondo · 19/03/2018 09:20

Nope that’s pathetic.
The ‘wife goal’ is
As for the boxes pre prepared for breakfast??
Meals for every single meal when she is away?

Nope I would pity a man who needs to be looked after like a baby like this.
And I wiodnt stay in a relationship like this either. It wouldn’t either loving or secure in my books.....

formerbabe · 19/03/2018 09:21

It's pathetic.

Even more pathetic is the fact that she works AND does such things. What a mug.

Fruitcorner123 · 19/03/2018 09:21

It is pathetic and embarrassing. DH would be annoyed if I tried to do this for him and mortified if i posted it on social media. It could be her being controlling though. I know people who don't 'let' their DH use particular appliances in the house in case they get it wrong.Confused

KC225 · 19/03/2018 09:23

It wouldn't work for me and my excellent cook DH would be insulted. But it sounds as if they are both happy with the situation.

A friend of a friend who had to work away from home once a month was telling us that she was skimming through the phone bill and every time she was away, a number kept appearing. She checked other bills and there it was - always when she was away but sometimes two, three or four times a night which ruled out 'take away'. Anyway, they were super healthy and 'he wouldn't do that as he didn't like junk food'. She rang her sister, who said just ring the bloody number. Turns out he LOVES junk food and it was the local pizza place, he had ordered it so much he became friends with the owner and they would discuss sports. Owner would have to hang up if there was a customer and her DH would ring him back to carry on the conversation.

VivaKondo · 19/03/2018 09:23

Pan it’s different.
I batch cook too.
But I would also expect H to be able to cook forhimself for some of the meals and at least to prepare his own breakfast!!

It’s not about making things easier, which is what you and I do. That’s at the point that this guy can’t make ANY meals at all.
And is PROUD of it, so much so that he will put that on FB ConfusedHmm

wakemeupbefore · 19/03/2018 09:23

He probably posted it on social media as a desperate call for help. Imagine living with someone who actually does what his wife did.

Poor man.

Tweetiepie1000 · 19/03/2018 09:24

The ‘wife goals’ bit has been me feel quite rageful and I’m not really sure why.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 19/03/2018 09:25

I live in pizza and takeaway when my husband is away.

Because i don’t get the judgey face and it’s makes me feel naughty Grin

SaucyJack · 19/03/2018 09:26

I take your point wakemeup.

He's a grown man in his own home. Why isn't he "allowed" to order himself a pizza?

Their dynamic clearly works for them tho.

FairiesVsPixies · 19/03/2018 09:29

Why all this man-bashing;

You're quite right, it's not just him - she's a muppet as well. The pair of them need a slap Grin

sunshineandrosies · 19/03/2018 09:29

I do this for my DH. Because I love him and I want to. He appreciates it and as he works strange and long hours it's nice to come home to a meal you can just heat up. Don't label them though!
Why is it pathetic to do this? Serious question.

DeleteOrDecay · 19/03/2018 09:31

This would make me Hmm a bit. I mean if she enjoys doing it for him then that's great but I do think it's a bit pathetic that he can't/won't fend for himself.

iLoveABiccy · 19/03/2018 09:32

I would do this for my DP, because I know he has a stressful job & he would appreciate it, and in turn he would do things to make life easier for me.

I don't see the issue with it. Unless he's completely lazy with no job, and no contribution to the household?

upsideup · 19/03/2018 09:34

So? My DH cooks for me and the kids everynight, hes a good cook and he really enjoys cooking.
He would do this if he was going away, I do other things for him.
Thats how a relationship works, sharing all chores 50/50 and wasting time for the sake of equality is perfetic, When you are in a happy proper grown up realtionship you can help each other out.

BanyanTree · 19/03/2018 09:35

Both my DS's age 8 and 12 can cook for themselves already. My eldest can make 3 course meals. The DH is pathetic. It isn't hard to teach yourself how to cook.

WipedOutDaze · 19/03/2018 09:36

It sounds as though she likes him a lot and wants to be indispensable to him and to show her love that way. If so, that seems fine. It also may be that this effort on her part is reciprocated by the amount of work he does in other ways.

If he takes her for granted. is generally lazy, and she is miserable, then it is not so fine.

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