That a 40 year old man child is pathetic not endearing?

[RoryAndLogan]

My cousins husband has posted online about meal prep she has done for him. She's going away with work for 3 days, and has filled the fridge with Tupperware labelled 'breakfast', 'lunch' and 'dinner' for each day.

His post was 'wife goals! No going hungry for me!'

He's 39 years old.

She's mentioned in the past how if she's ever away he will just eat pizza if she doesn't prepare his meals as he can't do anything else and talks about it like it's endearing and sweet

AIBU that this isn't at all endearing, but pathetic?

MY parents are 80 and 83.... I said to my dad a few years ago “why don’t you cook for mum sometimes” he said “I didn’t get Married to cook!” was a bit tongue and cheek but my mum comes to visit me on her own for a week and he manages to fend for himself just fine!

YANBU it sounds ridiculous

Yes it's pathetic. The dynamics of that relationship sound pretty fucked up.

Though she's a bad as him. Why can't he live on pizza if that's what he chooses, he's a grown man.

Well it depends on how fair it is I suppose.

If she's a SAHM, he works long hours, he can't cook and she can, but he does all the washing up and laundry for his part, then fine.

If they both work (and she clearly does) and she's done this for him because he never lifts a finger and she does everything, and while she was working her arse off doing the "meal prep" after work while he played on the playstation, then yes it's awful. She's going along with it though.

"Wife goals" though - aaaaaaahhhh

I don't get the breakfast thing. My oh cannot cook but he makes himself breakfast... cereal in bowl, pour milk. Why has she prepped brekkie for him?

I'm sorry but I find women who work and try to fulfill the role of 1950s outfit pretty pathetic and the men who expect this are even worse.

My dh would most likely be the same tbh! I'd probably make something if I was going away (because he's a terrible cook, not because he wouldn't try)
I was in hospital for weeks and more often than not his mum would make meals for the week for him and DC, he could make pasta and bung in the oven stuff but nothing wholesome or nutritious. Mil and I are both probably to blame as he's never really had to do it! He has tried recently to learn to cook with dd1, but no more adventurous than a curry.

One of my good friends will always have a moan about her dh. She will lay his clothes out daily, prepare his food, pack and choose for him if they were going on holiday. I used to think it was ridiculous and he was pathetic, until I realised it was her that liked doing this (and moaning about it) not him! She's her own worst enemy, and she knows it. I can tease her about it, but I think she likes 'looking after him'. I dread to think how he would function if she wasn't around.
It is controlling behaviour (not saying that's what happening in your case op, just a different angle). If a woman was to post on here saying her man chose and laid out her clothes, there would be a bit of an uproar, but when women do it, it's 'caring'

*housewife not outfit!

YANBU. It’s pathetic. She’s needs to get some self respect and toughen up. I’d let him eat the pizza. Why does she care what he eats?

I can’t imagine either being that kind of woman or ever marrying that kind of man but it takes all sorts.

Some women like being doormats.

People who post all their stupid shit on fb, invite public comment, so not sure why the OP is getting stick for having an opinion.

I think the wife is batshit. Being married to a man child is a complete passion killer. He should be embarrassed, not posting on fb!

My il’s are like this and I really think it’s pathetic. My mil had to go into hospital for 3 days and was bitching to me that sil hadn’t invited fil to stay with her for the duration. This is a 60 year old man who takes great pleasure in boasting that he doesn’t know how to make a cup of tea or a slice of toast.

@anneoneill

You’re OP’s cousin, aren’t you?

Mutual neediness.

He probably likes it when she screams from the kitchen that the sink is blocked, which is his cue to get up off the sofa with a 'Hurrr!!!!' noise, stroll manfully to the kitchen while rolling up sleeves - 'Stand aside darling, I've got it under control'

#hubbygoals

etc.

When the zombies attack they'll both instantly morph into perfectly capable, steely-eyed adults and he'll be making a delicious broth for the survivors armed only with a dead cat and some potato peelings while she builds an armoured car from a heap of bottle tops and a trunki, a la The A Team.

They like it. They play up to it. It's their foreplay and much, much more. Leave 'em to it.

Yabu. I deal with mostly elderly patients and seen it done loads of time. Just shows love. Had one elderly chap do it for wife as she couldnt cook but agree mostly the wifes who do it. Who cares its between the couple. If this upsets you op and anyone else on here its more about you than the couple!

What would be in the boxes labelled breakfast?
Two slices of bread with instructions on how to toast them? Cereal with milk?

I find it very odd. My Gran used to do it for my Grandad. He'd get home from dropping her at the airport, shove the lot in the deep freezer in different containers so he wasn't rumbled, then go down to the butchers & his allotment to get what he wanted She's not the best cook.

Agree OP, he should be embarrassed about being so useless not posting on FB proudly and 'wife goals' suggests it's what wives should all do to be 'good'. Bleugh.

@arealhumanbeing

Shouldn't you be somewhere else insulting rape victims?

It's certainly not something I would entertain.

But some couples love the whole 'man work' and 'woman work' thing.

You may find for example, that she hasn't bothered to learn anything about DIY, basic car maintenance, motorway driving and refuses to empty the bins or mow the lawn.

That ^^ is often considered 'man work'.

Would breakfast, lunch and dinner even keep in the fridge for 3 days, maybe she is trying to poison him!

He's a loser. I couldn't pander to this level of learnt incompetence.

its between the couple

Yes it is, until they post it on social media.

DGM used to do this for DGF, he used to ignore it and survive on permastew he made in the slow cooker. He still makes it now that she's passed over. I had the honour of sharing it one Easter holidays, he'd add an extra ingredient: sausages, a tin of mackerel; every day, it always tasted exactly the same. 😷

There’s a thread running atm about how turned on a lot of women get when men are doing traditional manly rolls.
Don’t see this level of vitriol there.

It’s only ok to man bash on here though isn’t it.

Why is it pathetic to do this? Serious question.

Because he is a grown man but is incapable of keeping himself alive for 3 days.