Would I know if I'd been raped? So anxious please help

[Sofuckingstupiddespair]

I got really drunk last night I don't know what happened. I don't really remember leaving my friends just vaguely, they were going home, I got confused and didn't know where I was. Ended up walking around the quiet streets for hours by myself I don't remember all this clearly just bits.

Could I have been raped and not know? I'm lying in bed shaking I'm so scared. I don't know how this happened. One minute I was fine, next really really drunk.

I've lost about £20 I think and don't know how this happened so maybe someone stole it or maybe I just lost it but if someone took it I don't remember and what if I was raped? What if I have a std?

Thank you all. I feel slightly less scared I think drinking something did help as was suggested.

You’ll feel loads better tomorrow .

What a delight you are 🙄

Sort that was I. Response to someone on the previous page who posted a horrible comment. OP, I hope you are feeling a bit brighter

AlexaAmbidextra I hope that bit of abuse makes you feel better. Absolutely appalling, given the circumstances.

OP, I think you would probably be sore down there if you’d been raped. I think you are just panicking because you can’t remember anything. Maybe get tested for STDs in a couple of months though, just to make sure.

I feel slightly better, but also just really really bad. I'm trying to read these posts about how it's a physiological thing, the sense of foreboding doesn't mean something bad happened last night or that something bad is just about to happen. It's a feeling not fact.

The world just feels so scary. It's like I keep getting everything wrong, and I'm not important enough for it to matter when really bad stuff happens to me.

I just want to be normal and safe.

Op, those feelings and thoughts are classic anxiety symptoms.

Google anxiety, l think you will relate to it heaps, and get lots of advice on dealing with it.

Getting checked would reassure you. Don't kick yourself too hard - it's not good getting so wasted, but you're not the only one by a mile (count me in that number). I'm so sorry you're having such a bad time. Talk to your friends as well - you need a bit of tlc.

It sounds like you definitely have anxiety and could use some professional help.

Getting drunk and losing your memory is a silly thing to do and bad things can happen to you BUT nearly everyone has done it at some point and it doesn’t make you any more stupid than most other people. It’s just one of those things that happens sometime so try not to beat yourself up about it. It looks unlikely that anything terrible happened to you on this occasion, so try to draw a line under it if you can and focus on how you are going to try and help yourself feel better.

I don't want to worry anyone in real life about the full extent of how awful I'm feeling today.

xx

How old are you and do you have children?

Go to closest rape center, or phone go to be referred to it. They’ll take swabs and look at your body, and don’t worry washing yourself lots won’t get rid of the DNA if you were raped.

frantically Have you read the thread? There is no indication at all that anything has happeneded to the op. No need for her to undergo the trauma of a medical examination, not to mention using scare resources when nothing has happened to her.

Yes I'm having counselling this week.

i know at some point wandering around I was in tears wanting my mum, I just wanted to go home to my family home which is miles away and doesn't belong to our family now anyway. But now I'm worried I was crying in front of friends, I just don't know. I don't want people knowing how hard I'm finding things at the minute.

I thought I was doing ok, and I was until the alcohol. At the same time the alcohol just made the grief and fear in me come out, it didn't cause the problem.

No I have no children.

I think a good thing to do would be to call your nearest rape crisis centre and explain what happened. I'm sure they have a 24 hr hotline and have information that might put you more at ease.

You may want to consider whether or not you want to take the MAP just to be sure. But speak to rape crisis first.

She doesn't think she was raped. She 99.99% wasn't. There's no evidence. She doesn't believe she was. Don't advise hungover and easily explained (the drinking) anxious people to waste the time of vital services or put themselves through invasive examinations for no reason.

Please dont do what franticallypeaceful suggests

The MAP? Have you actually read the thread?

OP, you've received lots of good advice.

Hope you can take some steps to manage your anxiety.

I'm thinking more rationally now.

Because of stuff in my past, I have a condition called vaginismus which makes penetration painful so realistically I would feel sore if anything like that had happened. I hadn't thought of that.

FFS! Across- Rape crisis is for people that were raped. The OP is anxious, bereaved, depressed and doesn't think she was raped at all.

Don't suggest wasting the time of much needed services because you can't even be arsed to read a short thread let alone just the OPs posts.

Past stuff probably explains why my brain jumps to the conclusion that I was sexually attacked.

I'm actually on a different waiting list for counselling about that too and this thread has motivated me to call tomorrow and see how much longer I have to wait.

Op you are doing really well and you have just had a tough couple of days. Posters that are suggesting sti tests, spiking, MAP, medical examinations are NOT helping you so just keep thinking logically.