Would I know if I'd been raped? So anxious please help

[Sofuckingstupiddespair]

I got really drunk last night I don't know what happened. I don't really remember leaving my friends just vaguely, they were going home, I got confused and didn't know where I was. Ended up walking around the quiet streets for hours by myself I don't remember all this clearly just bits.

Could I have been raped and not know? I'm lying in bed shaking I'm so scared. I don't know how this happened. One minute I was fine, next really really drunk.

I've lost about £20 I think and don't know how this happened so maybe someone stole it or maybe I just lost it but if someone took it I don't remember and what if I was raped? What if I have a std?

Oh sweetheart. You’re in a vulnerable emotional state overall. Then you got shitfaced and can’t remember large chunks of the evening. The alcohol ‘comedown’ has exacerbated your anxiety. You’re actually in a sugar dip - the amount you consume via booze ‘spikes’ and the comedown form sugar withdrawal is quite unpleasant. Helps to remember that it’s actually physical and you’re not losing your mind.

Do you have any orange juice or sweets? Consume them if so.

Warm bath, comfortable clothing, sofa, shite TV.

You have the beer fear / hangxiety.

Breathe in through your nose / out through mouth and remember ‘this too will pass’.

Get an early night.

OP from your other posts here, is this really about worrying that you could have been raped or because you are very unhappy and down at the moment?

You have not answered any questions about the state of your clothing, so I assume that they are all fine.

You went out and drank too much for someone in a happy frame of mind. Considering what you write about your actual frame of mind you drank too much. Some would call this self-saboutage. Drinking 3 pints before you meet friends is not positive behaviour.

Now self-flagellation and imagining the worse is compounding that.

It would not be unreasonable for anyone to by now assume that you have used the word rape to get the attention that you obviously need right now. However, a forum like this is not going to give you that. Is there someone who you can call to come over to your place and talk things through with you?

Oh OP.

And certain people on this thread...

Sometimes a night on the piss can launch an unexploded anxiety bomb off where shit you thought you were in control of goes BOOM and your brain becomes your very worst enemy.

On the balance of probability you are unlikely to have been raped. But your hangover may not leave you until later today or tomorrow morning and you need a plan to manage it.

Eat bananas and drink.lots of water as a start.
Write down your thoughts. Your brain is going at 100mph. This will take it down to 40. It will also give you a potential platform to expose your mind to your counsellor promptly IYSWIM?

Ride it out OP. Previous posters are right; it is the what could have happened factor that's torturing you plus possibly relief that you show no signs that you've been raped.

Man, I've been where you are and I send you a big virtual hug x

Thank you for talking this through with me. I don't think I've ever felt this scared, it goes beyond feeling anxious. It's like the whole world is impossible and dangerous and I can't take a step.

I'm too scared to even get in the fucking shower. I'm too scared to go to my sofa to watch to. I'm a fucking wreck.

Yes have a bit of fanta and put something relaxing on the tv.

Don't swig too much down if you are v hungover easy does it.

Just get through today and call doc tomorrow about anxiety and state of mind.

Prescribed ADs are much safer and cheaper than the alternatives. IME.

For your feelings before going out last night, have you spoken to anyone, sought any help?

Why not call Mind and speak to them? Their call centre is open tomorrow morning at 09:00 0300 123 3393
[email protected]
Text: 86463

I'm not looking for attention. I don't want this kind of attention I clearly did stupid things. I think I wanted reassurance that I probably wasn't raped as I terrified.

Talking it through here is making me realise I'm very very anxious about everything I just fixated on rape.

I have been assaulted before and always feel at least it wasn't actual rape. I get afraid in certain situations.

Can you tell us more about yourself and your life?

I didn't drink three drinks alone I drank them with other friends. I moved from one group to another to try to catch up with more friends because I have not been going out much.

And in case you need to speak to someone the Samaritans are always there; they are a great and supportive, listening organisation. Free number: 116 123

"one minute I was fine, next really really drunk"- That sounds like you were drugged :(

My outer clothes seem fine. I'm still too afraid to look at my underwear just in case there's signs of something there.

Logically I know probably not but my head is spinning in fear at the thought.

Maybe best to not go out much if it causes all this.

You're home, you're safe, how you're feeling will subside.

Take no notice of idiots on here who don't understand ... you need something sugary and you need to eat and try to calm yourself down. If anything untoward had happened you would probably have signs and you don't seem to. When you say you've been attacked when sober, drinking too much has probably made you think about that and because you still probably have alcohol in your system it will make anxiety 10 times worse. Try to relax and convince yourself it is highly unlikely anything happened and realise you are panicking and that's why you feel so dreadful. Please try to relax a bit and let the alcohol come out of your system - you're still here and you're okay and you will be better one day when you've had help from your counselling

My life is good, I've been doing well but this has floored me. The whole world feels scary and dark.
Friend is working so can't call me back but has texted to say we left the bar around 12.

I feel sick what was I doing wandering round. I don't remember talking to anyone.

Would people stop telling her she was probably drugged? She drank a huge quantity of alcohol and can't remember stuff. She poisoned herself with excess alcohol (not judging, I've done it too).

It's completely normal to have that reaction. It's how the brain and body works. You can seem 'fine' and not be forming any memories at all.

Do you think you might have some kind of PTSD which could have been triggered by post-alcohol anxiety?

What about your life is good, would you say?
You can't have always been terrified of the world?

You will get through this.
It will pass.

I think you would remember unless you were totally passed out cold. And from what you've written that sounds unlikely. Stop worrying. If you do want a check up then by all means go to a hospital. It is scary if you can't remember where time went to. Try not to get into that state again.

If it's any consolation OP, you probably did just wander round and not talk to anyone. It's not brilliant and you do need to think about your drinking but it's not the end of the world - it just feels like it.

You are going to be just fine, OP. You will start feeling better by this evening, as the alcohol leaves your bloodstream. Keep trying to eat and drink small amounts and get lots of rest.

Phone the non emergency services number and speak to them. They will be able to advise you on what to do

Oh the old MN favourite - phone 101

What on earth do you think the Police can do for heaven's sake.

101 the answer to all lifes problems