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Original poster

Would I know if I'd been raped? So anxious please help

204 replies

Sofuckingstupiddespair · 18/03/2018 12:48

I got really drunk last night I don't know what happened. I don't really remember leaving my friends just vaguely, they were going home, I got confused and didn't know where I was. Ended up walking around the quiet streets for hours by myself I don't remember all this clearly just bits.

Could I have been raped and not know? I'm lying in bed shaking I'm so scared. I don't know how this happened. One minute I was fine, next really really drunk.

I've lost about £20 I think and don't know how this happened so maybe someone stole it or maybe I just lost it but if someone took it I don't remember and what if I was raped? What if I have a std?

OP posts:
PrincessScarlett · 18/03/2018 13:33

Big hugs OP. For what it's worth I think you are upset, anxious and crying because of what COULD have happened rather than what actually happened. It has scared you because you can't remember.

Some years ago I got drunk and fell asleep on the train home. I woke up at the end of the line miles away from home and had to pay a fortune to get a taxi home. I was very upset and scared that I was so drunk that anything could have happened to me. It took me a couple of weeks to get over and to be honest I don't drink so much now, particularly if I need public transport to get home.

What I find shocking though is that your friends knowingly left you in that state. I would definitely be talking with them to see what happened.

Be kind to yourself OP and just live and learn from the experience.

diabolicaldevil · 18/03/2018 13:33

No I wouldn't go to a&e.

Honestly OP, I'd probably not drink as much if you're left feeling so bloody awful and can't remember what's happened to you

diabolicaldevil · 18/03/2018 13:34

Sorry pressed too early.

It's unlikely you've been raped. Are you sore or bruised? Are your clothes stained or ripped?

Be kind to yourself but drinking to excess isn't worth it the next day if you're left feeling the way you are. I've had the hangover guilt and it's just awful.

Zeelove · 18/03/2018 13:36

Please don't go to a and e. Also don't assume you've been spiked like people are telling you. There's no reason to suspect you've been raped. Have a shower and have a nap and you'll feel better later on. Take responsibility and don't drink as much next time if you can't handle it.

Original poster
Sofuckingstupiddespair · 18/03/2018 13:36

I think I left friends at about 11 or 12 and was not home until about 3. My phone was dead.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sofuckingstupiddespair · 18/03/2018 13:39

I don't thinki was spiked. I have been spiked before and that was a total lack of memory I couldn't remember a thing. This was patchy but I can remember parts. I just don't know what I was doing or why, I don't remember what was thinking that it seemed like a reasonable idea to wander round, instead of getting home.

OP posts:
MyNewBearTotoro · 18/03/2018 13:40

I think it’s very, very unlikely given as you don’t have any memories (even bits of menories) to suggest you were with a man, you don’t feel sore or have any injuries, you didn’t lose any of your clothes and you woke up safe at home.

It’s awful to wake up and have a blackout and it can definitely make you feel anxious to have large chunks of your memory missing, but I really don’t think you need to panic that anything awful happened.

ichifanny · 18/03/2018 13:41

Whatbatrange advice telling her to go to a&e based on being drunk if she can’t find any sign of sexual assault and isn’t sore it’s unlikely a&e will .

LadyLaSnack · 18/03/2018 13:43

OP, I experience the level of anxiety you are facing today when I drink too much.

It has never manifested itself in worry about rape for me, it usually revolves around the damage I've done/will do to my child by drinking too much. The thing is, it's not founded in reality. I don't drink around my child. I never drink to a point I'm out of control anymore (I have done when I was younger). But the belief about the damage I have done is so real until a day or two later when I can see it was not real at all. The symptoms I experience seem to be related to the after effects of too much alcohol in my body.

picklemepopcorn · 18/03/2018 13:45

You're absolutely exhausted, bless you. It was bitter. Get something to eat, maybe a hot chocolate. Put a towelling robe on and a good tv programme. When you feel better, have a look at your clothes. If there is nothing suspicious, and no bad memories or injuries, then have a nice bath.

You might want to go easy next time, as you don't want to feel this again!

Yarboosucks · 18/03/2018 13:46

So you remember getting home and noting the time?

Unassociated but I once got caught in a riptide and had to be rescued… I had panic attacks and nightmares afterwards at the thought of what could have happened. What my head put me through was far worse than what actually happened!

19lottie82 · 18/03/2018 13:49

Although you’re feeling scared and panicked if you don’t have any physical signs of being assaulted, I really don’t think you’ve been raped.

I think you’re just worried about what COULD have happened.

You did have quite a lot to drink (were they large glasses) and sometimes even if we think we have a certain tolerance then we can still have a different reaction based on multiple things. Were you tired? How much had you had to eat that day?

Most people have had a black put due to booze at some point and it can be scary, but you sound find. Try to relax and stop going over things in your head that could have happened. You’re safe.

SnibbleAgain · 18/03/2018 13:49

So you got really pissed, have a 2 hour or so black out, but got home and into bed OK.

You are very upset - but don't know why.

Why would you jump to thinking you'd been raped? That is a big leap. Check yourself for bruises, is your clothing torn or dirty, is their dirt or grit in your hair, is there semen in your pants, are you sore anywhere etc

£20 is lost / spent / if you can't remember the rest of the night. Be glad you a. got home and b. with bag

I suspect you are very upset because blackouts are upsetting and frightening, I used to have lots.

Juiceylucy09 · 18/03/2018 13:49

I sounds like your overly anxious, it was a dangerous situation to be walking alone that drunk, check yourself and your clothing it will hopefully reassure you, relax take it easy on yourself.

Without sounding like I am lecturing you, try not get into that state and end up alone again.

IfYouDontImagineNothingHappens · 18/03/2018 13:50

It's hangover anxiety I think. I get it badly. Try and sleep and get some food down you. Sticking the telly on random feel good stuff can help too. Hope you are feeling better soon.

SnibbleAgain · 18/03/2018 13:51

Put something soothing on the telly, have something to eat if you can handle it, have a bath or shower if you are up to it, water / tea / coke to drink, hope you feel better you must have a killer hangover (or will do later).

19lottie82 · 18/03/2018 13:51

It does sound like you were drugged - it's strange for you to feel a bit drunk and then totally out of it and wandering about

Not really. It happened to me quite a lot in my student days.

JacksGirl123 · 18/03/2018 13:57

The Police and other emergency services see SO many people every weekend who think they were spiked (I know you're not saying you were OP). It's really rare that happens in comparison to the millions of people that drink too much and can't remember what happened or do something they wouldn't if they were sober.

Original poster
Sofuckingstupiddespair · 18/03/2018 13:59

I can't deal with anything anymore. Can't stop crying. I went out because I thought it would do me good to socialise as Ive been lonely and I just fucked up everything.

I just wanted a nice normal night out that would leave me feeling better for spending time with people, and I couldn't fucking manage to do it.

Nobody gives a shit about me. One parent is dead and the other doesn't like me, I'm shit at life and so terrified most of the time. I can't handle anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sofuckingstupiddespair · 18/03/2018 14:00

I think I'm having a panic attack I feel like I'm going to vomit but it's like if I vomit I'm going to die. I can't explain. I can't deal with the world I'm so shit at life.

OP posts:
whampiece · 18/03/2018 14:01

went out because I thought it would do me good to socialise as Ive been lonely and I just fucked up everything

But you haven't ducked up anything. You went and had your night out. Got a bit pissed, got home ok.

Cleanermaidcook · 18/03/2018 14:01

I don't think it sounds like you were drugged at all, you just drank too much.
The missing £20 could have been spent on more alcohol or a taxi?
Unless you are sore, damp, bruised or hurt in don't understand why you think you might have been raped?
If it were me I'd go to bed and sleep it off and eat something stodgy and maybe not drink so much next time.

PrettyLittIeThing · 18/03/2018 14:04

People get drunk all the time and lose money, I've lost money whilst sober. I don't think you were drugged either.

NC4Now · 18/03/2018 14:06

I think this is post-booze anxiety. It’s horrible, but it will pass. I get it badly too.

You sound like you were feeling a bit low and anxious before you went out, and have been having a bad time.
That always makes the crash a hundred times worse.
Ring your friends. They can help put things into perspective.

Sarsparella · 18/03/2018 14:07

OP, you’ve done nothing wrong :) are you sure you left your friends at 11-12? You were drunk, it easily could’ve been later than you thought & you’ve over estimated how long it took you to get home :)

And again, if you were drunk are you really sure it was 3am when you got in? I’ve been so pissed I’ve had blackouts & tbh checking the time when I got home wasn’t high on my priority list!

Get some food, have a bath, put some comfy clothes on & relax, you’ve just got the hangover paranoia making everything seem a million times worse :)

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