To think that no woman enjoys this and to wonder why men think we do?

[AnachronisticCorpse]

I will preface this by saying I love DH very very much and this isn’t some awful deal breaker.

BUT every weekend morning DH wakes me up by grinding his morning glory against my thigh. This morning he’d actually got up really early without waking me but he came back to bed at 8.30 and STILL woke me up with the rhythmic grinding.

And then once I was awake he started talking at me about amps and effects processors (we have an agreement that I didn’t have to engage in these ‘conversations’ beyond saying ‘uh huh’ every once in a while). All through this conversation he was dry humping me.

I told him to stop and he said that a) he hadn’t even realised he was doing it and b) he always thought I liked it.

Basically it’s something I tolerate because he’s otherwise marvellous but the combination of nerd monologue AND slow Jack Russelling was just too much this morning.

But thinking about it, every man I’ve ever woken up with (a not insignificant number) has done this. Whhhhyyyyyyy? What makes them think being randomly poked is in anyway sexy or romantic?

Does ANYONE like it?

He does, Yawning, honestly. He stops as soon as I tell him to fuck off or start ostentatiously snoring. And he only does it if I’m half asleep rather than soundo.

That’s the thing, I think he thinks I should find it sexy and he is a bit baffled that I don’t.

It’s really not a huge issue though, sometimes it’s quite endearing. But it’s funny how some men think (as Zaphod rightly said upthread) that their penis is so interesting to their female partner.

It amazes me what some women put up with

Don't you find it repulsive?
What my husband who I adore and find attractive wanting to have sex with me? Yes it's clearly repulsive, behaviour, I should probably leave the bastard

Jack Russelling. ...I had visions of a small dog rubbing it's rear along the ground totally misses the point

Put up with!

I hardly going to leave him because he’s a bit childish and thinks a boner against my buttocks is going to send me into paroxysms of desire. It’s not THAT irritating.

I'm going to go against the general consensus here and say... nerdy chat and casual grinding would actually be my ideal way to be woken up.

Haha! See, I’m living the dream.

I’ve just read through the full thread, some cracking posts that made me chuckle. This could well end up in classics.

I'd be inclined to take him to the vets and get his bollocks lopped off.

Loving this thread! Jack Russelling is all very well but no-one wants to be woken by a wet nose in the morning!

Morning glory: fine. Morning Talking: not fine.

One thing he does that annoys me is shouts ‘wahey’ whenever he sees my boobs.

Haha mine says 'wowza!'. Doesn't annoy me in the slightest, it's quite funny.

Dp sometimes wakes me up at the weekend with some lovely rubbing and a boner in my butt, I quite like it but it's not everyday.

He doesn't jack Russell me though.

Jack Russelling is when you walk past and he grabs you and does a fast dry hump. Usually happens in the kitchen, weirdly.

My exh used to do this. Whilst I was in the middle of making the children's lunch or dinner. I hated it so told him to please stop doing it as it was a turn off. He later used this against me during divorce proceedings. Presumably his new partner is happy for him to do this whilst she attends to the twins.

I love the whole wet nose thing.

I am also fond of a kitchen grind although I tend to do it to him. I do it absentmindedly, the kids have been known to shout at me if I start when they are around.

OP are you my DP?

Bugjune

Is this serious ? Borders on non consent dosnt it? Just why wouldn't you say fuck right off, before I cut the bollocks from under you.

Mine does this - makes us laugh.

No boring chat though - that would drive me nuts.

Stayandfight I did do this to him a couple of times pre children I might add and he told me to stop!

I am also fond of a kitchen grind although I tend to do it to him. I do it absentmindedly, the kids have been known to shout at me if I start when they are around.
Please stop, thats pretty inappropriate

Yep parents snogging in the kitchen with a sly grind thrown in totally and utterly inappropriate.

Parents who love each other and want to show affection totally a bad example.

They let me know I need to stop by throwing things at me.

I've had a couple of guys do this. In each and every case, they turned out to be little shits who thought women were something less than they were. Kitchen and bedroom - it happened always in one or the other; that tells you something.

We often do a kitchen snog and grind. The teenagers think it’s gross but surely that’s half the fun?