To think that no woman enjoys this and to wonder why men think we do?

[AnachronisticCorpse]

I will preface this by saying I love DH very very much and this isn’t some awful deal breaker.

BUT every weekend morning DH wakes me up by grinding his morning glory against my thigh. This morning he’d actually got up really early without waking me but he came back to bed at 8.30 and STILL woke me up with the rhythmic grinding.

And then once I was awake he started talking at me about amps and effects processors (we have an agreement that I didn’t have to engage in these ‘conversations’ beyond saying ‘uh huh’ every once in a while). All through this conversation he was dry humping me.

I told him to stop and he said that a) he hadn’t even realised he was doing it and b) he always thought I liked it.

Basically it’s something I tolerate because he’s otherwise marvellous but the combination of nerd monologue AND slow Jack Russelling was just too much this morning.

But thinking about it, every man I’ve ever woken up with (a not insignificant number) has done this. Whhhhyyyyyyy? What makes them think being randomly poked is in anyway sexy or romantic?

Does ANYONE like it?

Mine does it. I find if I’m not in the mood then breaking wind soon sends him packing we dry hump when one of us is bending over too, slap each other bums, pull each other’s trousers down etc. It’s all fun and no one feels violated because we love each other and BOTH find it funny.

It’s funny just how polarising this is.

I suppose it really does depend on context and the general state of your relationship. ExH was also a grinder but he was a shit generally so that coloured my perception of it (he used to have sex with me while I was asleep, hence the ex). DH is lovely and respectful and has never given me any reason to distrust his motives. So for us it’s a fun (if slightly irritating) way to be affectionate.

@AnachronisticCorpse Ok you need to fess up. Your my DP aren't you?

I thought you were fixing your bike but you're on MN complaining about my wet nose.

So you don't think that no woman enjoys it and wonder why men think we do OP?

Your posts are bizarre. and worrying

my dp does that in the morning. it used to be hot but after having kids sleep is precious. told him i need my sleep .. massive sulk and now he gets up goes to the living room and watches porn. hes only hard in the morning at 4 or 5am.
no sex life for over 6 months.

I don’t enjoy it in the way he thinks I do. But I don’t HATE it and I don’t think it makes him disrespectful or that he doesn’t care about my wishes.

He thinks it should send me wild with desire though. Which is odd. Because why would it?

Why would it indeed

Never had a man do this, and he’d only do it once, yuk

It's obvious you have not trained your DH properly. The obvious response to dry humping is 'Down boy!' said in a sharp voice and followed with a gentle tap on his nose with a rolled up newspaper.

Seriously, this would turn me off completely (not to mention the weird technical chat) resulting in zero chance of sex.

Yay, a name for it AND I'm not alone having to put up with it. DH does both but knows it's silly. I just tell him he's wierd and to f off. He is the best in bed I've had and is also very respectful if I say no and does lots of 'wife work' (sorry hate that phrase ) so I don't think you can JR'ers must have bad attitudes to women. Like everything it's individuals. I don't find it sexy or abusive, it's just meh.

Half the fun is getting it on around the children???!!! Fake poster, I sincerely hope or wtaf

how you gony feel if he stops it?....lol...is it generally been accepted as foreplay..or is it ride leg n off.i think that would annoy me more....talking=instant death to.

No jack russelling here lol but plenty of talk of circuits and usb slots, data transfers etc

I’ve got visions of him going at the ATM machine! @Hotdoggity Thats the best comment ive read so far today

This thread is hilarious.

I have no advice, except to invest in some Barbara Woodhouse nightwear - thick and tweedy. Sit!

A cheeky snog and grind does not equal ‘getting in on in front of the children’ ffs, and they are 14 and 15 so quite possibly doing their own snogging and grinding.

When my male dog tried to hump my female dog, she would show her displeasure by turning round and humping his head.

It seemed to work, so maybe worth a try.

So what are you grinding for then and why did you say it? Sad.

Inashizzle are you Donald Trump?

Yuck is all I can say...

Lakie, I have the feeling he’d really enjoy that...

Snogging in front of kids. Bad.

Wow I should run for president.

See now I’m wondering again if couples don’t kiss in front of their kids.

To be clear I’m talking about a small snog, not bending me over the kitchen units.

We also sometimes have sex on a weeknight, and often at lunchtime if he’s WFH. We are clearly doing parenting all wrong. I’ll call social services straight away and have them removed.

I think inashizzle probably only accepts bows and curtsys and wears a full body condom when there’s a man around.

Jack Russelling is when you walk past and he grabs you and does a fast dry hump. Usually happens in the kitchen, weirdly.

This plus the “snog and grind” in front of the teenagers sounds a bit horrible tbh... I bet they do fucking hate that (not envy). I never thought of myself as prudish, but maybe I am!