To think that no woman enjoys this and to wonder why men think we do?

[AnachronisticCorpse]

I will preface this by saying I love DH very very much and this isn’t some awful deal breaker.

BUT every weekend morning DH wakes me up by grinding his morning glory against my thigh. This morning he’d actually got up really early without waking me but he came back to bed at 8.30 and STILL woke me up with the rhythmic grinding.

And then once I was awake he started talking at me about amps and effects processors (we have an agreement that I didn’t have to engage in these ‘conversations’ beyond saying ‘uh huh’ every once in a while). All through this conversation he was dry humping me.

I told him to stop and he said that a) he hadn’t even realised he was doing it and b) he always thought I liked it.

Basically it’s something I tolerate because he’s otherwise marvellous but the combination of nerd monologue AND slow Jack Russelling was just too much this morning.

But thinking about it, every man I’ve ever woken up with (a not insignificant number) has done this. Whhhhyyyyyyy? What makes them think being randomly poked is in anyway sexy or romantic?

Does ANYONE like it?

Why do you say you don't like it then go for 11 pages saying what a pair of wags you are for doing it?

My dh is a bit like that, when I’m bent over doing something he’ll feel my bum as he walks past or bump his groun against me, and occasionally in the mornings if we’re actually in bed together when we wake up he’ll show me his morning glory (nothing comes of it unfortunately for him) there’s nothing wrong with it in the slightest and it’s nice that he finds me attractive and I also have a fondle of his bits occasionally.
We don’t feel violated or disgusted ffs we’re married adults who are attracted to each other and have sex with each other.

I dunno really. Because it was funny, and I was actually bemused at how visceral some of the reactions were.

I stand by my Op though, although I don’t HATE it it doesn’t give me the raging horn like he thinks I would. Which strikes me as a funny yet fundamental difference between the sexes.

Take no notice @ AnachronisticCorpse.
Crack on just the way you are. 😀

WHO do they think I am?

And also, sexual assault? Dear god.

You're probably Laqueen.

Everyone is Laqueen.

I don't know who Laqueen even is.... Which probably means it's me.

I'm Spartacus.

There is a special breed of people on here. Mouths constantly down turned, I imagine probably live with their spouses like lodgers not lovers. Some sort of syndrome that means they take everything absolutely literally. It really sucks the joy out of trying to have a laugh.

Anyway I'm not averse to a nice grind to wake me up in the morning.

On the assumption that I was just dozing rather than being proper el sparko.

OP, I've enjoyed your thread and thought the mealy-mouthed contingent were a bit OTT.

Then I read the Reddit screenshot and realised they're a bundle of fun compared to the Reddit FMs.

I like being rubbed up against TBH. The tech talk at the same time is a bit weird.

Yeah I think I have definitely found my hard limit there.

Just to be perfectly clear, because you seem to not understand OP, I was being sarcastic.

HTH

oh god this mad me roar lol.
My dh does this wen he's in the mood HOWEVER I have a much higher want/need than him so I love it. He also does randomly grind himself into me during the day ie if I'm bent over putting the dishes away etc. but the nerd talk is a bit weird (although I don't get enough imo so I'm not sure if it would turn me off or I'd just tune it out lol)

Also to awnser ur later question My dh is a 'Jack Russeller' and a helicopter man so there could well be a connection there 😂😂

I’ve never seen a helicockter in real life.
I have not lived.

I like it

Yup. My partner did that to me this morning, minus the stimulating conversation!!

Yup. It turned into a bit of a sesh.

Nope. I don't like it but he thinks I do. (The grinding that it is. I rather like sex!)

You are not alone!!

Love the term Jack Russelling DP loves a dry hump whenever I'm bent over somewhere in the house! What are they like!?

Never bothered me with his morning glory in bed though and never nudged a hard-on into my back!

OP I can't read the whole thread cuz recently split up with my DP so it's a bit painful, but I was a dry humper, specifically his thigh in the kitchen... I don't think that's why he dumped me though.. 😂
Dp occasionally would do it me to, and he was definitely not bad in bed.
Oh and I love the dick ta phone joke too.. it's always on my mind

NRTFT.
I'm sorry OP, you have my sympathy but
the combination of nerd monologue AND slow Jack Russelling was just too much this morning made me howl with laughter.

omg I just rtft after I posted (that'll teach me) eff is wrong with people saying he's creepy & borderline non consent? That is weird and creepy imo.
Also, if any of u have a male partner who gets a boner in front of children, then u have far bigger issues than a man u are in a relationship with pushing himself against u.

Op u & ur dh sound like me & mine lol.
My dd is only 4.5 atm and has a thing about cuddling and kissing being gross so we do the exaggerated cuddling and kissing lol and I can totally see us winding her up the same way u do wen she's older. I totally understood wot u meant by humping right from the op (cos that's wot it's called) and no it's not inappropriate in front of 14/15yos and I also understood that wen u said that's half the fun, u meant making teenagers cringe
x

I think he sounds like a sexist bore. Dry humping you as he goes past? How did you get to have so little self esteem to be able to be used as a dog's toy?

Reading idobelieveinfairies80 post actually made my eyes hurt.

@Idobelieveinfairies2018

U wot ?