To think that no woman enjoys this and to wonder why men think we do?

[AnachronisticCorpse]

I will preface this by saying I love DH very very much and this isn’t some awful deal breaker.

BUT every weekend morning DH wakes me up by grinding his morning glory against my thigh. This morning he’d actually got up really early without waking me but he came back to bed at 8.30 and STILL woke me up with the rhythmic grinding.

And then once I was awake he started talking at me about amps and effects processors (we have an agreement that I didn’t have to engage in these ‘conversations’ beyond saying ‘uh huh’ every once in a while). All through this conversation he was dry humping me.

I told him to stop and he said that a) he hadn’t even realised he was doing it and b) he always thought I liked it.

Basically it’s something I tolerate because he’s otherwise marvellous but the combination of nerd monologue AND slow Jack Russelling was just too much this morning.

But thinking about it, every man I’ve ever woken up with (a not insignificant number) has done this. Whhhhyyyyyyy? What makes them think being randomly poked is in anyway sexy or romantic?

Does ANYONE like it?

Why are you so much of a wet blanket? Why don't you ever talk to eachother? Why are you incapable of telling your husband that you don't like these things that he does?

That couldn't happen with my DH of nearly 15 years (anniversary at the beginning of April!), as we tend to get woken up by our DD2 coming into our room.

But I wouldn't be turned on by it at all tbh.

Fair play to you Teutonic, at least you made the effort.

God I do love the issues people are inferring from all this. It’s genuinely quite fascinating to me.

No communication or consent issues. Scout’s honour.

I think other people’s relationships always seem a bit weird, to everybody.

Teutonic

I've just tried frottaging my husband Jack Russell style

You dirty, dirty dog. You should be ashamed.

And please no - not in front of the children.

Teutonic Thanks!

No need to be 'bitch'y @stayandfight 😂

Goes into full snigger mode

Get a tin with some coins in and shake it when he does it

Is the verb frottaging or frotting?

According to Reddit I am a) dry humping In front of my teenagers all the time to prove how cool and in love we are and b) a returning poster with form for this so apparently a waste of time.

Both these things are news to me (I have been here forever but I’m not sure about having form for nonsense). As that’s presumably the second person to imply that (it might be the same poster) I’d love some clarification on who you think I am.

Don’t worry about outing me, I’m intrigued.

Have you tried getting him neutered op?

I'm just jealous because you can do two things at once.

Ambidickstrous indeed.

Not sure about neutered but I have suggested lately he gets the snip. Which is basically the same thing, innit.

Lots of good advice here, but one really important point is not clear to me.

The XR200 is a Honda motorbike.
The XR201 is Panasonic projector.

Surely no he has need to choose as they are functionally very different.

Fancy a quick bit of frotting?

Stop it MN164 you’re turning me on.

Ambidickstrous!

That reminds me of the old gag about using a dictaphone (no, I use my fingers). Boom boom.

That is my favourite joke.

MN164 that is a marvellous post.

I actually have no idea about what is what, I don’t actually listen. But I am totally in awe that you either knew that or looked it up. You star.

BTW frottage must be said with a stupid french accent to make it more adolescent and idiotic. Guaranteed to never happen again after that.

Ffs @stayandfight. I've actually yelped out frotting before curling up laughing.

I think Mr Teutonic is actually getting worried now, what with humping his leg and yelling random words. 😂

I think mentioning Reddit here will take all the wind out of their sails... Hard to be all self righteous and superior in a self referential loop vortex ...

Ooh I didn’t realise this was on reddit? I nose on there sometimes.

Me too. It was actually plopped in th emiddle of a thread about a different thread.

I quite like the idea that I’m some notorious namechnaging trouble maker. It’s a bit more interesting than I’ve been around since the dawn of time and am sometimes bored enough on a Sunday morning to start lighthearted threads.