"We got here safely" (MIL vent)

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That is the text I have just received from my MIL. Last week I got "SIL's doing that thing today" and a while ago I got "I managed to get it". I have no idea what any of these texts mean. I have a very good memory, MIL has not told me or DH anything about going out today or SIL's "thing" or "it".

This is a habit that she has, equivalent to one of those posts on Facebook where the child posts "There just no point anymore" and everyone is supposed to rush and ask for information. I think MIL does it for drama, expecting us to beg for information which I have done for years. DH ignores her which is why she texts me. I'm not doing it anymore.

This morning I just texted back "Great, have a good time" and now there is silence. I know she knows that I don't know what she's talking about but what can she do about it?

Have I BU?

Slash She does it in conversation also. It's just her habit. She wants people to ask stuff and this is her way of making them do it.

My FIL does something similar in conversations where he's not the main focus of attention. Eg, if we're all chatting about a random topic, let's say beekeeping, he will suddenly say "Oh Jim from the pub would be extremely excited about this" and then look at us all expectantly . So of course we're all then supposed to say "Oh why is that FIL" and turn the attention back to him. (As opposed to a normal person who would just say "Oh I know someone who really likes beekeeping etc).

Problem for him is that his entire family, including his wife, don't have any tolerance for it so they just ignore him.

Sounds like she wants you to ask her how she is, if she got there fine, how SIL is etc.

Does DH bother asking her those things?

Motherofstudent I don't think it's confusion because she can be on the ball when she wants to be. I wondered whether she was a bit, well, not very bright but I think it is a habit designed to get people to pay attention to her.

Brizzle the NC comment was one of those rare to find things called a joke...

I would text back “sorry you sent this to me by mistake? Have a great day!”

Infuriating but in the spectrum of difficult or downright spiteful MILs out there she is more Hyacinth Bucket than evil so I think a kind polite response like yours is fine.
Would you prefer a 30 mins on the phone uninvited where she outlines her exciting plans fir the week? The cryptic text or comment gives you the option of asking for the details if you wish or of shutting her off as you have just done. It may be a blessing in disguise.

It's attention seeking behaviour.

If she complains that you're not showing interest in her ''mysterious' texts, tell her you've been worried about them for some time, actually, and have been concerned and wondering if she was showing signs of early dementia, and maybe she should get checked out by her GP. Since they come out of the blue about random things you couldn't possibly know about.

Fitzsimmons Yes, YES, that is it! Except there doesn't even have to be a conversation going. She would just say "Jim from the pub would really like it" and look at us all expectantly.

Perhaps she does think we all know what she is thinking

Sorry brizzle, x post, I can see you’ve had you’re caffeine now!

Your..

I wouldn’t respond at all. I really can’t understand why your mil has your mobile number. After over 20 years, I have my bil’s, purely because he wanted my advice on something. Otherwise, my dh contacts his family, I contact mine.

I didn´t realize people did this by text. I thought it was just a fb thing. The thumbs up for everything sounds like an excellent response!

Gide I can't remember how she got my number, I've had the same one for years. DH isn't a talker. He probably wouldn't reply if she tried it on him.

@Gide.

Really? So you never need to speak to your parents in law without going via your husband, or vice versa?

What if something happened and you needed to communicate directly with them? Seems a strange thing not to share tel nos, particularly in this day and age.

Surely you could have some fun with this...

My DSis does things like this. If the conversation isn't about her she'll go on her phone and then laugh out loud at, I assume, something on social media/a message. Then you're expected to say 'What's funny?' And it's never anything remotely funny or in line with the conversation everyone is having. Or it will be a message from one of her friends who I've never met so completely irrelevant, it's such strange behaviour. If you ignore her the laughs get more and more hysterical and in the end she'll crack and go 'look at this inane drivel on Facebook!' and I'll usually muster an 'oh yeah...'

Funny how “attention seeking behaviour” is considered such a terrible thing. Obviously it can be, but surely we all need attention sometimes?

My mum does this, in conversation and by text. I think it's one of the milder symptoms of NPD, to be honest.

In conversation I just go with, "Oh, lovely." By text I normally totally ignore it, on the grounds that she must have accidentally sent me a text intended for someone else who knows about this and gives a shit .

'Break a leg!'. It alludes to the drama

Accompany a social worker to her home to do an assessment for her well being. Encourage her to go to the GP for a memory test and remember to head tilt with sympathy frequently whilst Suggesting helpful things like assisted living accommodation and removing dangerous pointed objects from her home.

Why are you not taking DH lead on this and simply not responding to anything cryptic?

Brizzle the NC comment was one of those rare to find things called a joke...

@Mamma I got your sarcasm

Now on my second coffee :-)

rothbury I don't know. Conditioning I guess.

Thumbs up is a great idea !
Mine do it in conversation
Ramble on endlessly about Jim or Bob who I have never met.
I just ignore now-if you ask who they are they get really annoyed that you dont know who someone you have never met is

I sometimes meet people like this in my work.
'My sister had the operation.'
'Well - James got married, in the end.'
''They say it's not dangerous, but I should have it looked at'.

Just random statements like that. Because I live in a very small rural place, where EVERYONE assumes EVERYONE ELSE knows all about their lives (because, to be fair, often they do). I don't. So I've perfected 'nod and smile.'