"We got here safely" (MIL vent)

[planetsweet]

That is the text I have just received from my MIL. Last week I got "SIL's doing that thing today" and a while ago I got "I managed to get it". I have no idea what any of these texts mean. I have a very good memory, MIL has not told me or DH anything about going out today or SIL's "thing" or "it".

This is a habit that she has, equivalent to one of those posts on Facebook where the child posts "There just no point anymore" and everyone is supposed to rush and ask for information. I think MIL does it for drama, expecting us to beg for information which I have done for years. DH ignores her which is why she texts me. I'm not doing it anymore.

This morning I just texted back "Great, have a good time" and now there is silence. I know she knows that I don't know what she's talking about but what can she do about it?

Have I BU?

Is she a nice woman? Generally kind and helpful? A good grandmother?
Is she doing this to be unkind, or to hurt you?

If she is, and if you have no reason to believe she’s doing it to be malicious, I’d just let it go. It’s good to be kind.

Maybe your MIL saw this thread OP and cottoned on it was you

chien I don’t know her very well. She doesn’t look after children, her daughter (with the children) moved in with her after a breakfast I think. We never got the full story.

I think she is doing this for attention. I am tired of being the one who feeds her. If that is unkind, so be it. I was “kind” for years. Someone else’s turn.

After a break up not a breakfast 😂

I think people are talking about two separate behaviours here: the OP's MIL (and other posters' friends and family) needing to control conversation and manipulate attention, which is draining and alienating and not fun in a relationship, and something totally different, which is (sometimes lonely) people talking about things the listener didn't ask about (deceased relatives, the war, etc).

The former is extremely boring and needs to be acknowledged and handled, the latter needs patience and kindness and the realisation that these "one-sided" conversations can be extremely fascinating if you have the time to only listen.

(OP and other posters, I really feel for you when it's the first type.)

homeworking yes.

her daughter (with the children) moved in with her after a breakfast

Very sensible to move in on a full stomach.

I think I know now why MIL does this OP. When you don't hear what you want to hear you start ignoring people's questions.

You've done it to her haven't you? So now she just shoots random crap at you.

I'm glad she's backed off a bit, though if she does start again just respond like last time. You are at least acknowledging her even if not feeding the game.

My MIL sent me a message like that last night. Its not like her though so I was very confused for a bit. I didn't respond straight away which turned out to be a blessing as a second message came about 10 mins later which explained it - it was clearly sent first but must have been delayed somewhere. If I had responded it would have confused the poor woman who doesn't quite get these quirks of technology.

I wonder which of your behaviours she finds draining and irritating.

chien I don’t know.

I don't understand the unkind comment on this thread. Why can't Op rant about her MIL's annoying texts? She's not being nasty, she's just venting and it's giving everyone else who is experiencing the same the chance to vent too. If any of Op's behaviours are annoying MIL, you can bet MIL is ranting about it to her friends.

"Comments" not comment. Sheesh!