To HATE my mother kissing my baby

[yadayadayesokay]

My DD is 3 months old. I didn’t think I would have a problem with people kissing her and I generally don’t. We have had the usual large amount of visitors to come and meet and of course hold and kiss my DD. Not a problem whatsoever. But then it comes to my mother and I just can’t stand it. She doesn’t just kiss her a couple of times like other people, she will SMOTHER her in kisses constantly, all over. Hair, head, forehead, cheeks, nose, hands (which I particularly hate because they go straight in her mouth) opens up her onesie to blow raspberries on her belly, ‘eats’ her feet. I know there’s nothing out of the ordinary here but for me it’s just the amount that she does it. The kissing her all over her face all the time is how myself and my DP kiss her, as she’s our baby! I just wish she would calm down a bit. I suspect most others wouldn’t have a problem with this. AIBU?

She’s a doting granny. My view would be that it’s a beautiful relationship and leave them at it

Your child is being loved and adored, how it should be..what a very sad. odd post. And a contrast to many on here saying how the GC are ignored by the GP.

And it benefits your child if they have a close relationship and you don't interfere in this, unless it is actually harming your child.

I did this to my dd2 who was just so cuddly and kissable. It's not slobbery, she wasn't covered in saliva, I mean I'm not a dog! I would think it ott but not an issue.

I agree with you a little kiss on the head is fine but all over the face is too much. Plus, a person carrying the herpes virus does not always have to have an active cold sore to transmit the virus and it is VERY dangerous for small babies. Not to mention passing on other viruses.

It’s your baby but it’s her grand baby! It’s quite sad really, surely you’re not concerned about your mums germs? Eating feet and blowing raspberries is typical play for that age would you rather she just ignored her?

I can't see any difference in your dm doing this to you and your dp doing it. When you become a grandparent you will be surprised how much you will love your grandchild. You will see the child as part of you, because it is!
There would be no you got have a child if it weren't for your mother.
I wish my mother had felt that way about my children.

TO have, not got!

The excessive kissing is grim IMO! A peck on the cheek here and there fine but it definitely sounds excessive!!

God I still shudder at the thought of an old work colleague who would kiss everyone's newborns on the mouth when they would bring them in for the first time. She regularly had cold sores and it still didn't stop her. I never took mine in on the day she worked.... grim!

YANBU at all, I would hate it if my mum did that to the boys when they were babies!

A simple “Mum, please stop” should do the trick!

It has already been posted.

Honestly cold sores can be terrible.

No kissing of babies - I thought that message had got through to the wide public so am surprised by some of the responses....

I think you're being mean. It won't last long before she'll be running away from Granny and how absolutely wonderful to have a besotted GP. Would you rather she wasn't that bothered about her?

However, there's nothing wrong with joking with your DM and saying something like your DP has said. I'd just be saying 'let her breathe, for goodness sake Mum!'

'covered in saliva/ Doubtful. Typical MN exaggeration!

We're not allowed to kiss babies now? Since when was that law brought in? I must've been out the country

It will cause nothing but hurt if you ask her to stop. OH has the right idea, a bit of gentle smiling teasing

Oh for goodness sake no one's saying it's not allowed to kiss babies, there are just limits on normal behaviour and taking it over the top to the point it gets uncomfortable, annoying and inappropriate.

And I'd debate 'it's a beautiful relationship' - granny's certainly having fun and meeting her own needs, but it's not reciprocal. It won't be that long before the baby starts making clear get off I'm busy signals and granny needs to settle down a bit and be ready for this. As her son puts it: baby, not lollipop.

kneedeep

The post before mine says this....
"No kissing of babies - I thought that message had got through to the wide public so am surprised by some of the responses...."

How sad is that...

I wouldn't want anyone kissing my baby at all, but I've struggled with herpes simplex since childhood after an elderly relative with a cold sore kissed me on the mouth. I have no idea how common that is, but I was very careful with my ds when he was small and people were all queuing up to touch.

Get her a chemical hazard suit

It would piss me off, and I would say something. Start wearing baby in a sling so your mum can’t get to her

Ah thanks Rousette I'd missed that one Fair point then!

If you're so uptight about this at 3 months I dread to think the state you'll be in 10 years on!

I think you need to calm the fuck down. She clearly loves the baby. It only lasts a short while - by the time your dd is a toddler she might decide to make a run for Santiago to avoid any sort of holding or kissing, so in the meantime get over yourself.

I think it's revolting too, OP.

MIL kisses DD on her open mouth and I really don't like it - why deliberately give a child whatever cold you have? And why teach it to slobber everywhere through your example?

No kissing of babies - I thought that message had got through to the wide public so am surprised by some of the responses

Then lock me up as I smother my DGD this age in kisses as well.

I don't open her baby grow etc though unless I'm changing her or bathing her.

Oh, and MIL also likes to 'clean' DD's hands if she's been eating something messy by sucking them. I just hate it. If that makes me uptight, so be it!