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AIBU?

To HATE my mother kissing my baby

280 replies

yadayadayesokay · 17/03/2018 15:53

My DD is 3 months old. I didn’t think I would have a problem with people kissing her and I generally don’t. We have had the usual large amount of visitors to come and meet and of course hold and kiss my DD. Not a problem whatsoever. But then it comes to my mother and I just can’t stand it. She doesn’t just kiss her a couple of times like other people, she will SMOTHER her in kisses constantly, all over. Hair, head, forehead, cheeks, nose, hands (which I particularly hate because they go straight in her mouth) opens up her onesie to blow raspberries on her belly, ‘eats’ her feet. I know there’s nothing out of the ordinary here but for me it’s just the amount that she does it. The kissing her all over her face all the time is how myself and my DP kiss her, as she’s our baby! I just wish she would calm down a bit. I suspect most others wouldn’t have a problem with this. AIBU?

OP posts:

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LimonViola · 22/03/2018 19:18

Also I'm sorry but it's out of order when posters try lay the guilt on with 'you should accept anything from her because you're lucky she's still alive, unlike my mum', how on earth does that help? My mum is dead and I wouldn't even think for a second to use that as an argument for a totally separate person in a completely different scenario to tolerate something they're not comfortable with :/ yeah my mum is dead but if she was alive I wouldn't be tolerating this!

LimonViola · 22/03/2018 19:15

YANBU. That is gross. Have only read the first two pages but hope you found a way to stand your ground!

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 22/03/2018 19:09

Chill. She’ll calm down around the time your DD gets her first stinking cold.

bluebellsparklypants · 20/03/2018 20:33

I'm with Troels

Supernanny1978 · 19/03/2018 20:45

Be thankful that your mum is here to love and kiss your baby. My mum died 2 years before I had my son and I would give anything to have seen her kiss and cuddle him. Babies bring lots of pleasure to lots of different people, it sounds like your baby will grow up surrounded by love

AllNamesTakenhell · 19/03/2018 19:04

Mummyofweeboys did you miss the part that the OPs mum was abusive? How is that a blessing?

chocoblock · 19/03/2018 18:25

YANBU I don't like anyone kissing a baby on the lips no matter who even grandma, can cause the child to get cold sores throughout their lives, recently read about a small baby getting herpes and nearly dying through being kissed on the lips, no need a cuddle is enough

Mummyofweeboys · 19/03/2018 18:24

Completely unreasonable. I lost my mum very suddenly last year and would do anything to have her here to give that kind of affection to my two boys. Count your blessings.

AllNamesTakenhell · 19/03/2018 17:45

So many people projecting here: how great their relationship is with their mum, how doting they are...do people just ignore the fact that the OP and her mum don't have that relationship because of her mum's past behaviour?

AllNamesTakenhell · 19/03/2018 17:42

Fucking poor form Lalala2018, the OP got abuse not kisses.

Gottagetmoving · 19/03/2018 15:18

That's because we now know more about the spread of infectious diseases and how weak babies' immune systems are, not because we've become cold and uncaring. When it was discovered that the spread of disease could be stemmed by proper hand washing

But we aren't talking about hand washing, unless the OP's mother had dirty hands and face?
There is also the point that a baby has to develop and build up a strong immune system. They do this by close contact with family. Obviously, you would expect your family to be clean but assuming they are,...then close contact has more benefits than negatives.
There's a healthy levels of hygiene but there is also an OTT level.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 19/03/2018 09:34

Right? What's that got to do with the OP longtallwalker?

longtallwalker · 19/03/2018 09:16

I have just read the phrase 'no kissing of babies' and shuddered.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 19/03/2018 09:07

Lalala2018 did you miss the post about how the OP's mum was horribly abusive to her as a child? Let's hope that's your excuse any way.

Lalala2018 · 19/03/2018 09:04

This reply has been deleted

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clarkl2 · 19/03/2018 08:16

Birdsgo..... what a thoroughly weird comment!!

thehairyhog · 19/03/2018 07:41

I can understand where you’re coming from a little. I don’t have the yuck germs thing, but it’s actually not hugely respectful to be constantly smothering kisses - a bit like tickling. A little - fine, but constant? Yes she’s a baby, but she’s a person not a thing. I can understand not liking that.

Having said that, didn’t op say her and her partner do the same? Sounds like the OP’s protective urge. So in that respect perhaps yab a little u. I’d let them have their relationship, but if it’s really OTT perhaps seet a small boundary.

Probably best to find a balance.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 19/03/2018 07:13

Why are posters ignoring the fact the OP has said she's happy for people to cuddle and kiss her baby but she doesn't want her mum to kiss her baby all over its face and mouth?

Stop being so mean and read the bloody thread!

selfID · 19/03/2018 06:51

This reply has been deleted

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troodiedoo · 19/03/2018 06:45

@goose1964 the giggling is an involuntary reaction. Doesn't mean they are enjoying it.

cheval · 18/03/2018 22:20

Count yourself lucky your in laws aren’t Greek. Happens to your kids when they’re adults. Maybe not the foot sucking thing though, now that is weird.

Devora13 · 18/03/2018 22:17

I notice so many people posting here based on their feelings and rights, not those of the baby. And then there are the health issues. Yes, times have changed. That's because we now know more about the spread of infectious diseases and how weak babies' immune systems are, not because we've become cold and uncaring. When it was discovered that the spread of disease could be stemmed by proper hand washing, I expect their were people who said 'We never washed hands in my day' (without noticing that probably 50% of children died before they reached double figures due to preventable illnesses). Think on, before you jump on the 'my rights to kiss baby' wagon.

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goose1964 · 18/03/2018 22:15

I think you're being a bit unreasonable,I'm a doting Gran and I give my grandson loads of kisses , usually on top of his head but also on the chheks , blowing raspberries on a babies belly is fun for the baby, have you never noticed how much they giggle?.

Just be glad she loves your baby .It won't be long before the baby turns into a silly teenager.

Devora13 · 18/03/2018 22:10

www.babygaga.com/13-horrific-reasons-not-to-let-people-kiss-the-baby/

troodiedoo · 18/03/2018 21:41

The pregnancy boards are full of posts bemoaning other people touching your bump. It's pretty much universally agreed that that's outrageously overstepping boundaries.

Seems once the baby pops out it's fair game for some.

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