To HATE my mother kissing my baby

[yadayadayesokay]

My DD is 3 months old. I didn’t think I would have a problem with people kissing her and I generally don’t. We have had the usual large amount of visitors to come and meet and of course hold and kiss my DD. Not a problem whatsoever. But then it comes to my mother and I just can’t stand it. She doesn’t just kiss her a couple of times like other people, she will SMOTHER her in kisses constantly, all over. Hair, head, forehead, cheeks, nose, hands (which I particularly hate because they go straight in her mouth) opens up her onesie to blow raspberries on her belly, ‘eats’ her feet. I know there’s nothing out of the ordinary here but for me it’s just the amount that she does it. The kissing her all over her face all the time is how myself and my DP kiss her, as she’s our baby! I just wish she would calm down a bit. I suspect most others wouldn’t have a problem with this. AIBU?

[TheNewSchmoo]

I see lots of "only on MN" posts, and generally think some people just post to be contrary. But not kissing babies because of Herpes? Come on....

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

MrsK it's not just MN that don't kiss their family on the lips. Nobody in my family does it. But we are very tactile and hug all the time

[demirose87]

You're unreasonable. Your mum is entitled to show her feelings for her grandchild. It's nice that she has that relationship with her. You wouldn't like it if she was the opposite and ignored your child.

[MrsKoala]

But you are on MN to me

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

My family aren't though. And fwiw I don't know anyone that does kiss their grown up children and parents on the lips tbh.

[cookiescookiescookies]

Never in my life have I known anyone to kiss their parents on the lips as adults

I'd have run for the hills if I'd witnessed DH lock lips with MIL when we were dating!!

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

Urgh exactly cookie 😝

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

Don't be posting shite now, Caffeine. Cold sores are spread through contact with an open sore (directly or through an intermediary such as hands, cups etc.). This is a fact

According to the herpes charity it’s possible to shed virus and transmit the virus when you do not have an active sore, minimal risk but possible

[gamerchick]

I personally think that if you are sexually active, dating etc, then you shouldn't be kissing a baby in the way that you describe. If she is celibate/with your Dad then leave her to it.

Has to be one of the most batshit things I’ve read on here and that’s saying something, bravo

Although I wouldn’t like to walk around the mind of the person who wrote that. Some dark shit going on in there!

Personally the more people who adore our kids the better. Babies don’t mind being kissed.

[pallisers]

This would bug me too. I wouldn't mind a few kisses but this level as the OP describes would irritate me. We are all different - others wouldn't be put out by this. I would.

I think your brother has it. If it were my mum I would just repeat that "baby not lollipop mum" and make a bit of a joke about it.

But I'd have said something long since. I never felt my parents love for their grandchildren was dependent on me putting up with everything and anything. My dad loved to rock babies to sleep - he could turn a baby who went to sleep happily in his cot into into a screaming basket case requiring rocking to sleep in 48 hours. So my sis and I would tell him not to. In fact I told him not to when both of us were babysitting my niece. He managed to remain a loving and important grandparent (and to tell us when he disagreed with us)

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

www.herpes-coldsores.com/viral_shedding.htm

[Roussette]

gamerchick I was hoping what I was reading was a joke, it seems not!

dontcallmelen I just know I'm going to be like you! I have 3 adult DCs and no hope of a GC yet but I was an older mother so am hoping they'll just get on with it before I'm incapable of kissing not on the lips a GC!

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

gamer that was Birds now far be it for me to talk for someone else but given how sensible she is it’s likely she’s messing.

[Lethaldrizzle]

I'm a bit confused now. Should we not even be kissing our own babies ?!

[Roussette]

pallisers totally agree with your last para. We know our own kids and we can say... that won't work, or please don't do that.

[dontcallmelen]

@Rousette aww I hope you get your wish, I am truly besotted I have amazed myself, I didn’t think I had such capacity for love😍

[MrsKoala]

But i'm still hearing the information thru MN Duck, so it still only on MN to me that i hear about this opinion. I don't kiss my parents regularly but birthdays and xmas type 'happy birthday mum' lean forward both do a DRY peck on the lips. No slobbering or 'locking' of lips. That would be a kiss that lasts more than a platonic peck.

Some people are letting their imagination run away with itself. I also can't see what being sexually active has to do with kissing a relative/child

[MrsKoala]

i am hoping it was a joke post. But i do remember one a few years ago where someone was really aerated about' what if you'd given a blow job the night before and then kissed your child the next day.' it was totally out there.

[Octopus37]

Sorry, I'm another one who says just be glad your Mum is around to be a loving Grandma. My MIL died 3 years ago and my boys really miss her. It's 16 years on Monday since my Mum died and tbh feel bloody sore about it and about everything we have all missed out on. I can understand health concerns, but try to get some perspective

[DistanceCall]

I live in Spain, where people are much more tactile in general, and with children in particular. What you say sounds completely normal to me, an affectionate granny. And I would suspect that you have your own issues with your Mum.

[GirlsBlouse17]

YABU she is showering her grandchild with love

[ittakes2]

Yuck! No one kissed my babies like that! Please make sure she doesn’t get cold sores which are very dangerous for small babies - scroll down on the nhs advice. www.nhs.uk/conditions/neonatal-herpes/

[troodiedoo]

YANBU OP. I'd tell her to ease up. Your baby can't consent to this onslaught of saliva so you have to do the honours.

[user789653241]

Excessive contact with newborn's skin isn't really good. My nephew developed skin reaction from his gran's make up on her face. My sister was really not happy about that, I even remember it even it's long time ago. Also mouth kissing is not acceptable, they may transfer germs that babies are not immune yet!

[VladmirsPoutine]

Why are we now talking about cold sores and herpes? Did OP mention that? Whatever next? AIDs?