To HATE my mother kissing my baby

[yadayadayesokay]

My DD is 3 months old. I didn’t think I would have a problem with people kissing her and I generally don’t. We have had the usual large amount of visitors to come and meet and of course hold and kiss my DD. Not a problem whatsoever. But then it comes to my mother and I just can’t stand it. She doesn’t just kiss her a couple of times like other people, she will SMOTHER her in kisses constantly, all over. Hair, head, forehead, cheeks, nose, hands (which I particularly hate because they go straight in her mouth) opens up her onesie to blow raspberries on her belly, ‘eats’ her feet. I know there’s nothing out of the ordinary here but for me it’s just the amount that she does it. The kissing her all over her face all the time is how myself and my DP kiss her, as she’s our baby! I just wish she would calm down a bit. I suspect most others wouldn’t have a problem with this. AIBU?

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

I agree with you OP. Nothing wrong with kissing a baby ( as long as you don't have the lurgy or cold sores ) on the head or hands etc but not on the lips and all over the face.

[derxa]

she’s our baby

[Batteriesallgone]

If you're so uptight about this at 3 months I dread to think the state you'll be in 10 years on!

Oh come off it. Babies need their parents to be protective of them, it’s a built in instinct to protect them because they are so vulnerable!

It’s only right to wrap your baby in a million layers of cotton wool which you then gradually unwrap as they grow. I found, at that age, if anyone else held my baby for too long my body ached to have them back. It wears off as they grow, but a parents protection and closeness to their baby is a beautiful thing. It shouldn’t be derided.

[Evelynismycatsformerspyname]

Tilly that's a ridiculous thing to say. The gran isn't going to be doing this to a ten year old (surely nobody would think that's normal)!

It is excessive and a bit nauseating yaday especially as she sees the baby daily. My mother was weird with my dc2 - wouldn't give him back, she stayed two weeks when he was 2-4 weeks old and it was quite upsetting, she didn't seem to want anyone else near him, and I was breastfeeding, felt as though I was only allowed to feed and change his nappy, and he stank of her excessive amount of perfume. I bit my tongue but made sure her stay after dc3 was born was far briefer. She isn't really interested in dc2 now he's bigger than her and usually covered in mud, she only has eyes for her granddaughters and children small enough to be cute, or ideally babies.

It's a baby thing. No reflection of how much she'll love the child in 10 years. Some people are nauseating with other people's babies. It will pass, but if you live so close I might want to find some way to make it less automatic... I guess you can look forward to weaning and hope being covered in smeared food puts her off! :o

[MadRainbow]

@user1490607838 the OP didn't say her DM dribbles or is snogging the child did she? Just kisses and unless I live on a different planet they very rarely come slobbery. My comment was based far more on the MY baby comment and having experienced it from the child's perspective, I know how sad it can be to have a parent be possessive against what should be a close family member.

[NewYearNewMe18]

@Birdsgottafly I personally think that if you are sexually active, dating etc, then you shouldn't be kissing a baby in the way that you describe. If she is celibate/with your Dad then leave her to it.


Dear God ! I assume you only have one child or no bathroom in your house - I'm loath to mention, but you do realise a baby come out of a vagina, which a penis goes into .

[TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag]

I would have said ywbu until I saw your update (not envy). Yanbu. That sounds gross, regardless of who is doing the slobbering.

Tbh I wouldn’t do that level of slobbering to my own Dcs either though, so if you do it to your dd, then it’s a little less obvious to me why you have such a problem with your mum doing it.

It does sound revolting though.

[IanRushesInadequateFlushes]

Batteries - really? Christ. Mine just ached to leave the baby on them for an hour and have some actual unbroken sleep

[ArchibaldsDaddy]

I'd find it a bit cringeworthy...but that's about it, I think.

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

Even with your own grandchildren I think it's overstepping the mark kissing them all over their face and on the mouth. I wouldn't have liked anyone doing it to my dc so I wouldn't do it to my GC.

[NorthernKnickers]

I honestly don't think I've EVER covered a baby in saliva when I've kissed it...even in my most enthusiastic baby kissing moments my lips have remained dry!! No saliva dibbles out...I'm a 'non-saliva-kissing' granny!! (how very weird and OCD of people to think this!!)

You would greatly upset your Mum if you told her to stop kissing your baby! Very sad 😔

[FranticallyPeaceful]

Awww herpes. I don’t even kiss my own kids on the lips for that reason.
Also does she know that harmless (for adults) viruses can cause meningitis in babies and children? Especially babies of course.

[Roussette]

I really don't think babies should be kissed on the mouth but I'd like to think that if ever my DCs had babies I would be able to plant a kiss on their chubby cheeks. As we're very tactile I doubt it'll be a problem and I am the wide public. Everyone I know who has GC kisses them, MN is so weird sometimes

[BuzzKillington]

I would've hated anyone kissing mine on the mouth. In fact, the OTT slobbering all over her would be nauseating.

[Roussette]

Some people are nauseating with other people's babies

How very sad is this. This is the OP's Mum! The baby's grandmother. I'd hardly call it nauseating to be excited to see your own grandchild.

OP, you can say 'Mum you are being OTT with the kissing!' in a nice way, make a joke of it etc.

[user1490607838]

Too grim for words. Slobbering all over a little baby. I would tell her to fucking pack it in! Herpes, cold sores, yakky.

Make her stop!!!

[Octave777]

If you don't like it fair enough. Could you just tell your mum. She could understand?

[Lobsterface]

What’s with the hand thing?

Did you post something similar recently?

[peachgreen]

I understand OP. I also hate it when my mum calls my baby HER baby, ie "who's my lovely girl" etc. But I have a difficult relationship with my Mum which I'm sure impacts how I feel about it.

[QualityDogWrangler2]

I think it’s horrible to be honest, and I wouldn’t suffer my children, now or as babies, being kissed by anyone.
It’s quite gross.
Tell your mother and other visitors, you don’t like it. I would, have wet wipes ready for when the next person attempts to, and wipe the baby straight away. ( water wet wipes, are very handy)
If your mother persists, explain the HV or Doctor, thinks there is a lot of Hand Foot and Mouth disease going around, and say the baby need to be left alone.
I wouldn’t let anyone do it to be honest, and it isn’t normal, it’s infant8le,and rather disgusting.

[Lithiumsmummy]

I have cold sores, caught them from my Mother as a child. When they are active, I don't kiss anybody, when they ARE NOT ACTIVE & SHEDDING THE VIRUS, KISSING IS FINE. My son, does not have cold sores.
The reason you kiss your baby all over the face is because your Mum did it to you. The really sad thing is, you don't feel you can just talk to your Mum & tell her it makes you uncomfortable. After all, one would assume you are happy to leave some Babysitting duties up to her? Don't sit & fester until you blow up. I imagine she has no idea how much it is upsetting you.

[Rudi44]

She clearly adores her granddaughter and that's a wonderful thing. My father can give or take my daughter, I wish he was as consumed by love for her as your mother so obviously is for her beloved grandchild.

[missyB1]

Another example of when mumsnet feels like a parallel universe! Meantime back in the real world it’s perfectly normal for grandparents to kiss their grandchildren, and no one is freaking out about herpes or anything else. And I’m pretty sure OP’s mum can control her saliva and isn’t constantly dribbling.

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

Absolutely nothing wrong with kissing your GC missy but not when it's all over their faces and mouths.

[RebelRogue]

Where is all this slobber coming from?
Is there a special saliva gland that activates when you kiss grandchildren?
I've never slobbered,drooled or covered DD(or any other baby )in spit no matter how many times i kissed her.


Unless she's actually licking her then YANBU