To HATE my mother kissing my baby

[yadayadayesokay]

My DD is 3 months old. I didn’t think I would have a problem with people kissing her and I generally don’t. We have had the usual large amount of visitors to come and meet and of course hold and kiss my DD. Not a problem whatsoever. But then it comes to my mother and I just can’t stand it. She doesn’t just kiss her a couple of times like other people, she will SMOTHER her in kisses constantly, all over. Hair, head, forehead, cheeks, nose, hands (which I particularly hate because they go straight in her mouth) opens up her onesie to blow raspberries on her belly, ‘eats’ her feet. I know there’s nothing out of the ordinary here but for me it’s just the amount that she does it. The kissing her all over her face all the time is how myself and my DP kiss her, as she’s our baby! I just wish she would calm down a bit. I suspect most others wouldn’t have a problem with this. AIBU?

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

Erm the OP's baby is her possession whilst that baby is unable to speak for herself. And you have no right calling the OP stark raving bonkers quite frankly coming out with that sort of nonsense.

[Devora13]

TBH it does sound a bit OTT to me, and maybe it's triggering something in you as you have subconscious recollection of this type of intrusive behaviour when you were tiny (intrusive being when baby has had enough but parent doesn't heed the signals). Maybe gently explain that you appreciate Mum loves the baby very much, but that you would prefer it if she could be a little less smoochie? Although I would also observe how your baby responds. Is she loving it, or turning away, struggling etc?

[Peekaboooo]

I totally feel and understand you! My little one is 9 weeks and my boyfriend nieces kiss her and touch her too, but only they are teenegers and I noticed they had dirty nails. I am very protective too and I wish people would understand unless its your own baby you should consider to be more appropriate . Unfortunately they dont. Obviously also hard to say something , because most probably she would take it the wrong way. Not sure what to advice as I am in the same situation, but hopefully it will make you feel better that you are not on your own. As other people said on here its blessing and you should be pleased she get love, I also thing there is common sense people should use and understand to be too over isnt appropriate . X

[cherish123]

Your mum is being a bit OTT and I would find it a bit disgusting. Either tell her to tone it down or accept it. I would probably go for the former but you know your mum and whether she will take umbrage or not.

[troodiedoo]

The pregnancy boards are full of posts bemoaning other people touching your bump. It's pretty much universally agreed that that's outrageously overstepping boundaries.

Seems once the baby pops out it's fair game for some.

[Devora13]

www.babygaga.com/13-horrific-reasons-not-to-let-people-kiss-the-baby/

[goose1964]

I think you're being a bit unreasonable,I'm a doting Gran and I give my grandson loads of kisses , usually on top of his head but also on the chheks , blowing raspberries on a babies belly is fun for the baby, have you never noticed how much they giggle?.

Just be glad she loves your baby .It won't be long before the baby turns into a silly teenager.

[Devora13]

I notice so many people posting here based on their feelings and rights, not those of the baby. And then there are the health issues. Yes, times have changed. That's because we now know more about the spread of infectious diseases and how weak babies' immune systems are, not because we've become cold and uncaring. When it was discovered that the spread of disease could be stemmed by proper hand washing, I expect their were people who said 'We never washed hands in my day' (without noticing that probably 50% of children died before they reached double figures due to preventable illnesses). Think on, before you jump on the 'my rights to kiss baby' wagon.

[cheval]

Count yourself lucky your in laws aren’t Greek. Happens to your kids when they’re adults. Maybe not the foot sucking thing though, now that is weird.

[troodiedoo]

@goose1964 the giggling is an involuntary reaction. Doesn't mean they are enjoying it.

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

Why are posters ignoring the fact the OP has said she's happy for people to cuddle and kiss her baby but she doesn't want her mum to kiss her baby all over its face and mouth?

Stop being so mean and read the bloody thread!

[thehairyhog]

I can understand where you’re coming from a little. I don’t have the yuck germs thing, but it’s actually not hugely respectful to be constantly smothering kisses - a bit like tickling. A little - fine, but constant? Yes she’s a baby, but she’s a person not a thing. I can understand not liking that.

Having said that, didn’t op say her and her partner do the same? Sounds like the OP’s protective urge. So in that respect perhaps yab a little u. I’d let them have their relationship, but if it’s really OTT perhaps seet a small boundary.

Probably best to find a balance.

[clarkl2]

Birdsgo..... what a thoroughly weird comment!!

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

Lalala2018 did you miss the post about how the OP's mum was horribly abusive to her as a child? Let's hope that's your excuse any way.

[longtallwalker]

I have just read the phrase 'no kissing of babies' and shuddered.

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

Right? What's that got to do with the OP longtallwalker?

[Gottagetmoving]

That's because we now know more about the spread of infectious diseases and how weak babies' immune systems are, not because we've become cold and uncaring. When it was discovered that the spread of disease could be stemmed by proper hand washing

But we aren't talking about hand washing, unless the OP's mother had dirty hands and face?
There is also the point that a baby has to develop and build up a strong immune system. They do this by close contact with family. Obviously, you would expect your family to be clean but assuming they are,...then close contact has more benefits than negatives.
There's a healthy levels of hygiene but there is also an OTT level.

[AllNamesTakenhell]

Fucking poor form Lalala2018, the OP got abuse not kisses.

[AllNamesTakenhell]

So many people projecting here: how great their relationship is with their mum, how doting they are...do people just ignore the fact that the OP and her mum don't have that relationship because of her mum's past behaviour?

[Mummyofweeboys]

Completely unreasonable. I lost my mum very suddenly last year and would do anything to have her here to give that kind of affection to my two boys. Count your blessings.

[chocoblock]

YANBU I don't like anyone kissing a baby on the lips no matter who even grandma, can cause the child to get cold sores throughout their lives, recently read about a small baby getting herpes and nearly dying through being kissed on the lips, no need a cuddle is enough

[AllNamesTakenhell]

Mummyofweeboys did you miss the part that the OPs mum was abusive? How is that a blessing?