DP and I got engaged on NYE.
Initially I wanted to have 5 bridesmaids, however, we’ve decided on 3.
I’ve had to tell two of my close friends (who do not know each other) that it had been a hard decision but I cannot have them as bridesmaids.
1st friend was very understanding, she knew it was a hard decision that I’ve had to make and is happy to be a part of our big day.
2nd friend was not very understanding. Instead we have had a massive row over this.
She has been very judgemental and started comparing herself to the 3 girls I have chosen.
Kept on asking but why? “I’m shocked that you’ve chosen these girls over me, Ive been a better friend to you then they have.”
I’ve told her that she cannot compare herself, it’s my decision, please respect it. I was totally honest and told her that I feel closer to them than I am with her. After arguing over this, I suggested to meet up (when she has calmed down) and chat face to face as messaging can be a misunderstanding. After a couple of months, DF gets in touch and we plan a catch up.
During our catch up, she is still judging my friendship with these other girls and comparing herself to them. I told her the truth and said that I feel closer with these other girls and I that if we had got engaged a couple years back, she might have made the cut, or if I were to have 5, she would be one of them.
She starts to cry and tells me that I see “perceive this friendship” differently.
At the end of this, we hug and I say: I understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore, I’ll give you some time to reflect.
I have not heard from her for a month now.
I don’t know what to do… Where I stand? What is she thinking? Do I make her a bridesmaid, just to save our friendship?
Should I message her even though I said give her time?