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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be shocked

174 replies

nickedaname · 15/03/2018 21:45

My son has just come back from an Army Insight course. He spent a night out on patrol; ran a mile and a half; marched around; took all the shouting and drilling and so on. That was fine.

However, he was a bit surprised at the behaviour of some of the seasoned soldiers who were running the course. In fact he was quite shocked by some of the behaviour and some of the things the men said.

Some of the boys on the course were 16 (like my son) and the men were about twice their age.

I do not want to say too much about the behaviour or the content of what was said, but I was a bit shocked. My son said the men were 'desensitised' and he does not usually use words of more than two syllables.

I don't expect soldiers to act like angels, but I was a bit shocked when my son told me about their behaviour and the topics of discussion. AIBU to feel this was insight into something the army would not be proud of?

OP posts:
Fattymcfaterson · 15/03/2018 21:46

Well it's hard to gauge when you've not given any hint to what they were saying?

ReggaetonLente · 15/03/2018 21:47

Really depend what they were talking about I think.

FireworksAndSparklers · 15/03/2018 21:48

Were you shocked by them talking about wearing odd socks sometimes or leaving the toilet seat up?

It's a little hard to respond when you're not saying what you and your son were shocked by!

HopefullyAnonymous · 15/03/2018 21:52

And the prize for the most vague thread ever goes to....!

Hard to tell really, with the info given. I am intrigued though!

M00nUnit · 15/03/2018 21:52

No idea OP as you haven't said what it is that's shocked you.

Anasnake · 15/03/2018 21:53

Maybe the army isn't for him ?

RLOU88 · 15/03/2018 21:54

You’ve made a thread about nothing 😂Grin

ObiJuanKenobi · 15/03/2018 21:54

Sorry, what?

Stayandfight · 15/03/2018 21:54

I think he may need to look for a career elsewhere.

Paperplain · 15/03/2018 21:54

Ha, that's like saying I was shocked my something that happened today. I can't tell you what but was Ibu I being shocked?! Who knows!!!?

RLOU88 · 15/03/2018 21:55

I forgot to add a well done to your son for attending you must be proud x

arethereanyleftatall · 15/03/2018 21:55

Don't know op.

You've basically just said
'Someone said something horrid to me. I can't tell you what. Were they horrid?'

SomeKnobend · 15/03/2018 21:55

Album to be shocked at something, but I'm not going to tell you what it was? Err...

Livinglifepeachy · 15/03/2018 21:56

Urm wakanda thread is this 😂

SomeKnobend · 15/03/2018 21:56

Ah, stupid autocorrect! *aibu, not album!

Original poster
nickedaname · 15/03/2018 21:57

Jokes about rape. Grabbing each others balls (not touching the trainees though), driving like idiots in trucks down country roads and talking about blowing [people] up on campaign.

Sorry about being vague. This is a genuine question. Should I be shocked or not? They were hardened soldiers but even so...

OP posts:
BakedBeans47 · 15/03/2018 21:58

How on earth can we say if you’re BU if you won’t tell us what they said?

What a pointless thread Biscuit

Thesmallthings · 15/03/2018 21:58

I'd tell him to get used to it.

Df is in the raf and the language and conversations they have would make the "devil" blush

Unihorn · 15/03/2018 21:59

That sounds like the all male kitchen team at my restaurant so I would say it's probably normal for the army. I certainly wouldn't be surprised.

Tistheseason17 · 15/03/2018 21:59

OP, I understand what you mean and can guess the conversations.
My friend was in Bosnia and it changed him and he became desensitized to human behaviours.
He explained that you do this to cope with what you see.
Army is not for everyone. He did well to attend.

TheRebel · 15/03/2018 22:01

These are people who are trained to kill other humans, I’m not sure there’s anything they could say or do that would shock me.

He should consider himself lucky to have had a true insight into what it would be like, imagine how he’d feel if they’d been all sweetness and light and then he’d joined up and found out the truth!

ObiJuanKenobi · 15/03/2018 22:01

That wouldn't surprise me one bit - that's not to say it's right though.
One of DPs friends is a marine and nice as pie around us but around 'work mates' he's like a different person and they are told to shock new recruits to 'weed out' the 'snowflakes' and make sure those starting are tough headed and not phased by what they might experience in the field.

FlashTheSloth · 15/03/2018 22:01

The army isn't for your son if he is shocked by this. My brother is in the army. There is a very close camaraderie between him and his army mates, but them talking like this would not surprise me in the slightest and there is an element of the ultimate ladish behaviour. I also don't understand most of what they say on Facebook. They seem to have their own language!

Livinglifepeachy · 15/03/2018 22:03

Dp is ex army... I just asked him and his response was giggle giggle 🤭..

Montgomerystubercles · 15/03/2018 22:04

That is the kind of thing soldiers talk/joke about. I spent the last decade there. It sounds like a good insight to be honest. If your son didn't like it maybe consider officer entry, or another service.