AIBU to think some people should just grow up

[ithinksheisawuss]

Details changed and I’ve name changed to stop it being identifiable.

AIBU to think some people just need to grow up and get on with it at work?

I work in a busy fast paced environment. It’s a big office with two distinct areas. On one side are the sales people this is high stress and loud, on the other side is the support staff area which is much gentler. The support staff are mainly older women, the sales staff are a mixed bunch.

The sales side is very robust, lots of swearing and mickey taking. Some days people let off steam by shouting we all just laugh and get on with it, no one takes offence. When someone shouts we laugh at them then they laugh and the tension breaks. We need this release sometimes.

Anyway, one of the support ladies lady S was doing a job at the sales end of the office colleague A put the phone down and started to shout. Lady S asked a question of colleague A and colleague A shouted. She didn’t shout at lady S - she was just shouty iyswim.

Lady S has put in a formal complaint saying she has been bullied and colleague A was unprofessional. Colleague A often behaves like this it’s her passion that makes her good at her job.

If all the sales staff behaved in the quiet demure way the support staff do no sales would get made! But the whole support area is up in arms about poor lady S.

TBH I think lady S is a bit of a wuss but I am wondering if I am too harsh. Colleague A is really valuable to the business, lady S is easily replaceable.

Colleague A is really valuable to the business, lady S is easily replaceable.

That doesn't mean A can treat S like a piece of shit. A needs to calm the fuck down.

Yes sounds like your sales team should grow up.

Some people certainly should grow up. The salespeople who think shouting at colleagues for no reason is acceptable behaviour really need to grow up.

Think the people who need to grow up are the toddlers hyped up on sugar sales staff who can't moderate their important shouties for enough time to have basic politeness towards another member of staff.

Shouting at colleagues is never acceptable.

Your sales team sound highly unprofessional.

Many people work in high stress and bust jobs without needing to blow off steam by shouting or swearing.

You need to grow up yourself.

Busy not bust

It’s not lady S who needs to grow up, it’s your sales lot! There is no need for shouting. Surely A could moderate her voice/talk at a normal level if she wasn’t speaking to a sales colleague??

Seems silly to file a report vs having a word in private with the offending party first.

"Colleague A often behaves like this it’s her passion that makes her good at her job"

This contains two common excuses for bullying: that the behaviour is necessary to get the job done as well as it needs to be done, and that treating other people like crap is fine if it's because you feel strongly about things.

Both these excuses are bullshit.

#teamladyS

I can see where she is coming from but everyone in the sales team knows the rules, has a laugh, it makes our working day more fun. If we all turn in to quiet little demure, well behaved people it will impact upon morale.

We can 'behave' and if profit falls then people will loose their jobs and it sure as shit won't be colleague A who goes. Lady A will be looking for job.

So calm down, don't get tense it may impact on profits but that's ok says MN.

The sales staff should grow up. Yes you might need a certain style and attitude on the phone to make sales, doesn’t mean it’s alright to shout at your colleagues for no reason.

Would person A have still found it impossible to speak professionally and at a normal volume if it was someone of higher status who was asking them a question? The head of HR or similar?

Boss is ex sales - she gets shouted out and laughed at like the rest of us.

So it's just a little company then?

Not giving details like size of company or what we sell.

I think if A is unable to be good at her job without getting wound up enough to shout then she probably isn’t all that good at it.

Why is she incapable at being effective at her job without getting loud and well, a bit silly?

Your work environment sounds as though it’s staffed by toddlers.

You’re defending the bad behaviour a lot. I’m betting you’re either A, or act the same and this is touching a raw nerve.

Grow up.

God you all sound horrible - having a laugh for grown ups and fun does not involve shouting at people.

being passionate does not allow you to treat people like that

being sales does not make you better than the support staff. You need them as well treat them as if they are people

You sound like a bully as well to be quite honest

Maybe the sales team could regulate their behaviour to suit their audience. If anyone shouted at me at work they'd be bloody sorry. Nobody should be expected to put up with that.

So a bloke acts like a dick towards a women, then all the other blokes make excuses for the dickhead when the woman complains. Is that the gist of it, OP?

I really don’t think profit is going to fall if you start treating people with basic respect. Most people don’t need to be told to ‘behave’ at work they already know not to behave like teenage show offs.

YABU Your side of the office sounds like a horrible place to work. Have the sales team considered applying en masse to go on The Apprentice? Presumably you all check that nobody is on the phone before you get "shouty" as I doubt if your clients would be impressed either.

You sound like a toddler. What a horrible workplace.