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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Moustache shadow .. with photo :-(

258 replies

Glitterzzz · 15/03/2018 09:21

I know this might not sound a big problem to a lot of people but I have a constant female moustache shadows on my upper lips. I don’t even have a problem with hair it’s juts this constant blue/ grey tinge that has got worse and worse over the last couple of years.

I don’t smoke I’m not on birth control and don’t have any hormone issues I’m aware of. I’ve tried home remedies, chemical peels and led light treatments, vitimans and every expensive covering foundation on the market from £6 to £45 and nothing hides it.

I’m so so self conscious of it now. I’m not making eye contact with people even walking to my car all I can think is of the shadow. I see people staring at the area also.. when I cover it I use peach/ red liostick then concealer and then foundation and it still is there ...

I’m getting desperate. My partner hasn’t said a word but I seem him looking at it almost in shock .. I didn’t have this a couple years ago when we met. I’m so sick of hiding my face with my hands, not having confidence to even look people I know in the face.. and worst all I cannot even cover it and go about my day... please help! Does anyone have this problem ? Could my Gp help!

Moustache shadow .. with photo :-(
OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Greenglassteacup · 15/03/2018 09:49

Body dysmorphic disorder?

PenelopeFlintstone · 15/03/2018 09:51

OP, do you mean there's actually no hair there but a skin discolouration which makes it look like a shaving shadow? Is that right?

AgathaF · 15/03/2018 09:51

I can't see anything at all.

WhatWouldOliviaPopeDo · 15/03/2018 09:52

Agree with PP - I can't see a shadow and your skin looks perfectly normal. I think this is a mind issue for you to deal with, not a physical one.

Greenglassteacup · 15/03/2018 09:55

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), occasionally still called dysmorphophobia, is a mental disorder characterized by the obsessive idea that some aspect of one's own appearance is severely flawed and warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix it. ... BDD is estimated to affect up to 2.4% of the population.

Original poster
Glitterzzz · 15/03/2018 09:55

I don’t have a problem with hair ... apart from the normal occasional one.. it’s the whole top lip has a blue / grey tinge to it . I’ll try another photo because for some reason nobody seems to see it it’s bloody screaming obvious in this one

Moustache shadow .. with photo :-(
OP posts:
Greenglassteacup · 15/03/2018 09:56

I can’t see anything OP

Original poster
Glitterzzz · 15/03/2018 09:56

This final photos ^^ you cannot miss it.

OP posts:
PerfPower · 15/03/2018 09:56

If anything, your skin looks ever so slightly lighter below your nose. I had to really look closely though. Just a thought, but I'm quite hard of hearing and I always look at peoples mouths when they talk as it helps me understand what they're saying. Maybe that's what your partner is doing?

Pfftkids · 15/03/2018 09:56

I honestly can't see a thing but I understand that doesn't help you. Why don't you try Estee lauders double wear Maximum cover, it's a cover up foundation and that bad boy covers everything and doesn't move. You practically have to chip the stuff off 😂

TheOrigBrave · 15/03/2018 09:57

do you mean that your upper lip is slightly darker than your lower?

There is no shadow above your upper lip.
Can you see that your cheeks are actually darker than your upper lip?

Inthedeepdarkwinter · 15/03/2018 09:58

Glitterzzz a lot of women with dark hair have a bit of a dark shadow on their upper lip, my teen dd has it- yours is actually not very noticeable at all , to the point that it is just unremarkable. I have light hair, and remove it by shaving it every week or two as the hairs get quite long and glint in the sunlight.

If you think pizza delivery people and people in the outside world are genuinely interested in your tache and staring at it, when most women over 35 have one, then you are starting to have some type of dysmorphia.

I don't think giving you tips on how to cope with it would help- as you are already engaged in so many things for this very minor and practically invisible thing on your face- have you talked to your partner about your behaviour/how you feel? Obviously they like you, and obviously millions, if not billions of women have dark hair and a slight shadow on their lips, so it is not something they personally care about- and it might start you thinking about how to solve this problem that is impacting your sense of wellbeing so much, and I don't mean by removing it, I mean by therapy/CBT.

PenelopeFlintstone · 15/03/2018 09:58

I can't see what you're talking about. You've got a lovely lower face.

GaraMedouar · 15/03/2018 09:58

Nope nothing there at all.

pictish · 15/03/2018 09:59

It’s not OP. Your latest post is a photograph of a perfectly normal upper lip. Really sorry...you have lost perspective on this one somewhere along the line. Please do see your GP. Xx

BlackBetha · 15/03/2018 09:59

I genuinely can't see anything wrong either. There is nothing that anyone would be staring at in shock, or that would mean you needed to hide your face.

If you are being serious, then surely this is a problem with loss of self-confidence and/or obsessional thinking, rather than with your actual face. If these thoughts are causing you distress and affecting your everyday life/relationships, then yes it might well be worth seeing the GP about that.

carryondoctor · 15/03/2018 09:59

I agree that I can’t see anything, but I can see that it’s bothering you Sad

I’m sorry I don’t have a long term solution, but in the short term recommend Benefit Erase Paste - it’s a small pot of concealer and it’s really good for stuff like that.

bluebells1 · 15/03/2018 09:59

I can see it in the last pic. I have a similar problem and I just live with it. Since this is knocking your confidence, why don't you speak to your GP/specialist and get this sorted? I am sure there must be some sort of solution to this.

TheOrigBrave · 15/03/2018 09:59

re private dermatologist.

Do you think he/she might be maybe invested in telling clients they can 'treat' their skin problems?

Inthedeepdarkwinter · 15/03/2018 10:00

I would go further, actually, and say in the that last photo, there is just no noticeable shadow at all. There just isn't. It might be in real life, but it's so light and non-noticeable the camera can't pick it up.

It is incredibly unlikely people are staring at this, this is very much in your head.

wholenewoutlook · 15/03/2018 10:00

So the private dermatologist who gets paid consultant rates to sort out skin blemishes that are considered too minor to fix under the NHS and too difficult to treat/cover by a beautician agreed with you that you have some pigmentation that no-one else can see?
How much did they charge per hour for this and how many hours do they estimate it will cost to fix it?
The pp are right OP. There is nothing to see on your photos. You need help to change the way you see and judge yourself. Before the shadow was there anything else you didn't like about your appearance that you got 'fixed'?

PenelopeFlintstone · 15/03/2018 10:01

Is it that your skin around your lipline is a bit lighter than the rest? I agree with the pp that said get that great foundation so you can feel better about it.

bastardkitty · 15/03/2018 10:02

There is nothing to see. Nothing at all.

Basseting · 15/03/2018 10:02

I cant see anything.
I appreciate that it is how you feel that matters but most 'cant see' it.
I do think you need to speak to someone about it if you are turning hallway light off so takeaway deliverer cant see your 'tache'.

BellyBean · 15/03/2018 10:02

No reason not to be honest on an Internet forum - I can't see anything! Can someone do the negative image like they do on squinty pregnancy tests? I really can't see anything!