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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Moustache shadow .. with photo :-(

258 replies

Glitterzzz · 15/03/2018 09:21

I know this might not sound a big problem to a lot of people but I have a constant female moustache shadows on my upper lips. I don’t even have a problem with hair it’s juts this constant blue/ grey tinge that has got worse and worse over the last couple of years.

I don’t smoke I’m not on birth control and don’t have any hormone issues I’m aware of. I’ve tried home remedies, chemical peels and led light treatments, vitimans and every expensive covering foundation on the market from £6 to £45 and nothing hides it.

I’m so so self conscious of it now. I’m not making eye contact with people even walking to my car all I can think is of the shadow. I see people staring at the area also.. when I cover it I use peach/ red liostick then concealer and then foundation and it still is there ...

I’m getting desperate. My partner hasn’t said a word but I seem him looking at it almost in shock .. I didn’t have this a couple years ago when we met. I’m so sick of hiding my face with my hands, not having confidence to even look people I know in the face.. and worst all I cannot even cover it and go about my day... please help! Does anyone have this problem ? Could my Gp help!

Moustache shadow .. with photo :-(
OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Roussette · 15/03/2018 10:43

You are stunning.

You have nothing there. This is now more of a body issue than a visible problem.

Bluesmartiesarebest · 15/03/2018 10:43

Op, you have lovely skin and absolutely no shadow in the upper lip area. The first thing I noticed about your skin is how clear it is. Honestly, this is Aibu and it can be ruthless here and not one pp has said they can see a 'shadow'. I think you need treating for anxiety rather than a skin problem.

Helmetbymidnight · 15/03/2018 10:45

Can't see it AT ALL.

Plus you have very pretty lips.

I think I have the opposite problem of you: my DD is always telling me about my mustache. I don't believe her.

CaptainCardamom · 15/03/2018 10:45

Nope! Normal-looking skin. Upper lip looks like the rest of your face. I am not saying that to be nice - I don't know you and I think you deserve an honest answer. If I could see it, I'd say so and suggest solutions.

OP can you at least address the idea that you could have go it out of perspective, that it's in your head? Can you see that that's a possibility?

Original poster
Glitterzzz · 15/03/2018 10:46

😌😌😌😌 I expected to get a lot of brutal but honest comments when I first posted ... I’m now sat here thinking am I mental ???? That photo is one where I haven’t tried much to hide it / didn’t have good light / no flash.. so it’s the bestest representation ...

I don’t judge other people. I couldn’t care about other people’s imperfections. I acknowledge and compliment beauty in other women all the time / even if they smell good I will tell them ! I do have a busy life, I’m 35 anda Mum of three..I just posted here before I approach the Gp

OP posts:
DeepestBlues · 15/03/2018 10:47

I see no problem. You're lovely. Hold your head high and enjoy your life.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 15/03/2018 10:49

Wow you're stunning. If you are attracting attention then it's because people are admiring your striking face.

For the millionth time, please address your paranoia and preoccupation with your perceived flaws. What a waste of your life to spend it hiding away and fixating on something. Sad

VioletteValentia · 15/03/2018 10:49

I honestly think this is a body image problem OP. I have something similar where I think I have a huge nose and everyone is staring, yet no one else sees what I see! It bothered me years ago but I gradually got over it.

I hope you feel better soon OP Flowers

Ollivander84 · 15/03/2018 10:49

There is nothing there. Honestly. I would visit your GP mostly because you are considering putting bleach on your face and that's not rational Flowers
I have gone through times of being fixated on something and for me it's when I'm actually anxious about something else

cucaracha · 15/03/2018 10:50

I expected to get a lot of brutal but honest comments when I first posted

well, you have. Grin Posters simply don't agree with you.

Inthedeepdarkwinter · 15/03/2018 10:50

Having seen your whole face, I can honestly say that this issue is in your head.

For lots of women, it isn't, they have visible dark hair on their top lip which can make them self-conscious.

This is not the case for you, in every single photo, from every angle, it just isn't visible.

You are a good-looking woman who is literally wasting their prime worrying about this. If you think that's a harsh judgement, it's only because I want you to realise that this is a pointless way to live. I fretted over my appearance from about 13 to my mid-twenties when I was a perfectly ordinary looking person, and I regret the angst and the energy I wasted on myself at this time. If I feel myself slipping back, I give myself a bit of a metaphorical slap.

I hope this thread does genuinely change your thought processes, and if it doesn't, I do suggest seeking some therapy/CBT to re-set how you think, but you can probably do that yourself if you keep re-reading and really hearing what everyone is saying.

VioletteValentia · 15/03/2018 10:51

I have gone through times of being fixated on something and for me it's when I'm actually anxious about something else

Also this.

pictish · 15/03/2018 10:51

There is no problem. You are very pretty and for want of a better term, yes...you are being mental.
See your gp. Again, you are pretty and you have no moustache shadow. Promise. Xx

IsItThatTimeAlready131 · 15/03/2018 10:52

Sorry OP, I can't agree with you.

Your skin looks more evenly coloured across your whole face than a lot of us out here. Some of us would like to look more like you!

You are very pretty and I think you are being very harsh on yourself, you see something you don't think is perfect and want to try to make it perfect, we see otherwise. We all have a different view of what an ideal is, your view doesn't fit with what you have. In those circumstances I would recommend trying to find a way to alter how you think about yourself, easier said than done, I know, but with help you can feel more comfortable with that upper lip of yours.

cucaracha · 15/03/2018 10:53

if you have 3 kids, please do work on that problem asap. They need photos of their mum with them, being happy, not covering her face or avoiding cameras.

YOU HAVEN'T, but if you had a real moustache, (again, you haven't...) so what? Do you think that people would stop talking to you because of it? Do you think you would miss out on friendship? Do you really think it would make any difference?

Katedotness1963 · 15/03/2018 10:53

I can't see anything on any of the pictures you've posted. I sport a PCOS moustache myself and mine is extremely obvious.

CaptainCardamom · 15/03/2018 10:55

Yes, in the nicest possible way, it seems like a mental issue. (Not judging you there - I have an anxiety problem myself, though not about appearance). It's not uncommon, especially now with instagram filters etc. People can get obsessed about particular features or how they look in general, and their perception can be genuinely distorted.

I once saw a documentary about tanning, with people who had become obsessed with being tanned and couldn't leave the house if they didn't feel they'd done it perfectly. People can be the same about make-up. And so on and so on.

And I agree what would be really sad is if you have to go through life feeling horribly self conscious and awkward, when you look like you do - pretty and lovely. Make the most of it.

Jenna43 · 15/03/2018 10:55

There's honestly nothing there so YABUGrin

A very rare unanimous thread.

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 15/03/2018 10:55

In the nicest way, I can't see a thing!

cucaracha · 15/03/2018 10:57

OP, just saw your full-faced photo. you are gorgeous. I hate you a little bit. It's such a shame you are wasted some of your prettier years by having this complex.

BettyBaggins · 15/03/2018 10:58

What tiny weeny shadow you do have, the majority ofnus have with dark hair. Bleaching your skin will not affect the hair colour under the skin which you feel is so objectionable.

I say you feel, because your issue is an emotional one. You have 3 children, please dont pass on your self image issues to them.

If people are looking at your lips alot I would bet cash its because you have the loveliest cupids bow not because you have a tash!

Unless you are seeing gp for emotional support regarding body dysmorphia or such like please dont see them because of this. Put the mirror down and stop wasting your beautiful life.

Original poster
Glitterzzz · 15/03/2018 10:59

Thank you all so much ... honestly it took guts to post those photos and I’ve had some lovely lovely comments from your ladies 😌 I think I need to see my GP... I was hoping for some magic cream to bleach my skin but maybe your right this has become out of control

OP posts:
mrsBeverleyGoldberg · 15/03/2018 11:00

I think the photo has picked up a small shadow from the top lip in relation to the light source. If you look carefully you can see it follows the shape of your top lip. If you were having your portrait painted it would show the contour of your face. Without it you would have a strange flat face. It is definitely not a moustache. Your lips are a great shape and plump! If you look at the more obvious shadows on your face you will see the same colour. Hair doesn't dye skin.

ginch · 15/03/2018 11:01

I have an extremely attractive DD who has OCD, this reminds me of her.

Might this apply to you OP?

BoreOfWhabylon · 15/03/2018 11:02

If people are staring it is because you have such a lovely face. I would kill for lips like yours.

It is entirely normal to have skin tone/ pigment changes across the face. What looks weird and unnatural is make up that makes the entire face appear exactly the same colour.

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