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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Moustache shadow .. with photo :-(

258 replies

Glitterzzz · 15/03/2018 09:21

I know this might not sound a big problem to a lot of people but I have a constant female moustache shadows on my upper lips. I don’t even have a problem with hair it’s juts this constant blue/ grey tinge that has got worse and worse over the last couple of years.

I don’t smoke I’m not on birth control and don’t have any hormone issues I’m aware of. I’ve tried home remedies, chemical peels and led light treatments, vitimans and every expensive covering foundation on the market from £6 to £45 and nothing hides it.

I’m so so self conscious of it now. I’m not making eye contact with people even walking to my car all I can think is of the shadow. I see people staring at the area also.. when I cover it I use peach/ red liostick then concealer and then foundation and it still is there ...

I’m getting desperate. My partner hasn’t said a word but I seem him looking at it almost in shock .. I didn’t have this a couple years ago when we met. I’m so sick of hiding my face with my hands, not having confidence to even look people I know in the face.. and worst all I cannot even cover it and go about my day... please help! Does anyone have this problem ? Could my Gp help!

OP posts:

Thread gallery

whiskyowl · 15/03/2018 09:33

I would never in a million years have noticed that unless you had pointed it out. Honestly, it's so very, very light that no-one is going to see it. You are worrying about nothing, you really are.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 15/03/2018 09:33

There's nothing to see. Honestly stop obsessing about it. You really need to alter your mindset over this because it's seriously affecting the way you interact with people. I'd go as far as saying that you might have a form of dismorphia and if it's impacting your life to such an extent then speak to your gp about some cbt.

You have a beautiful mouth.

Original poster

Glitterzzz · 15/03/2018 09:34

That made me laugh out loud the photo with the blue moustache .. 😂😂 maybe these photos are not showing the true extent of the problem... trust me it’s there ... even the private dermatologist said so... she agreed it was a blue grey tinge... mentioned something about the vessels under the skin... this is really affecting me 😪 I have no confidence at all anymore to look people in the face ... if it was all in my mind which it isn’t ... why would people stare at it and when I speak to a few
Close people nobody has ever said you don’t have it ...

OP posts:

ChaoticKate · 15/03/2018 09:34

I can see what you’re talking about, but only because I have the same thing. I think it’s really mild melasma. Mine became more noticeable when I was working in a sunnier country. I spent a long time convinced I looked utterly hideous and everyone was staring at me but actually they really weren’t. Trust me, it might be the only thing you can see when you look at your face but to everyone else, it’s not even noticeable. Good sunscreen consistently applied made mine lighter.

LostInShoebiz · 15/03/2018 09:35

No one can see it at all, not even slightly.

The fact is, this is AIBU, the famous nest of vipers: if there was even a hint of hair, we would tell you and it would be brutally honest.

I'm pretty much hairless due to a medical issue and I have more hair on my top lip than you!

ThymeLord · 15/03/2018 09:35

I genuinely can't see anything either, and I agree with a previous poster that you have really nice shaped lips!

Celebelly · 15/03/2018 09:36

Yes, I would say if you've reached the stage where you're paranoid that everyone is looking at it and don't want to make eye contact, you should see your GP. Not about 'the shadow', but about your thought processes and how to change them. It's giving you so much pain and anxiety and it really shouldn't. I'd post a pic of my upper lip to show you but I do have a moustache at the moment

Yokohamajojo · 15/03/2018 09:36

I can't see anything either but I can see it on my upper lips in certain lights and in my case I think it stems from burning my upper lip in the sun in younger years and it's a pigment change. Have you ever done that? Not that it's any solution but a possible explanation

Celebelly · 15/03/2018 09:38

Re: people staring - either it's because you've plastered too much makeup on it which has actually made it obvious or, more likely, they aren't really staring at it - they're looking at your lips as you talk which is quite normal if someone doesn't want to stare at you in the eye all the time during a conversation!

When you are paranoid about something, everything others do confirms it. And you might be drawing more attention to it by putting extra makeup on, or trying to cover it with your hand, etc. which makes people wonder what's going on!

jellyfrizz · 15/03/2018 09:39

I can see what you’re talking about, but only because I have the same thing. I think it’s really mild melasma. Mine became more noticeable when I was working in a sunnier country.

Me too, I used to call it my tan tash. If it is that it's probably best not to have any treatments that make your skin more photo-sensitive.

OutyMcOutface · 15/03/2018 09:39

I have an actual moustache. Always have. Never dove anything about it. I still get a lot of admiration (despite my children completely destroying my body). Clearly a ladystache isn’t really a big deal.

Original poster

Glitterzzz · 15/03/2018 09:42

I agree about the Make up... I’m not a pro and I’ve tried every product and every brush .. I’ve even watch videos on transgender men who now also have to hide the upper lip shadow Yet I cannot seem to cover mine.. I could half deal with this if I could cover it but I can’t :-((( I was wondering if the GP would laugh at me or would be able to help me .... I can’t even look my partner In the eyes ... all I think about is my shadow... paying for petrol I just cannot look... even when I get a take away I turn the hallway light off :-( I sound so stupid but I promise you itboody there and worse than ever

OP posts:

nokidshere · 15/03/2018 09:45

This is not about your shadow really because it's not really there. You need to explore why this is such a big issue for you.

Without wanting to minimise your anxiety about it you do seriously need to get a grip. I, and thousands of people like me, have to face the world each day with serious facial skin problems (in my case psoriasis), scars, and disfigurements. Believe me I would kill some days to 'just' have a horrible zit or a bit of facial hair.

The next person you see about your problem should be a counsellor to help you put it into perspective.

Haisuli · 15/03/2018 09:45

There's nothing there and you have beautiful lips.

DietCokeGirrrrrl · 15/03/2018 09:46

This is AIBU - people aren't just nice for no reason! You get the cold hard truth and then some on here. And truthfully I can't see anything - maybe in bright lights etc you see it because you're looking for it, but that doesn't mean others do!

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 15/03/2018 09:46

In RL people don’t tend to focus on one part of your face when they speak to you, they either look at your face as a whole or focus on the eyes. I doubt anyone seea what you can see.

MereDintofPandiculation · 15/03/2018 09:47

It really isn't noticeable to other people! Stop looking for it and instead look at your beautiful lips which is what everyone else sees. I've got a slightly asymmetrical mouth, and as soon as I put lipstick on, it looks as if I'm permanently sneering - I really envy your lips!

Bojangles33 · 15/03/2018 09:47

It's not out of the ordinary to have a tiny bit of a shadow there but if it's bothering you just bleach or wax it?

CrankyCat · 15/03/2018 09:48

I cannot see any hair at all, in the first pic, if I look REALLY closely, it just looks like you have not blended your foundation in properly but if I saw you in the street, I would not notice it at all.

pictish · 15/03/2018 09:48

I’m another who can’t see anything amiss on your face. I have a slight shadow like you describe (but that I can’t see on your photos) but it doesn’t bother me. What can I do about the pigment of my skin? I never give it a thought. Ever.

I think a trip to your GP may well be in order, not to get rid of the (non-existent) shadow but regarding your disproportionate level of anxiety and upset over it. Good luck xx

NauticalDisaster · 15/03/2018 09:49

I don't see it either but you might get better advice on the Style & Beauty board. Some users gave AIBU hidden and won't see this post. The advice on S&B is usually great, MNHQ can move thus thread there if you want to. Good luck!

KittenBeast · 15/03/2018 09:49

There's absolutely nothing there. Literally nothing. I think this might be in your head.

SleepFreeZone · 15/03/2018 09:49

I can’t see anything either

DoneAdulting · 15/03/2018 09:49

There's nothing there, this is problem with your mind not your skin.

Original poster

Glitterzzz · 15/03/2018 09:49

Yeah I did say at the first post that it might not seem a big deal to a lot of people... I know this isn’t a serious problem in the scale of things but it’s seriously affecting my confidence ..

OP posts:

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