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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have told me they’d taken it?

306 replies

Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:12

My best friend died of stomach cancer 5 years ago and left me a few of her possessions, one of which being a Victorian plant stand. A few months ago I decided to get it French polished so I arranged for a friend to come and collect it on a Friday morning. He was stuck in traffic so he told me to leave it on my driveway as he was only 5 mins away and I had to leave for work. I left it behind the wheelie bins it was partially obscured but you would have to move the bin to get to it. I got to work and found a message on my phone from my friend saying that the stand wasn’t there. I was really upset and cross with myself for leaving it outside but I accepted the fact it had gone but felt really sad due to the sentimental value attached to it. We had a loft conversion done and i went up to have a look and we have a good view of our neighbours garden. I was shocked to see my plant stand in their garden, painted black and with a new top nailed to it. I showed my husband and he said leave it don’t say anything but AIBU yo knock on their door and have a go at them for not asking me if they could have it?

OP posts:
TERFragetteCity · 14/03/2018 17:13

To be fair, you left it out by a bin.

They weren't to know you hadn't planned on chucking it out.

Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:14

I know but I see them every day they could have at least told me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:14

I think it’s just good manners and neighbourly.

OP posts:
Rainatnight · 14/03/2018 17:15

Crikey. Are you sure it's the same one? I'd have to say something. They should have checked with you

blaaake · 14/03/2018 17:16

Definitely say something. Thieves.

SleepFreeZone · 14/03/2018 17:17

Wow. How awful. Can you go round and say something, I’m sure they didn’t know it was a precious item.

TenancyTroublesAgain · 14/03/2018 17:17

I'd have to say something too. It was by a bin yes, not on the pavement.

Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:18

Yes it’s definitley the same one. It’s worth around £500 although worth fuck all now they’ve painted it black

OP posts:
LavenderH · 14/03/2018 17:18

YANBU, I'd explain the sentimentality of it and ask why they thought they could take it in the first place without asking, whether they thought it was for the bin or not - neighbours pinching something from your rubbish without asking is very odd!

Side note: be 100% sure it is the same stand and not a look a like

MapMyMum · 14/03/2018 17:18

Personally yeah Id say something. I get that you left it out by the bin, but unless it was down by the roadside for collection I wouldnt assume it was to be thrown away.

Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:18

I’m just asking if I’m bu as my dog thinks I am if I go around there accusing them of punching it without letting me know

OP posts:
seven201 · 14/03/2018 17:18

They thought that it was rubbish. Pop round and explain how you saw it in the garden and explain the full situation. They'll give it back.

Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:18

My dh not my dig

OP posts:
Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:19

Dog

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Eltonjohnssyrup · 14/03/2018 17:19

They’re not thieves. It was a misunderstanding. Explain the situation and tell them how much sentimental value it has to you. They will probably be mortified and return it.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 14/03/2018 17:20

It’s definitely not worth ruining a relationship with people your stuck next door to.

Gemini69 · 14/03/2018 17:20

your friend was clearly more than 5 minutes away Flowers

blaaake · 14/03/2018 17:21

A misunderstanding? Taking something that isn't yours from your neighbour's driveway is a misunderstanding ????

SundaySalon · 14/03/2018 17:21

Oh god I would have to say something. What’s your relationship with them like? Are they likely to get defensive and shitty? Would you want it back considering the changes they have made to it?

My DH saw some old pallets on a skip outside someone’s house and still asked if he could take them.

Babyplaymat · 14/03/2018 17:21

I would have to say something. I'm amazed they didn't mention it in passing.

LavenderH · 14/03/2018 17:23

Who goes into someone's driveway to take something that you'd have to move their wheelie bin to take? How did they know it was there? Were they watching you put it there?
Very bad manners at the very least

Blackteadrinker77 · 14/03/2018 17:24

They'll have just thought you were getting rid of it.

I'm sure they'd gladly give it back if you explain.

Avasarala · 14/03/2018 17:24

It's a misunderstanding. Just go round and be friendly saying you'd left it out front for a friend to collect so it could be polished and assumed it had been stolen, but then saw it from your upstairs window and would like it back. It's yours. Theyre your neighbours, if you're friendly it won't be a problem. Tell them you inherited it etc. Nothing bad is going to happen if you keeping friendly and just ask.

Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:29

Babyplaymat yes that’s exactly what I thought.

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Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:31

The thing is he’s nailed a great big piece of wood to the top of it. Clearly they don’t know it’s material value. I’m so upset they didn’t ask me.

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